To want to send niece a card instead of a present

[Weta]

A year ago I asked DB to make sure that his kids systematically send a thank you (by email is fine), as I live on the other side of the world and it's my only form of communication with them. I have two nieces aged 11 and 9 and a nephew aged 7, and in our own family DB and I were always made to send thank yous.

Since then, the 9-year-old sent me a one-line email literally saying 'thank you for my present' (no mention even of what it was), the 7-year-old sent a lovely email, and I'm still waiting to hear from the 11-year-old, who I sent a book voucher for her birthday in June. I mentioned it to DB a couple of months ago but he said they hadn't had time to go to the bookshop (!).

I feel I'm not prepared to keep spending my time and money buying presents when I don't even get an acknowledgement. Would it be unreasonable to write to my brother at some point and say that if I haven't heard by April or so then I'll just be sending a card for her next birthday?

Ah see I don't do posted presents! My sister is in Manilla so I buy and wrap gift from her to DD and then she does the same at her end. We do Skype and that's when I get a thank you.

Bogey...I still write thank you letters/cards.

I think that if my auntie said those things about gifts to my mother or father I honestly wouldn't want her presents!

I don't mean to be nasty but it's Christmas - we always send thank yous but never at Christmas, usually it's a passing "oh, thank you for such and such, I/we loved it" but I don't expect all of my nieces and nephews to thank me like I'm some overly generous auntie - my godmother sent me 2 gifts a year for 20 years, I'd always try to thank at birthdays but it would have taken me my entire Christmas hols to thank everyone for those gifts!

You do not give to receive (even if its just a thank you note!)

Scuttle - teenagers don't akwaysvget it right. Cut him some slack for a few years, he may well improve!