To really, really, really HATE Christmas?

[alicetrefusis]

All of it - from the schmaltzy music, to the tacky decorations, to the awful three day family lockdowns?

YABU. Christmas is a lovely time of the year. However, YANBU do hate aspects of it - the long long build up starting in Sept; the ridiculous overspending and people getting themselves into debt; the dying out of some of the simpler traditions to be replaced by more brash, commercialised ones - things like that.

Also, having been bereaved this year I know that Christmas at a time like this is very difficult and sad. However, it general it can be a lovely time if it's done properly and not just seen as a mad booze and spending fest.

That's sad Rubberglove.
I'm peeved about the fact that my kids seem to do eff all in school for this last two weeks apart from watch dvds and have chocolates and crap rammed down them.
It sucks all the fun out of treats when you get them every bloody day for days on end.
No wonder half of Britain is the size of a small bungalow.
I think I'll take them out of school early next year and do something useful with them.

I think hating Christmas is something that might be passed down to you. I'm not sure that I actively hate it, but it always makes me feel very low, although I play along with it all. When we were young, my mum, a young widow with four children, having lost my dad to suicide, hated Christmas - but she tried so bloody hard - bought us all this stuff etc - I remember the sound of her wrapping it up in the next door bedroom after we'd all gone to bed - but we were seriously poor - and many years later, now that I am relatively well off and with young children of my own, Christmas shopping is the one thing that makes me feel extraordinarily, indefinably sad - i absolutely hate it - I finally get a sense, walking around the shops searching through all the tat buying gratuitous gifts for my children - of how incredibly hard it was - and how lonely she must have felt. It is like carrying a heavy weight. I hate shopping at Christmas.

I can understand why people don't like Christmas. Especially the commercialism... don't think anyone likes that. I think it stems from the idea you have to have a perfect Christmas, with all the compulsory things that make Christmas, Christmas.
Like other posters have said, you just do it how you want it, and then you enjoy it!

I don't send cards
I don't do crappy board games/party games
I don't make everything from scratch for the Xmas dinner
I don't spend loads (in fact last year we had a 'only for the kids' rule and it was awesome)

When we got a Christmas on our own, we just took it really easy, played with our presents, I got a bit giddy on Bucks Fizz and we watched some great films :) It was so much more rewarding than the Christmas' at my sister's house, where half of the bastards sat around waiting to be fed, lots of arguments and generally just felt like my Mum and I were the only ones that did anything. Fuck that!

I don't really understand people who say 'I hate Christmas because I had some rotten ones in the past'. I did that & then decided I could go on hating Christmas & have rotten Christmases ever after, or I could make an effort & try to get into the spirit of things. It was hard work for a few years but I managed it & love it now.

My view is clouded slightly by MIL who always goes on about how she hates Christmas, would gladly ignore the whole thing & can't even get excited for her grandchildren's sake. miserable old cow I just get bored hearing about how terrible it is

I don't HATE it but I do feel stressed out and that the responsibility for making sure everyone has a lovely time all rests on my shoulders. Why do I feel like that?

I'm going to second the people who say do what you want, and you'll enjoy it.

I know it sounds ridiculously sanctimonious, but one of the best parts of my Christmas last year was sitting down having some quiet time meditating, listening to music and reading St John's gospel. A real time of calm and reflection at a dark time of the year. I think you can build in time for peace and for yourself whether you're religious or not.

I'm looking forward to seeing various old friends who are going to be around visiting family, I've enjoyed some lovely local events, and I've not done a vast amount of shopping or worried about gifts.

My mum always used to hand over presents while apologising for them, and so I like to make it as tranquil as possible, without expectations or commercialisation.

Real Xmas tree and crackers are the only thing I enjoy. The rest I endure. Having dd just puts even more pressure on me to pretend its all lovely...

Yanbu to dislike it,

Personally I love it, you get what you put into it.

I am officially let off from christmas because I converted to Judaism, not for that reason of course but I see it as a bonus to be finally relieved of christmas. Then we had kids and we live in a place with a very small Jewish community and the ignorance and pressure for us to do christmas is overwhelming. Everyone seems to think we are denying our children something but nobody asks us what being a Jew means all year around. I have struggled this year and have told DC that father christmas will bring them a present because I had to respond in some way to the endless adults asking my dc if they'd been good this year and what FC would be bringing them. I feel uneasy about bringing this much christmas into our lives but can't see how to keep it out without hurting dc. WISH I lived in a more diverse area and I dislike the way the whole country closes down and we are all forced into it. So on christmas day we will just eat a nice meal and give dc a present each and keep the tv off. Oh and in the run up to christmas I listen to radio 4 because I cannot stand the constant reference to christmas and the assumption that we are all the same.

