To not want to call inlaws 'mum' and 'dad'

[lazycoconutree]

that's it really...
I don't have the best relationship with inlaws but it's not too bad either.
But I won't call mil mum, she isn't my mum and I feel only my mum deserves that title! Ditto with my dad....!
So I'm wondering what everyone out there calls their inlays?

Enfyshedd My DP is a year younger than DM.. Somehow I think they will stick to first names too

There should be a new name made up for pils. Like "milly" and "phil".

I don't have a Milly, but my Phil, is quite a nice man. I wouldn't call him Dad though, Phil is just fine.

First name terms for me. Strangely my SIL calls her FIL Mr x while my dh and I and my other SIL and her husband call him by his first name.

I get birthday cards from 'Mum & Dad (Initial of Surname)'

It makes me feel sick.

If they outlive my parents and do that I will send them back with instructions where they can put them.

"You must have cause at some point to address them."

No, I really don´t.

When MIL phones I just ask how she is, make small talk & hand phone over.

When we see each other we talk to each other-no need to be saying each others names!

I call mine (technically not quite PIL as still unmarried) by their first names, it would feel wierd (and a bit over familiar) to call them Mum & Dad - besides, they aren't my Mum and Dad...
They sign cards etc to me with their first names.
Alls good.

"I think if the in-laws are from a generation where it is normal then I do think it would be respecrful."

I don´t see why you have to do what they want, just because they´re older.

I´m not their daughter, they haven´t brought me up.

I´m an adult, & that´s my relationship with them.

Not a parent/child one.

I've never called dp's parents anything in 30 years. Once I needed mil who was upstairs and realising I didn't know what to call her went up and spoke to her face to face. On birthday cards to me they say To Lee from

They are putting you in an unequal relationship when you are meeting them as adult to adult.

My Dad called his ILs Mam and Dad, he adored his MIL. My mother called hers Mrs J and Pete. I called mine by their first names to begin with, then I called them what the DC called them - Mamgu and Dadcu (Welsh).

Is it a regional or a class thing, I wonder? I've never come across it, but was not brought up in the UK so the subleties of British social etiquette sometimes pass me by.

I've never called dp's parents anything in 30 years - I am amazed you can avoid usuing someone's name to their face in 30 years .

I called my MIL (now deceased) by her first name, as does my DH when talking to my parents.

My parents are always meticulous when signing cards to all three of us
eg: Mum & dad/name & name/Grandma & Grandpa - need to send large cards

My ILs wanted me to call them Mum and Dad. We compromised on 'Mum and Dad DHssurname', as I just can't bring myself to do it.