To really, really, really HATE Christmas?

[alicetrefusis]

All of it - from the schmaltzy music, to the tacky decorations, to the awful three day family lockdowns?

[moondog]

Sounds lovely Pacific.

[Allergictoironing]

I should point out that mostly I do like Christmas, or at least when I'm employed and can afford to spend ridiculously large amounts of money on my nearest & dearest (my very favorite part). I'm not Christian (I'm Pagan) but find certain carols sung by a good choir incredibly emotive, I love tasteful non-tacky decorations & lights, I usually put up a tree (decorated trees are NOT specifically Christian I should point out). I enjoy Christmas dinner, and the excuse to cook & eat it with lovely people. I adore seeing the enjoyment others get from the season.

However I don't enjoy the commercialisation. I really hate other people's expectations especially when they are "Xmas nazis" who are horrified when you do things differently from them. I dislike the way people seem to buy enough food to feed a small 3rd world country and then are back out on Boxing Day buying even more food. I used to get upset watching a close friend being driven into a breakdown trying to make everything "perfect" for her extended family, who all seemed to think the Xmas fairy did everything - well they never helped her with the cooking for 20, decorating, gift buying & wrapping, shopping etc and they would be horrified if anyone suggested that they were being selfish, so must have thought the fairy did it all. I despise people who are competitive about the number of cards they receive or gifts they are given/have received. I am sad for people who think Christmas is just for getting a drunk as they can as often as they can then stuffing their faces until they are ill or asleep.

So all in all there are good things and bad things about Christmas, and they usually balance out pretty much for me.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I have learned over the years to pick and choose the bits about Christmas I like, and leave the rest!

I don't do family Christmases anymore, I often work so that's the perfect excuse. It's just me, DH and the boys. We see family before Christmas but always stay home for the big day.

Last year I worked both Christmas Eve and Christmas night so we didn't bother with a big meal, did a buffet and it was absolutely fabulous.

I just look on it as a nice relaxing day with good food and drink.

I don't do Christmas stress anymore if I can help it.

[ilovesooty]

I am so glad I'm not alone with this

You aren't - I think I love you too.

[boschy]

I was chatting with our (secondary) school head the other night, and she told me that the school counsellors (or whatever they are called) have to work really hard at this time of year, because the children with "non-perfect" families really suffer and they kick off big time. When the world portrays snow, and perfect nuclear families having a wonderful time and getting lovely presents, its a bit shit when you don't get that.

(but having said that, I do love a peaceful Christmas at home....)

[Hobbitation]

Most of my Christmas stress was centred around work. Now I don't do that job any more, I'm not stressed at all about it. Funny that.

[AutumnGlory]

Allergictoironing are you talking about my in-laws???

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

I don't think hating something most other people like makes you horrible! I hated the Olympics - well actually I didn't, I just buggered off to the S of France for 2 weeks and avoided the whole boring mess - and i got very weary of getting stick for that, so on that basis, OP, while I don;t agree, I sympathise.

[manicinsomniac]

YANBU as long as you don't show it in front of your children.

I hate Christmas for personal reasons but hopefully my kids don't know it - I make the effort and do everything, I just don't really see much point in it. Expensive, commercial crap that tries to force people to be happy when many people have a reason not to want to celebrate a particular time of the year every year.

I am a Christian so I do love the real side of Christmas. But not all the sparkle, noise, presents and family stuff.

[theplodder]

I hate Christmas too. Glad I am not in the UK anymore, Christmas is very overdone and ridiculously pressurized there. It's much more low key here in Australia. Half the people don't even decorate their house, there are very few municipal decorative displays or lights. Carols by candlelight,u yes, and we all know its the season, but not all shops are blaring Christmas tunes or wall to wall panicky, desperate Christmas ads on tv liss .

[giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer]

I hate it. All it does is remind me I have no children. Am really struggling to cope this week.

[longingforsomesleep]

YANBU - I loathe and detest Christmas.

I hate Christmas primarily because I think it's absolutely obscene that so many people (including me) are spending an absolute fortune on stuff nobody needs whilst so many people are starving.
I hate the thought of kids, elderly people etc feeling even more deprived/neglected in comparison with the perceived Happy Family Xmas
I hate the commercialism and being manipulated into buying things
I hate the stress
I hate the amount of work it involves for me
I hate the tensions with extended family over who visits whom and when
I hate the fact that I'm expected to buy presents for my niece and nephew's kids when they don't buy anything for mine (and my niece and nephew never even bother to say thank you)
I hate the fact that I didn't have the guts to opt out of the sodding secret santa at work
I hate the endless attempts to explain to my mum that my teenage sons would like hard cash - not a nice dressing gown and slippers.
I hate Christmas Cake, Christmas pudding and mince pies
I hate the fact that these days I can't drink more than a couple of glasses of wine without feeling ill so I can't blot it all out

I HATE IT!!!

[VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry]

i think i used to be a bit take it or leave it but now i have to work them i miss them so so much.

i think yabu. spare a thought for those with families who want to be with them when instead they are doing what they do for the other 365 days a year. It makes me genuinely sad that my xmas will never be the same again. I am off for this one due to illness, and i intend to savour every minute of it, just being here with DH and the kids.

[nokidshere]

Point taken about it being unavoidable! But there are things you can do tro make it less so. My own christmas goes like this:

All shopping done online
No visitors
No visiting
Stay in PJ's all day
No Christmas Dinner
No cards sent

Just the 4 of us in our own home with the door locked and the phone off the hook, in our pj's eating food as and when we want it from the fridge.

[knackeredknees]

I used to quite like it when the kids were small, but now I just find it a huge pressure. I rarely watch ads on the TV but hate the way that I allow myself to feel inadequate because we don't have a huge family gathering.

It's just DH, DS and me, we never do a turkey, and just do the present thing, maybe watch a movie, DH cooks a nice dinner. I usually like our quite little Christmases but DS is suffering from depression at the moment and it's really hard to be positive.

I personally think that actually most people don't really like Christmas but feel they have to pretend that they do.

[alicetrefusis]

This is really interesting and, in a funny way, uplifting!

Longing - I have opted out of the secret santa at work - I can barely imagine anything more stressful or potentially humiliating.

I stopped sending cards two years ago - such a relief. Humour also helps - I've done a spoof round robin this year for close friends - you know - 'Persephone got 12 A* at AS level this year - we were really proud, especially as she's only six; whilst I've been busy re-imagining the drawing room in a colourway of pistachio and suede' etc etc. That lifted my spirits, albeit briefly.

Short of spending The Day with my ancient crippled mother (her c word, not mine)and then visiting demented Dad in the home, I am ignoring as much as possible.

Christmas pudding Ach!
Mince Pies Ach Ach!
Sprouts and The Bird ... bleurgh.

Stollen's quite nice though.

[rubberglove]

Well my step-father hated xmas, like you lot. And he ruined it for me every sodding year when I was a kid.

Now I can give my dc a lovely xmas (I don't spend loads, just enjoy their company and the magic).

And yes there is greed and falseness, so instead of moaning get out and do something.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Nokidshere: your Xmas day sounds like most people's Boxing Day!

[SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh]

I think it's a matter of taking the bits you want and dumping the bits you don't. quite like it, and DS loves it. We play 'light-spotting' on every late afternoon or evening journey, looking out for houses with external decorations - I really do like the whole lights-in-the-darkness-of-winter thing. I like Christmas dinner (perhaps because I have never, ever had to cook it. My tip for avoiding getting stuck with the cooking = stay single and live somewhere much to small to host a family gathering).
But I do appreciate that it's difficult if you've got a lot of family to negotiate, including a whole lot of people who want The Best Christmas Ever every year. My DS' dad is uninterested in Christmas, and last year and this year has been happily able to spend the day in bed with a six pack and a ready meal as his parents have gone on holiday; he sees DS a day or two before and DS and I go to my mother's for the day itself. However, DS dad has to deal with his SIL fretting at him that he 'shouldn't be alone at Christmas, waa waa..'

[bigbluebump]

It is up to all of you to make Christmas into what suits you. We, for example, spend Christmas at home, just the four of us, and eat lovely food (not necessarily turkey but definitely German stollen for dessert), play board games together, go for a walk and just enjoy the day off.

[cinnamonnut]

YANBU - I love Christmas, but only because we just do it as the three of us, without those awful massive family gatherings with everyone playing "hilarious" games and getting drunk.

We still do stockings, presents, cards, christmas dinner (not turkey though) and everything else, but it's more of a nice day for three of us than hectic chaos.

[Mrsrudolphduvall]

Totally agree with everyone who does it their own way.
It has never been my favourite time..however we always have it just the 4 of us in our own house. No turkey..this year we are having lamb.
I don't buy Baileys, mince pies, tins of Roses or the other apparent " must haves" ...makes me feel sick to think of all that food.

Dh and ds off to Australia on Christmas Day evening, so a very different holiday for dd and I. People have been appalled ..."but it's Xmas..how can you be separated?"...we did it last year and it was great.

My tree will be down before new year, I will be at the gym on the 28th and not posting in January how much food I have consumed, and how do I lose the weight.

[MariaMandarin]

I like it but I think we should only have it every 2 years. You only get about 7 months off before the whole thing starts over again. It would be more of an event if it happened less often.

[Sparklingbrook]

Every 2 years would be perfect Maria.

[Lara2]

Somehow it has fallen to me over the last few years to do the family Christmas dinner - I have no idea how this happened. I love my family, but so hate Christmas, I have decided to look on it as a roast dinner with presents. I resist all pressure to do it 'properly' and it works for me. My kids are 16 and 20 and I think that when they're not so dependent on Mum doing Christmas, I'm going to go off volunteering for homeless charities, doing lunch etc. I really hate the commercialism and greed of it all it makes me feel ill. This will be my first Christmas without my own Mum who died in April and I think we all want to be together as a family but it will be hard without her.