half siblings, do they still exist?

[FlojoHoHoHo]

Took my DCs to a music group this morning. DS dad usually takes DS but FIL died so I took him along with DD. Music lady said ah this is your half sister, what's your half sister called etc. DS DS knows they have different dads but has never heard the term half before. On the third time she said it, I firmly said "its sister, we use the term sister".
AIBU to find the term half sister uncomfortable? As far as I'm concerned they are brother and sister, end of.

I quite often have pupils at school telling me about their half-siblings (not that I ask but the topic sometimes comes up). The ones who live in the same house as the new sibling call them brother/sister, and the ones who generally don't live in the same house tend to call them half brother/half sister. That seems to be the way most people on here say it works too.

Technically my 2 dds are half sisters but I don't think anybody has ever mentioned it to either of them. Dd1 once read a book with some half-sisters in and asked if dd2 is really her half-sister, but that was more of a fact checking mission than a cause for concern iyswim. I don't know if she would have been more concerned if she saw her dad but shedoesn't. She treats dp as her dad and he treats her as his own, so she would never consider any of us to be 'half' of anything.

IMo it will make the children uncomfortable if the parents react like its an insult whenever someone says it

I think it's just a factual term. There should be no offence taken although I wouldn't labour the point with others like the music teacher seemed to.

Someone said up thread that they are lesser siblings, well biologically that is true. If people are ashamed of that, that is their issue.

My DSs have half sisters but we refer to them as sisters in everyday life. They know that they are factually half sisters but consider them just as sisters. It is more complicated that the half sisters have other half siblings through DH's ex, but my kids get on with them and can't work out that they're not related!!

I don't like people saying that because you don't live in the same house it's OK to call them a 'half sibling'.... This still doesn't reflect sibling relationships with age gaps so I live in my own home and have done for years. My (half) sister lives at home with my mum and step-dad. She's still very much my sister.

And just because you are you're child's mother it doesn't mean that their sibling from another mother is referred to as half. It's rude and unnecessary.

Let the siblings themselves define it.

Well I disagree orangelily - my exP's child by another woman is my DS's half brother. I'm not being rude, simply factual - he has nothing to do with me biologically or actually, and that's what he is

Obviously factually that is true but it doesn't need to be said in such a way. It complicates things unnecessarily due to adult relationships!

It stands because it is a legal term.

I would be very offended if someone described my siblings as half siblings and I think the music teacher was wrong to do so.

I have a half brother who is older and from my dads first marriage and a younger brother. Although i share both parents with my younger brother i consider them both my brothers.

I wouldn't be offended by someone calling my older brother my half brother but i also don't point it out unless I'm asked

Most people I know don't differentiate between brother/half brother etc but I guess it is a personal choice and depends on lots of different factors including how close you are to them.

I have just realised that when I was younger I referred to my dad's children from a previous marriage as my brothers. However now we are all grown up and I don't have contact with them any more I say they are my half brothers. The term seems to have changed as the dynamic changed. I never thought about it before.

so far, my 4 and 2 year olds have never heard the term.

It's a valid term. Half and step sibling are both very helpful terms in an age where families are blended as they are now.

Fair enough Op you don't like the term but I doubt the teacher was intending to be offensive,rather was trying to work out the family dynamics.

YANBU, all my siblings are 'half' siblings but we grew up together and they are my SISTERS. I would be hugely offended for someone to specify otherwise unless they were following my lead, it is rude.

I have got two adult half sisters who I have never lived with, I tend to refer to them either as my sisters or don't refer to them at all. If I am asked I tend to say I am an only child as that is how it was when I was growing up, but if I am discussing them I can't be bothered with "half" so I just say sister, but it always feels odd as they don't feel like sisters - half or otherwise.
My DCs are half siblings but it's nonsense IMO, they don't refer to each other as such and neither do I.

My dd and ds are half siblings but I would never ever refer to them as such, they have always lived together and have always been part of te same family.

Now for the complicated part, dd has 4 other brothers and a sister (not counting my ds) and they are classed as her brothers and sister in her eyes and she knows and loves them. Ds on the other hand has 2 other sisters and a brother, he's only ever met the brother once when he was a baby so in my eyes they are half siblings and not even that as he doesn't know them but in telling him about them I refer to them as his dads other dc and half siblings.

I don't think YABU, but can understand both sides. DP has a half-sister he lived with (until he moved out a few years ago) at his Mum's house and he calls her his sister, whereas he will call his three siblings at his Dad's house (half-siblings again) his half-brother's and half-sister as he doesn't really have much of a relationship with them. Depends on the family I suppose!

Agree it sounds that a point is being made, especially when it is said repeatedly to a child. As someone who doesn't have a blended family at any generation (so no special interest) I'd never use the term in general conversation because of the potential for offence. Hell I even refer to my second and third cousins as 'cousins'. Get me playing fast and loose with legal terms!

IMO its always depended on the family, it not that they existed and now don't.
There is a family story I was always told as a kid about my Dads granddad (remarried after his first wife died). When my Grandad's sister once refered to him as her "half-brother" to someone he went absolutely ballistic because half or full or step it didnt matter you were family and that was that. My half brother (same mum) is my brother and thats that, and thats how it was for everyone despite what you would expect from an upright and proper catholic family. I only found out as an adult that my cousin was techically my step-cousin.

actually that's exactly what I'd expect from an old fashioned catholic family! lots of people only finding out as adults that their sibling is their aunt or half sibling etc.. because ever saying it was considered SOOOO shameful! Luckily we've moved on and can say "this is my half sister" if we want!

Dunno - I have a half sister - she IS a half sister. I was brought up an only child. She was born when I was 25 years old so we have no common mother, no common history, no common religion, or background (except our df) and no common generation either.

She's just started university - I graduated in 1990.

She's a half sister. I think of myself as a kindly aunt to her really.

I don't think it's rude. I grew up without her in my informative years. I also grew up in a very different culture to her culture. I'm sure she feels the same. She has half brothers and sisters (quite a few) on her mum's side and she may feel differently about them (as I think they are younger than me).

Doesn't mean I don't have feelings for her. I have no idea what it is to grow up with a brother or sister, because I didn't grow up with a sibling.

But she is my half sister and I'm very proud of her, all the same.

However people refer to themselves in their own families is up to them. It's a much better bet for someone outside the family to not use the word half. They are never going to cause upset by using the words brother or sister but are far more likely to annoy someone by referring to their children as half siblings, so why take the chance.

YABU. It is not an offensive term unless you are embarrassed they have different dads it shouldn't be a problem. Just because someone is a half-sibling it doesn't mean they can't still think the world of each other.

My sister and I are half-sisters, but we're not, we are just sisters. We have different fathers but it makes no difference. My boys have a different mother to DH's eldest but they brothers. They know this but they're not half of anything, they are brothers.