Feel for you giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer

Shrieking said

Yanbu... The wholesale commercialisation of the day, hackneyed Christmas anthems (which make me spiral into a whirling dervish of rage), Christmas films, mentally stunted adults who repeat the "how many sleeps until christmas?" mantra and/or gush about "crimbo" and obsess about getting presents (as in receiving gifts..basically greed), the inevitable endemic that is panic buying and equally the smug shits who have everything bought months in advance.. And boy do they like you to tell you about it. Yawn. Just yawn.

Shrieking, I think we are twins, separated at birth, and brought up in different parts of the forest by she-wolves

Today was Secret Santa and Happy Pizza Day at The Office. I ignored the first obviously but, stupid me, I paid £8, along with everyone else, and they arrived, not from the well-known Italian joint, but the American fast food shed - greasy, tepid, limp and flaccid, box after box after box of them, along with various 'sides' - as the christmas crazed person in charge massively over-ordered. Half of the food was left untouched at the end of the day. What a fucking waste.

YABU, I love Christmas, every little spangly arsed, glitter in my nipples, pine needles up my toe, sharp-ended, mean-faced, great & glorious, belting out of Slade, Goose gorging, holly & mistletoe shaped pants-worth of the whole fucking tree-shaped thing.

Love it.

Pah to you refusers.

knackeredknees I hope your ds feels better soon. It must be tough to see your little one sad.

Of course you if you dislike it, that's up to you. But I really can't stand people who make a big song and a dance about how much they hate Christmas - generally tend to be not very nice people in my experience who try to bring everyone else down with them simply because they don't enjoy it.

Again, if it's making you stressed, that's your problem. People get so stressed over so many insignificant things. Just try and enjoy a time of year where people tend to be friendlier, where you can enjoy spending time with your family, and where you can just relax if you do it right. If you go into anything moaning about how stressful it is - guess what, it'll be stressful.

I'm quite keen on seasonal festivals, generally. I like MayDay and Midsummer and Halloween and St George's Day as well. I can appreciate that the compulsoriness of 'Christmas' in a lot of the West drives people nuts, and can also see that marking more festivals could just turn into yet another way for manufacturers of tat to produce more tat that will end up in landfill, but there's still something quite profoundly nice and important about marking the turning of the seasons etc.

I've always hated it too. I really get how some people feel and just wanted to share my experience as it has this year changed.

As a child, my mum hated it and I felt responsible for her, unable at that age to realise that no one is responsible for anyone else's emotional health or reactions.
As a young adult, trapped, in a family that had "always done it" a certain way despite that way being misery.
Once I qualified in my profession - volunteering to work Christmas. The best Christmasses I'd ever had.

Once I had a child, I vowed not to pass on this inheritance. I didn't do too badly the first couple of years but I sank miserably after that. Untreated SAD, and the stress of single parenthood, but neither excuse failing to hide my hatred for what should be a lovely time, for several years. I've done a lot of work this year, on loads of stuff, and have built up gradually, enjoyed shopping, truly celebrated Advent, there are candles, favourite foods, and modern carols woven through our family time. The day itself will be peaceful, church, presents, cooking, eating, talking. I feel like I am breaking almost a curse. I hope it is in time for DD to forget my black, bleak years. I don't want her to be having to work on it like I have.

I'm doing voluntary homeless work over the time between Christmas and New Year - did last year too - gets me out of me, me, me.

WEReGOING - that was lovely, thank you.

I don't get stressed over the 'work' generally I enjoy having people round and am a real foodie. I am child-free though, which helps.

What I loathe is the peripheral stuff and the unavoidability of it; the waste, the greed, the mess, the rabid commercialism, the awful taste everywhere.

Plus of course the dark memories of christmas past. But that's taken as read.

The Shrieking - when can we get married please? I am unattached apart from my 13 dogs and 19 cats, 10 rabbits, 4 rats and an elderly weasel. There's also demented dad and crippled Mother - but I can buy the ring in the Argos New Year Xmas sale. What say you?

I know. What a pity baby Jesus wasn't born on leap year's day. Every four years would be fine. I could get into that. But every single ruddy December!
Don't have gorgeous unquarrelling family. Don't have an immaculate house. Don't have a bank balance worth mentioning. Don't like fancy cooking. Don't usually mind any of those things very much except at the blackest, wettest, highest expectation-lowest functioning time of the year.

After the 21st the days start getting longer. Do like that!

Ooh, the shrieking . What a good idea! I've just put on my charity shop plimsolls and soon will be knocking on your door to carry you away from the husband and kids, the cards, the tree, the tescos - turkey retailer of the year - and the mince pies and christmas pudding to a magical christmas-free existence... The alsatians can't wait to meet you!