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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that telling 8-year-olds that Santa isn't real isn't a crime?

87 replies

hb84 · 07/12/2012 21:04

I just read about a primary school teacher in Dorset who is being vilified by parents and heavily criticised by his boss (who I personally think should stick up for him in this case) because he told a class of 8-year-olds that Santa Claus is not real. This was after a child in the class asked, so obviously there was already some doubt among the kids. I just can't understand why people are getting so outraged about it. Should he have lied about it? Why do children need to believe this? Also, do they really need to believe it past 8 years old?
Even as a small child I knew that Father Christmas was my dad. He would excuse himself, go outside and come back a couple of minutes later wearing a Santa hat and glasses (he had a beard already so didn't need to fake it) but I knew it was him. It didn't make Christmas any less special for my sisters or me, and meant that we still love Christmas now, even as adults. I get the same feeling now as I did when I was little, and it's to do with being at home with my family, giving and receiving presents and stuffing my face with delicious food.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 07/12/2012 23:11

See my mum and dad always came up with really cryptic answers to the direct question ' is FC real?'. I swear, if I asked mum today if he was, she would answer the same thing, ' FC only comes to people who believe'. Love my mum.

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 07/12/2012 23:13

It wasn't his place to break the news to young year 3 or 4 students. He didn't need to lie, he could have told the children to 'ask your parents' and not answered the question at all. Or he could have joked' yes well I've been a good boy all year so will be sad if he doesn't visit my house'. I have a bright boy with a vivid imagination who still believes. We love keeping the magic alive. I'd like him to find out in his own time.

scrumpkin · 07/12/2012 23:14

I'd be fucking livid Angry

imtheonlyone · 07/12/2012 23:27

I'd be livid too - no way is it the teachers place to say something like that to a child Shock - my DS is nearly 8 and he still firmly believes - its the magic for them and I happen to think its just what makes Christmas so special Smile! At Easter the 'Easter Bunny' came whilst they were downstairs eating their breakfasts and left eggs for them to find in their bedrooms! He still marvels now about how the Easter bunny entered our house and did that without any of us seeing him!!! I mean come on .... It's fun! It's what having kids is about .... It's magic!!!! If a teacher took that away I'm afraid I wouldn't be responsible for my actions Wink!!!!

Zavi · 07/12/2012 23:28

I tell my DC that I am NOT Santa (true) and that Santa only comes to children who believe in him!
Ergo, if DC gets presents from Santa he must be real!
I expect my DC to "believe" in Santa life-long. What's not to believe!
I love giving from Santa and will continue to do so!

Onebadbackandalostpelvicfloor · 07/12/2012 23:29

I'd be angry. 8 year olds are usually at their last Christmas of believing, leave them to that one last Christmas! They'll have their bubble popped in year 5 or 6 through playground gossip.

Not the teachers place at all to say anything

edwinbear · 07/12/2012 23:35

zavi it's because i have a mum like you that i have never, at 37, ever experienced that sudden feeling of disappointment that FC doesn't exist.....i still hang my stocking up at mum's on xmas eve and it is still magically filled by the morning.....

shesariver · 07/12/2012 23:54

Of course an 8 year old can still believe - my 10 year old does! All these holier than thou parents "I wont lie to my children" really do my head in...its a little bit of magic before children grow up, I wish Santa was real because at 42 I love to believe in him! So no its not a crime but its really not a teachers place at all to do this thats all. But the world is full of misery guts just waiting to suck the pleasure out of everything.

Zavi · 08/12/2012 02:21

Edwinbear, we share the same magic!

I feel so happy to know there is someone else out there just like me !

squoosh · 08/12/2012 02:57

I know loads of 8 year olds who still believe in Santa. The teacher had no buisness breaking the truth to these kids. Probably some yawnsome shite about not lying to children.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/12/2012 03:09

In shock news, teacher tells the truth.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 08/12/2012 03:31

I would be very angry if my dd's teacher told her father Christmas wasn't real. She was 8 in oct and still firmly believes in all things magical. She's a sensitive little girl and would be really upset if she thought santa wasn't real.

