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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be totally fed up with my dh moaning that our house is too small and cluttered, and to tell him so?

65 replies

ponymaloney · 17/12/2012 23:26

I'm knackered, stressed and trying to remain cheerful. Dh gets really fecking irritating at Christmas, moans about the cost, the message, the clutter. Today he put the tree up and then moaned and moaned that the house was too small, there was too much stuff everywhere. Our house is a lovely, 4 bedroom (we have 3 kids) country cottage, yes it's old and a bit grotty in places but I think we are incredibly lucky to live in such a pretty house in a lovely part of the world. I really snapped, esp as I had just watched the news and was feeling quite frankly blessed to have 3 happy healthy kids. I told him he was spoilt and ungrateful and that he should get out a bit and see what a small house is really like and that in 5 years the kids would start leaving home so he ould keep everything immaculate and minimalist then which would no doubt make him happy. Unseasonable?
Sad

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 17/12/2012 23:35

YANBU. He needs to get things in perspective and shut up with the moaning. Reminds me when we had just set up a business, were still in our early thirties and had just bought a house, my DH used to moan that he didn't have much spare cash to do what he wanted. I actually left him (temporarily, obviously), I got that fed up of it!

Original poster
ponymaloney · 17/12/2012 23:37

That should read the cost, the MESS, the clutter Wink annoying phone

OP posts:
Hegsy · 18/12/2012 00:50

YANBU

BertieBotts · 18/12/2012 00:51

Tell him to declutter it then, you won't mind Grin

firawla · 18/12/2012 00:52

yanbu how can he moan with a 4 bed house, it can't be that small!

EcoLady · 18/12/2012 00:58

He reads to read this...

bottleofbeer · 18/12/2012 01:04

Are you me? mine did exactly that just yesterday. I admit my house is cluttered but hey ho that's what happens with a fairly big family. What did he want? 4 kids and a minimalist house.

He actually shouted at me about it.

There's one solution, flounce off to bed, read a book and flick a few Vs on your way up. Listen up bud, you'd know what real mess and clutter was if I wasn't this household's very own Cinderella!

AnnieLobeseder · 18/12/2012 01:06

Send him to live with us for a week, that'd give him a bit of perspective. There's 6 of us (okay, that's including 2 dogs, but one is a big-un) in a 1.5-bed with one multi-function room downstairs. Grin One wall is the living room, one wall is the office, one wall is the dining room and one wall is the guest bedroom! And ALL of it is the playroom Angry!!

AnnieLobeseder · 18/12/2012 01:07

Now I'm getting cross. Do these men not take any responsibility for their own homes? Ours gets messy and cluttered, and it annoys DH and I. So when it gets bad, we get together and have a massive declutter/tidy. The key word being together.

Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:32

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:33

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:33

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:33

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:33

He tidies a lot. He does laundry. It's actually really annoying. He used to happily potter about, now it's done through gritted teeth and constantly. But he'll just chuck everything in the wash without checking that it's dirty so actually you end up with lots of unnecessary washing. Every one thinks he's a saint but I'd trade the laundry for one spontaneous, happy gesture.

We've not actually spoken since my outburst Blush Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ponymaloney · 18/12/2012 06:36

OmgBlush what happened, can you delete messages?? leaves mumsnet in disgrace

OP posts:
TanteRose · 18/12/2012 06:37

Grin you really ARE upset about this, aren't you

he is BU

mid-life crisis maybe?

TanteRose · 18/12/2012 06:37

HIS crisis, btw, not yours...

crescentmoon · 18/12/2012 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spongebobsquareeyes · 18/12/2012 06:40

YANBU! Send him to my small 2 bed house where there are 4 of us, if we don't keep on top of things it gets really cluttered! DP and I have to work together to keep it clutter free. We've let it go this week because the kids and I have been ill and he works full time, but if he held that against me I'd tell him where to go!

stuffitunderthebed · 18/12/2012 06:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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