To be mad at my dh for inviting his dd over when she has vomiting bug?

[parrotsandcarsnips]

Ok my dh's adult dd lives nearby & she has been vomiting with earache. Dh offers her some home comforts & tlc at our house which is great EXCEPT he didnt tell me she had vomiting just earache . We have 2 small children here I don't want a sick house over xmas. Dh thinks I'm a cold b.... As I'm really mad at him. Aibu?

Yabu. She's his daughter, and she's sick. If one of your small children was sick you would not ship him/her out.

YANBU, she's an adult, I don't need to see my mum when I'm sick, in fact I'd actively avoid seeing anyone unless I really needed help. I have adult stepchildren and I'd not be impressed if they came round with sickness, just like I wouldn't take my children round theirs if they were ill.

Not at all. It is perfectly acceptable for your small children to learn that an ill relation is an inconvenience and should be left to suffer alone. It is never too early to teach them that they are all important and no one else's comfort and wellbeing should be put above their fun.

Ofgs, a non relation would have the Sense to not take a vomiting to a house with small children in it. Seems the DSD who is an Adult is only thinking of herself.

I can understand how both of you feel - you are worried about your family getting sick, and he wants to look after his poorly dd.

Firstly , it may not be norovirus - maybe it's the pain of earache, or a having a temperature from an ear infection that's making her sick. Secondly, if it is a stomach bug, you may well be able to ward off cross-infection with good hygiene - lots of hand washing, anti bacterial gel, and wiping down surfaces with antibacterial wipes.

Teach me to skim read, I missed the earache bit. If it's the pain making her throw then I probably wouldn't mind, though I doubt being in a house with small kids is best for someone with earache! It certainly wouldn't be peaceful here.

I can see both sides.

But for me I would say yanbu, she's an adult she does not need her mum or dad to look after her when she has a bug. And consideration by an adult would usually mean you stay out the way of anybody more vulnerable than you.

Surely, "if it is a stomach bug, your DH or the adult DD may well be able to ward off cross-infection with good hygiene - lots of hand washing, anti bacterial gel, and wiping down surfaces with antibacterial wipes?

If it's the earache making her sick then YABU and your DH is being kind by inviting her over to take care of her. You're never too old to appreciate your mum or dad looking after you.

If she's being sick because of an infectious bug then YANBtotallyU.

I agree with lurked - if earache/non-infectious bug, then have her over - she's a relative. If it is norovirus then of course she should stay the hell away: it is unreasonable to risk the health of your other kids in that manner.

"It is never too early to teach them that they are all important and no one else's comfort and wellbeing should be put above their fun."

This comment is absurd. It's not a matter of whether the other kids have fun - it's a matter of whether or not they get sodding norovirus.

i've got noro and i can tell you, no-one wants it. and it would ruin christmas for families. as an adult, the woman should sstay away.

That's the problem we don't know what is causing vomiting as yet. I am a bit calmer now but I still think the decision was foolish until she had seen Gp dh could have went to her instead.

Audrina - I agree that, having invited her over, the OP's dh should bear the brunt of the cleaning, but lots of good hand washing and antibacterial gel is the best way for each person in the house to protect themselves, if someone in the house does have a stomach bug.

Surely teaching children that its not ok to spread your illnesses around and they should sometimes do something for the greater good is called consideration, as opposed to teaching them the world revolves around them?

It's probably her eat infection making her vomit so won't be contagious.

In fairness, the OP hasn't said that the adult dsd has demanded to come over and be nursed - her dad offered. And even an adult can want a bit of tlc if it is offered.

Absolutely SDTG, I read "you" and misinterpreted it as that the OP should be doing it. Sorry

You know there are so many of these threads, I am referring to my own child here, if they got a sickness bug, while staying at dads, I would expect Dad to keep them, rather than send them home so we can all get infected as well.

If they were sick while here, then I would keep them, rather than send them to dads to infect his house.

People get so hung up on the whole step issue.

I personally wouldnt want to be exposed to sickness bugs nor would I want my younger DCs exposed to it, if possible.

Perhaps that makes me a bad parent - but it just seems like common sense to stay away from people if you may have a bug they can catch.

YANBU at al, she is an adult fgs and can look after hersef. The number f times pre dh I had to look after myself if I was I'll. It's selfish, on it be his head if you all come dwn with it ver Christmas

If we was a child fair enough but she is not!

If while at her mums if she was a child and she had vomitting plans would ave to be cancelled until she is better

It would have been better for her to stay at home and her dad to go and visit her with soups, magazines, ibuprofen etc.

It doesn't matter how old you are - everyone needs tlc when they're ill.

That's a good idea Winky

Your husband is being a good dad to his dd who isn't well. YABU. They are all his children, not just the little ones that belong to you.

I bet you wouldn't fuss if it was your adult DD who wanted to visit whilst ill.