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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have filmed my ds1s preschool nativity play even though

282 replies

Nooneelseisallowedafergus · 08/12/2012 13:58

We were expressly told no filming.

I did zoom in on just him ( as much as was possible ) and only filmed a few short clips, not the whole event.

I felt I would have really regretted not having captured the memory, and my son loves watching himself on film, and has already enjoyed watching the clips and singing along to the songs.

And I just don't see how a video of fully clothed children would be satisfying viewing for a peadophile. With this vein of thought surely we should start making our children wear burkas.

OP posts:
WorraLorraTurkey · 08/12/2012 16:52

Oh and I should add, I'm only aware because I'm the Vice CoG.

But either way there are kid's whose parents can't get off work for the main performance so they attend the school one.

SugaricePlumFairy · 08/12/2012 16:55

MeToo

You sound like you're revelling in being a selfish entitled Proud Mummy

Will you too raise your child to feel they can do as they please at school.

TravelinColour · 08/12/2012 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doinmummy · 08/12/2012 17:01

I didn't feel these reasons were sufficient for me not to have a record of my child's performance

How entitled are you ?

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2012 17:05

'Tried to be discreet'

ilovesooty · 08/12/2012 17:24

I didn't feel these reasons were sufficient for me not to have a record of my child's performance

I doubt if your sense of entitlement would have seen any reason as valid. Your statements indicate a complete lack of consideration or decency.

Viviennemary · 08/12/2012 17:32

YABU. If the school asked you not to film it why did you film it. But on the other hand if all the parents agree that it's OK to film then why not.

NannyEggn0gg · 08/12/2012 17:38

Schools really don't stand a chance these days, do they?

LaurieBlueBell · 08/12/2012 17:40

MeToo

All of the above

NannyEggn0gg · 08/12/2012 17:41

MeToo2
Apt name.
Can you read? Do you now see that 'social pressure' has nothing to do with it?

manicinsomniac · 08/12/2012 17:44

Worra - do you know what would happen if a no-photos child was talented enough to have a lead part? Would they still have to be chorus so that the main show could go on without them? Or would there be an understudy?

Not meaning to be hostile to you, I know it's not your rule. It just seems so mean.

festivelyfocussed · 08/12/2012 17:47

Yes YWBU
Of course.
You broke a rule that is in place for the protection of children. It is not your business to decide that this rule is unnecessary. Ppl with responsibility for such matters have made a ruling to safeguard the children in that school. I can't imagine why you would think it's reonable to flout that.

YoucanringmySleighBells · 08/12/2012 17:48

I am estranged from my family due to abuse issues. I would be devastated if they found out which school my dd went to.
Sorry YABU

MrsCampbellBlack · 08/12/2012 17:52

Its amazing that people used to be able to watch their children do stuff and enjoy the moment and remember it. Why does everything nowadays have to be filmed/photographed? I just don't get it. People spend so much time filming they don't enjoy the moment.

And that's before all the obvious child protection stuff and how bloody annoying it is to have an iphone waving in front of you.

So OP you were most unreasonable.

RubyGates · 08/12/2012 17:58

I hate the parents that insist on doing this, I haven't seen my son in his Christmas play that he was so excites about because of the forest of waving arms. It's so annoying and entitled. What makes you and your child more important than me and my child?

Strangely, a link form the Beeb, says it's not illegal.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11945081

MissCellania · 08/12/2012 18:14

I don't really understand the child protection point. If I film, focusing on my child (not that I do, but still), and capture a blurry image of an at risk child, how can that be found by anyone, exactly? By what mechanism is that a danger to anyone else, whether its on my phone or on my facebook? And I mean, how exactly not a vague how very dare you endanger children but I'm not sure how exactly.

It's a very British thing. No bans where I am, no-one seems to be bothered by it at all. And I've never read a school play filming leads to horrible tragedy headline yet.

valiumredhead · 08/12/2012 18:15

Its the risk of estranged parents finding their children though facebook etc.Its a very real danger to some families

That

SauvignonBlanche · 08/12/2012 18:18

Does there have to be a horrible tragedy headline before people stop being so selfish?

ChippingInAWinterWonderland · 08/12/2012 18:21

There is NO risk if you keep the short snippets of film for your viewing only and do not show friends or put it on the net - absolutely no risk to any other child

valiumredhead · 08/12/2012 18:25

There is very little risk, not absolutely no risk.

MissCellania · 08/12/2012 18:25

Well there has to be an actual reason to tell people not to, rather just a random notion.

Acekicker · 08/12/2012 18:38

The reasons given for them not wanting photos/video had absolutely nothing to do with child protection. Namely, it was that some children get upset/nervous about it and it can get in the way of other parents seeing performance. I didn't feel these reasons were sufficient for me not to have a record of my child's performance.

So if they'd stood up and said "because Robbie is living in a refuge because his dad tried to kill his mum and it is vital that he doesn't find them again" you would have been ok with it? Did it even occur to you that the school might have very good reasons not to want it recorded/photographed but they weren't the sort of reasons they could give out?

Picturesinthefirelight · 08/12/2012 18:44

YABVU

Aside from any child protection issues there are also copyright issues.

If a school has used a bought in nativity which many do especially if none of the teachers are good at music or scriptwriting or simply don't have the time you have to pay for the video rights

You have to send in a form saying how many videos have been produced regardless of whether they were sold or not and pay accordingly.

quoteunquote · 08/12/2012 18:46

A friend of ours who fosters, had the two children that she and her husband have had for years, removed from their care and sent else where because it came out that someone had filmed a school event with them in it, and it had been shared.

It was devastating for those children, and heart breaking for the family.

the school had said no filming then allowed some parent to film, the clips were shared, foster mother was horrified it had happened, deputy head thought she was making a unnecessary fuss, and allowed filming.

Some children are at risk, to put them in danger for a few photos or a clip, is horrid.

flowerytaleofNewYork · 08/12/2012 18:54

Ooh does being a "proud mummy" entitle me to do whatever I like now?

Leaving aside the very important child protection issues, parents who teach children by example that rules only apply to them if they agree with them are other parents' and teachers' worst nightmare.