To really, really, really HATE Christmas?

[alicetrefusis]

All of it - from the schmaltzy music, to the tacky decorations, to the awful three day family lockdowns?

For those complaining that TV depicts traditional home-spun perfect families, which ads are your watching ????

Not the Boots ads - child locating present so that single parent can meet ideal fella.
Not Boots ad version two - child locating perfect present so that Dad doesn't regularly sniff new girlfriends knickers.
Not Waitrose - we're just showing you three puddings and a TV chef.
Not MnS - we're just showing you the god-awful his and hers terrible jumper and fake snow collection.

Its' that Tesco one isn't it ! - the happy family round the table, the massive turkey arried in by Dad, yup that one is awful but might easily be seen as a mismash of loosly related folk.

I don't celebrate it, and do find the constant music and surrounding by it a bit tiring.

Right now though I'm hating it because my Christmas celebratng in-laws, who normally come down in Feb. around a bunch of birthdays, have decided to tell us this week that they are coming down next week to celebrate with step-BIL and making a stop here on the way back. Which means I'm going to have to get them presents or step-FIL (who pretty muchs equates love with making and giving presents) will get sulky again. Years ago which was the last time they surprised us and I didn't have presents for them, he went into a major strop, did a 'oh you poor kids who don't get to do things on the 25th" at toddlers who hadn't the slightest idea what was going on. It took us years to get the balance of mutual gift giving and not having him wrap presents in February in Christmas wrapping and calling them "not-Christmas presents" and trying to get my toddlers to say Happy Christmas. So to avoid major family blow out that and ruining the balance I worked so hard to achieve, I'm scurrying around websites with next day delivery to find presents for them and they happen to be the most difficult people to buy for. Complicated families make too much stress.

Most of it is really not compulsory though. I don't watch broadcast television (only movies and series on DVD), and do most of my shopping online, so I haven't really seen any advertising or annoying music. Don't send cards, or buy presents for adults (and we don't have kids, so essentially I don't buy presents). We're popping round to MIL's for lunch on the 25th, and that's about it really. I'm taking advantage of things being quiet to catch up at work, and otherwise just carrying on as normal.

Yes there are annoying things, like public transport not running, and this weekend the Sainsbury's home delivery slots were all booked up and the store was packed , but it's only once a year so not really a major issue. You just have to plan around it.

I always do a little meditation on Solstice night, and I like to take a bit of time to reflect on the year gone by and think about my hopes for the coming year. We'll go skating at one of the outdoor ice rinks sometime because they're fun. I guess what I'm saying is, do the bits you like (if any), don't bother with the rest. I'm pretty oblivious at the best of times to what I'm 'supposed' to be doing, I tend to just do my own thing.

I normally like it but am feeling very meh this year. DH and I are on the brink of a divorce, DH has not had his contract at work renewed so is out of work come mid Jan, and he has issues with alcohol so I am feeling nervous about how he will be over the holidays. My Mum is staying with us for Christmas and she is hard work - long story there but she is very self-obsessed, and I am missing my Dad who died in 2011. Elder DD is 11 and very hormonal. Younger DD is 8 and over excited. I am overweight and look like shit. So the whole food/wine/present buying extravaganza is feeling very much like hard work this year. The only good thing is that my job is term time only so I get two weeks off.

Christmas is great if you have money/company, crap if you don't as it just magnifies the fact you don't.

Christmas is great as long as you get to celebrate it the way you want to. When you live way toooo close to Christmas loving relatives who do your head in, it's the pits.

I don't think anyone is BU to hate it. It would be U to inflict that on others though but there is nothing wrong with quietly avoiding it where possible.

I find this time of year hard. It just amplifies the fact that my family are miserable, toxic and inconsiderate, and reminds me that the few people I really cared about are cut off from me since I revealed the abuse that had happened when I was young. Xmas was miserable and boring enough before that, but even worse when it became just me and my parents. So Xmas makes me very sad that I don't have a nice family.

Now with DCs I make an effort to make Xmas fun. I have put pressure on myself in the past though and I have only recently lowered my expectations. Because for them, Xmas is naturally magical - they do so much at school, they see things on telly etc.

I totally agree with keeping the bits you do like, and ditching the rest. Thankfully my parents aren't bothered that we want to spend Xmas on our own. Gradually we are building up our own traditions (even if a few were nicked from MN to start us off - DH was abused too, so we pretty much had to start from scratch) and Xmas is shaping up to be lovely.

This has been an incredibly shit year and I am looking forward to a few days of playing games, watching new movies, eating nice food and giving each other gifts. And opening a few gifts from my 2 MN secret santas - now that really has made Xmas special. It's not about the gifts (though of course that is lovely) - but knowing that two people have actually taken time and effort and money to think about a complete stranger has really made me humbled and happy :)

Don't do it then.......
None of it is Christian anyway ....the image if the woman and the child is in every ancient religion since time began so have evergreen trees, Yule logs rebirth of the sun etc etc etc everyone knows that , first it was hijacked by the cristian church to bring in pagans to Christianity and keep them happy so they mad it all about Jesus . Now it's I jacked by commercialism to make us all spend money and feel guilty is we don't make it all perfect for our families , hence the schmaltzy ads on tv .

Looking at all the sad threads on here and in relationships, I do wonder why many, not all people, insist it's the most marvellous thing ever when clearly it's very often not.

I've had a predictably shit day today. Demented dad's care home were understaffed because, you know, it's christmas - leaving him with only one set of dentures to eat his christmas lunch with, and no-one had noticed. I found them down the side of his bed. His bathroom was filthy and his commode smeared with shit, and there was an inco pad on his bathroom floor, because, you know, it's christmas and they're understaffed. The manager was very defensive and rude - didn't I know it was christmas, and they were understaffed?

And I am in agony from a damaged back. Shouldn't have driven. Should have stayed at home, but then marvellous ma would have been home alone too.

I know what I'll be doing next year.

Sorry about your dad but YABU to hate Christmas. Try to spread some love and happiness, that's what it's all about! and drinking, obviously

I don't hate it, but I always find it a bit sad. I think what it comes down to is this: if you are really happy, everything is going well ,etc then it can be a happy time. But I'd things are not so perfect then Christmas can feel a bit lonely and bring into focus the fact that our life is not how we would like it to be.

I love Christmas! It's just the feeling it gives you, everyone is festive and in good moods, lots of laughing and drinks, you meet up with people you don't see alot and have a great time

I think Dexter had the definitive answer from the first

I don't hate Christmas. I just feel v.v.v. separate this year, even more so than last year. I am looking forward to my scrambled eggs, aubergine and halloumi tonight, an ELR with my dad and an early night with a bit of Harry Potter on tape lulling me off....

Obviously I am 70 and need to find myself a nice chintzy pouffe to complete the package.

If I had my choice, I would make it Contents of the Dessert Aisle and Champagne Day with a Harry Potter marathon, an electric radiator, blanket, and a 'do not disturb' sign. A good, informed choice.

YABU.

HTH