It's not a crime to tell them the truth, no. But you would think that a teacher would have the sense to bypass this question and let the parents deal with it!

Strawhatpirate · 08/12/2012 03:39

The teacher could have just spoken to the one doubter imstead of the whole class and I'm suprised they'd want to get involved with that kind of thing in the first place.
I bet the parents are Xmas Angry

MrsMushroom · 08/12/2012 04:15

My 8 year old believes and its not her teachers job to discuss it with her. if she asked a question that's different.

kotinka · 08/12/2012 04:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LondonKitty · 08/12/2012 04:44

Oh I would be furious.

And what sort of twaddle is it to say you can't 'lie' (seriously?!) to a child about something that gives such pleasure and magic to childhood. Xmas Hmm

And anyway, of course he's real. What's this all about???? Xmas Shock

differentnameforthis · 08/12/2012 05:12

He shouldn't have to lie, no, but what about being diplomatic about it?

My 9yr still believes. When she asks, I say "what do you think" and let her form her own opinion. I am pretty sure I don't have long until she figures it out though, but until such a time, it is up to no one else to tell her different.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/12/2012 05:30

I'm genuinely baffled about this. People seem to have less of a problem with me telling their children I don't believe in God and he doesn't exist than Santa. You do all know he is imaginary, don't you?

In other news, some 8, 9 and 10 year olds lie to their parents because they think the presents might stop.

Goldenjubilee10 · 08/12/2012 05:56

What if the child had asked if they were fat/ugly/smelly and they were? Should the teacher have told the whole class the truth or changed the subject and dealt with the child later? I would have been furious.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts · 08/12/2012 06:26

"I'm genuinely baffled about this."

Really? Surely childhood is the one legitimate time when we are allowed to believe any crazy thing we want from Santa to fairies to something dreadful happening if we step on the cracks in the pavement? Stretch our imaginations the way we can't once we're old enough to know the prosaic truth? It could be argued that childhood finishes when we stop thinking the magician's assistant really has disappeared .... and when we start wondering about the mechanics of the illusion. Childhood is short enough. It's a shame to curtail it.

kotinka · 08/12/2012 06:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 08/12/2012 06:53

How is being told about Santa stretching the imagination? This isn't stuff that children make up. In some ways the only imagination that's being stretched is the parent's in making up more and more elaborate stories to persuade their children about this particular fantasy.

But I'm totally bar humbug about the FC whole thing having had wonderful Christmases with my family (even as an adult!) for many years with no FC at all. I was the parent who was irritated at all the teachers, other parents and indeed completely random adults telling my children Santa rubbish whilst at the same time having to impress upon them that of course they mustn't say anything themselves because it might upset other people ever so.

I don't recall all the who ha about Santa when I was growing up.

I wonder if the teacher was asked if Santa was real of if they themselves believe that Santa is real. Eight year olds can be quite challenging/persistent after all.

Rosa · 08/12/2012 07:00

As every family is different it is up to the parents to decide . The teacher could have easily replied 'well you decide what you think and talk to mum and dad' now lets get on with maths, art or whatever. FGS they must get loads of questions that they have to deal with 'tactfully' this can surely be added to the list. I would not be impressed btw.

TheHumancatapult · 08/12/2012 07:02

I would be furious my year 3 child is very very naive and innocent and believes whole hearted in FC

Can't win first people say should not be believing age 8 then on other hand people moan dc age 8 are now ti grown up and the innocence has gone

exoticfruits · 08/12/2012 07:04

While I think that 8year old should have worked it out, and I would tell my own DC if they asked outright (if younger DCs were not about), I wouldn't as a teacher. I would stick to ' I believe in him' - which is true, I very much believe in DCs having the magic of FC.

I never know why people equate it with God, that is for the DC to make up their own mind about, and is personal- nothing to do with parents or teachers.