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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's a bit odd that colleague isn't buying his DD Christmas presents?

158 replies

PurpleTinsel · 11/12/2012 11:58

I have a colleague who's first baby (a DD) was born about 6 months ago.

This will be her first Christmas. We were talking about Christmas yesterday, and colleague said that he and his DP are not buying their DD any Christmas presents at all because she's too young to appreciate Christmas.

I can understand not making a big deal about Christmas for a baby - but the idea that they're buying no Christmas presents for her at all, not even one small inexpensive present, surprised me.

Colleague is well paid and his family celebrate Christmas.

AIBU to think that this is odd behaviour?

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 11/12/2012 18:27

Yabu.

It's ok to do it even if I personally think its a bit weird. It's also ok not to.

SoldeInvierno · 11/12/2012 18:28

DS was 6 months for his first Christmas and I didn't get him anything. I know some people found it strange, but what difference would it have made to him. He had everything he needed.

StinkyWicket · 11/12/2012 18:31

We've not got our one year old anything, and we didn't get our twins a present for their first birthday

They have all been spoiled rotten by friends and family. Had none of the family been buying for them then we would have got them a couple of bits.

IneedAsockamnesty · 11/12/2012 18:35

Are 3 month olds supposed to go in door bouncer thingies?

JenaiMathis · 11/12/2012 18:42

Once they can support their heads is fine iirc. It's good for vestibular development apparently.

mrsEbruce · 11/12/2012 18:55

What a mean thing to do its christmas who cares if they appreciate it or remember it thats so miserable all to save money there 1st birthday and christmas is a BIG deal and should be treated as such!! IMO

IneedAsockamnesty · 11/12/2012 19:02

Thats good to know. I have one that I was going to give to a friend but couldn't remember how old the baby had to be. I can now give it knowing I'm not being premature

prettybird · 11/12/2012 19:03

We still did plenty to celebrate ds' first Christmas even if we personally didn't get him a present: he wore a lovely wee Christmas outfit and we've got lots of lovely photos. One especially precious one is of him with his grandmother, who died prematurely earlier this year.

He was still being EBF, so spent most of the time on my boob! Xmas Grin

mummysmellsofsick · 11/12/2012 19:03

Yabu I'm not buying my 1 year old anything. We have so much stuff already. He'll just be happy to see all his grandparents and aunties and uncles

carovioletfizz · 11/12/2012 19:16

YANBU, our ds was born 3 weeks before xmas and we got him gifts....seems a little bit mean spirited not to.

legopiecemeetbarefeet · 11/12/2012 19:19

but at 6 months they are just making the transition from laying around not doing much but growing, to becoming interested in moving and sitting and walking...

surely developmental toys are appropriate... even ones she will grow into?
Maybe not the whole santa kaboodle, but a present. definately

MamaBear17 · 11/12/2012 19:23

My dd was 5 1/2 months at Christmas last year. People asked us what they could buy for her and I said that they did not have to get her anything but if they wanted to we would appreciate clothes. My MIL told me I was being unreasonable and should write a list of toys that people could choose from. I looked at toys for 0-1 and, to be honest, she had already got enough suitable toys for her age. I stuck to my guns. I bought her a Jumperoo but gave it to her at the beginning of December because she was ready for it. We wrapped up clothes and books. I'm really glad we didn't go crazy on gifts because, now that she is older, we are able to see her really enjoy new toys and presents. I couldn't have not bought her anything but I understand why people do not bother when babies are really little.

KelleStarOfWonder · 11/12/2012 19:31

YABU my DD was a week old on her first christmas and both sets of GP's were horrified that we hadn't bought her anything... apart from all the baby stuff/clothes we bought in preparation, we were pretty sorted tbh. At that age they really won't get it and if family are buying small gifts, it's enough.

As we didn't find out the sex until she arrived and she was a delicate 5lb 13oz, even then people went out and bought really lovely girly stuff suitable for winter wear in 3-6 month for her to grow into, which is still in the attic as she never grew into the 3-6 month stuff until May :)

catgirl1976geesealaying · 11/12/2012 19:34

I'm not buying my DS anything

It's his 2nd Christmas. He's 13 months old and he doesn't need anything.

willowstar · 11/12/2012 19:38

We didn't buy ant
Ything for the first Xmas either. I am only buying something for my 10 month old baby this year because my 3 yr old would question it of I didn't.

MissChristmastRee · 11/12/2012 19:38

DD's first birthday is 3 weeks after Christmas and we've only bought her a couple of token very small gifts. She will be more interested in the wrapping paper and wanted to make a fuss of DSS as his first Chrustmas as a big brother and one of the last where he still believes in FC!

willowstar · 11/12/2012 19:39

But we don't do Christmas in a big way, no extended family around, very little spare cash etc...

Arisbottle · 11/12/2012 19:43

I can't even remember if we bought our children presents as babies, probably not .

I am quite willing to accept that I have my priorities wrong as I buy a present for the dog every year but can't remember when I last bought something for DH.

MerylStrop · 11/12/2012 19:54

She will neither know nor care

We didn't buy anything for DS1, he had loads from mad other people. DD and DS2 got old toys wrapped up and nappies/babygros purely to pander to their elder siblings sense of what was right and proper

mrsshackleton · 14/12/2012 20:37

Your colleague sounds very sensible

peaceandlovebunny · 14/12/2012 21:54

i think i spent about £20-£25 on daughter's first christmas. she was 6mo and it was 1982. she didn't get much at all. the year after, we went crazy and got her everything!

exoticfruits · 14/12/2012 22:11

It sounds very sensible to me. She can see the lights, decorations etc, play with the paper and have everyone's time and attention- no doubt someone will give her a present but it won't mean anything. More sensible to put the money in a fund for her.

Dominodonkey · 14/12/2012 22:29

YANBU. I think it's weird. Those you are saying they wouldn't/didn't buy anything, would you be ok if none of your family or friends bought them anything until they were 2 or 3 either (since they just need love etc)

exoticfruits · 14/12/2012 22:57

It is completely up to the friends and family. Putting it into a fund would be more sensible - I would guess on hindsight they would much rather have a pot for university, buying a car etc than unnecessary toys when they were too young to understand.

blonderthanred · 15/12/2012 11:50

It seems Lucy Mangan isn't getting hers anything either.