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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's a bit odd that colleague isn't buying his DD Christmas presents?

158 replies

PurpleTinsel · 11/12/2012 11:58

I have a colleague who's first baby (a DD) was born about 6 months ago.

This will be her first Christmas. We were talking about Christmas yesterday, and colleague said that he and his DP are not buying their DD any Christmas presents at all because she's too young to appreciate Christmas.

I can understand not making a big deal about Christmas for a baby - but the idea that they're buying no Christmas presents for her at all, not even one small inexpensive present, surprised me.

Colleague is well paid and his family celebrate Christmas.

AIBU to think that this is odd behaviour?

OP posts:
Rudolphstolemycarrots · 15/12/2012 13:20

well the baby will probably be getting some gifts from other people. I think its nice to keep things low key while you can.

ImperialBlether · 15/12/2012 13:28

Am I the only person to buy my children Christmas presents when I was pregnant, then?

And for those of you who wouldn't buy a baby a present on the basis that he/she wouldn't notice, wouldn't you buy anything for an elderly relative who was suffering from dementia?

prettybird · 15/12/2012 13:47

For my own mother last year, I bought her something much smaller than I would normally have bought her, as she really didn't care (type of brain damage she had meant that she got no pleasure from anything). Xmas Sad

(Got her a bear from the bear factory with ds saying "I love you Granny" and a Father Christmas outfit - she barely reacted - yet she used to love Christmas).

But I really don't think it is the same thing. It's up to individuals to give because they want to. And if their child wants for nothing and is not even going to be aware that they did or didn't get them a present, it's totally reasonable for them not to get presents for their baby if they don't feel the need to. By the same token, if it's going to give the parents pleasure to say "that's what we got for dc's 1st Christmas" - then that's OK too.

TreadOnTheCracks · 15/12/2012 13:50

D's was due before Christmas , came slightly after and had loads of presents and a stocking!

ImperialBlether · 15/12/2012 13:56

It's so much fun buying little things for a new baby, too. Why deny yourself this fun if you can afford it?

scrivette · 15/12/2012 14:05

It's my 18 month olds second Christmas and I am only wrapping up a new toothbrush and a satsuma for his stocking. They are his favourite things and he will get lots from others and is too young to know or care!

SantaWearsGreen · 15/12/2012 14:07

Yanbu

At least buy a first Christmas bear so the baby gets SOMETHING. Sure they don't understand, they don't understand until they are 3/4 so should you not buy for them until then? Same for birthdays? Bah humbug! They should at least get something to remember their first Christmas by...

I didn't get ours much for their first Christmases (Dc1 was 9 months, Dc2 6 months and dc3 is 4 months) but I got them a first Christmas bear, few books and a couple of toys which they all still have and love! Not like we just went mad and all the stuff didn't go to use.. I can't imagine just buying nothing, it feels odd.

Whistlingwaves · 15/12/2012 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickelbabylyinginamanger · 15/12/2012 14:15

makes sense to me.

DD is only 1 year and we have bought her the christmas eve pyjamas and that's it.

She has got a couple of presents from the real santa (aka MN Secret Santa), and lots of presents from relatives.
she won't know who bought what, so it really doesn't matter.

as long as we thank everyone for the presents, then it's all good.

nickelbabylyinginamanger · 15/12/2012 14:17

oh, yeah, she was 13 days old last christmas and we didn't buy anything at all for her.

we only just managed to sort out our own stockings!
and she'd just had sooooo many presents for being born...

HollaAtMeSanta · 15/12/2012 14:36

YABU and precious! Babies don't know the difference. Save the money to spend on them later on, when they'll appreciate it. Your colleague is sensible.

Skiffen · 15/12/2012 14:50

Yabu, even now dds are 3 and 1 I buy them very little for christmas or birthdays. In fact dd1 got nothing material for her birthday as we paid for a party instead. I do buy a dated personalised tree decorarion for them each year though.

I personally think there are decades of them wanting things, christmas lists and serious financial outlay - it is sensible to wait until they are more aware of things.

prettybird · 15/12/2012 14:51

FWIW - I don;t'think we got anything for ds' first birthday either Xmas Grin

I did however bake us him a cake and there is a lovely photo of him and me blowing out the candle with a nice glass of bubbly in the foreground

Certainly don't consider ds to be deprived!

fuckwittery · 15/12/2012 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummytokdj · 15/12/2012 15:33

IMO birthday/christmas presents for any aged arent ment to be "needed" things, there things that a parent should be buying if there needed at the time, christmas and birthdays presents are about getting what you want and spoilt rotten!!

Childhoods such a short time they should treasure there christmas memories

prettybird · 15/12/2012 15:40

What memories, age 4 months? Xmas Confused

mummytokdj · 15/12/2012 15:47

In pictures surely all parent like myself take picutres of dc sitting with there pile of presents. Could imagine not buying my 3 dc nothing for a birthday or christmas even though they may not need.

Imo its a wee shame a child if any age not getting toys at this time of year

BackforGood · 15/12/2012 15:48

Agree with so many - your colleague sounds the sensible one. Our first dc was 6 months at Christmas, and inundated with more than he could possibly need from Grandparents etc. Our money was better put on one side for the years ahead.

exoticfruits · 15/12/2012 17:39

I can't imagine the older DC looking back and saying 'where were my presents' -if they do you could just lie-they won't know!!!
If it ever came up-which I can't for the life of me think why it would-you just tell them that there was no point and the money is in their account. (they will most likely be pleased to have sensible parents and a nest egg)

mummytokdj · 15/12/2012 17:51

Id say different read so many posts on here from those who had christmas with no presents as children and none of them were happy.

And a nest egg is great but i would do both imo no presents is just so sad, our youngest is 10 months needed nothing and yet has a massive pile from us not to mention family and she gets so excited looking at them

exoticfruits · 15/12/2012 17:56

Good grief-it is a small baby!! They are not going to be complaining that their life was blighted by not getting a Christmas present from parents! Of course you are not happy if you know that you have no presents. All mine loved Christmas as babies, but the empty wrapping paper was the most fun.

exoticfruits · 15/12/2012 17:56

They were also incapable of opening the presents anyway!

Tigresswoods · 15/12/2012 17:57

All we got DS for his 1st Christmas was some nice books he could keep forever, we wrote a little message in the front to commemorate his 1st Christmas. I think they're quite sensible.

SauvignonBlanche · 15/12/2012 18:04

I didn't buy DS1 anything for his first Christmas, as I have a large doting family who I knew would buy too much.
I only bought DD something for hers as DS would have expected it.

yahnyinlondon · 15/12/2012 18:50

My DD will be 5 months - I ended up using the poem off Mumsnet -- something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. Have bought her loads. Two outfits, some sockons, a little miss book set, the Australian Womens Weekly birthday cake books, a highchair and spoons etc, about 5 or 6 inexpensive interactive type toys for 6 - 12 months.

To be fair, I would have bought those things anyway and I haven't bought a single toy for her as we were given a big bag of baby toys plus loads of soft toys for her birth. Our families are both in Australia and they will just give us money or maybe send something small so it will just be us.