To be frustrated by the amount of time I am losing off work for maternity appointments?

[Hippolyta20]

Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon to be pregnant. I am a first time Mum and I want what is best for my baby and my family. The only thing is, why does that have to mean missing SO much time of work?!

I also think we are very lucky to have an NHS and am greatful that the staff are doing their best with little resources but seriously, where is the common sense?

When I was just 3 and a half weeks I asked my doctor I could take peppermint oil because I was a bit bloated. He thought I could have an eptopic pregnancy (no other symptoms, only hurt before needing the loo (sorry). Que a scan and blood tests every other day for a week (3 days off work). Tried to say I was fine and didn't think it was necessary but got told I needed to get my priorites right and didn't I care about my baby.

Then on Monday this week, went for anomoly scan. Appointments are half an hour but in the middle of the day so had to miss a full day off work. Baby didn't move enough to check everything but at half hour on the dot told that was my time up and would have to come back on Thursday so went back again. (Another day off).

Then yesterday they weren't sure if there was quite enough fluid (75mm compared to 85mm). Probably ok but not enough time to re-measure. This means have to go back again next week Wednesday. Will need to see the consultant afterwards so another full day.

Now I do care very much that everything is ok but is this not a bit daft? If the appointment could have been an hour, I would only have missed one day instead of (at least) three? There were also 2-3 nurses/midwifes/doctors at every appointment so is it really stretched resources?

Concerns are I guess:

• I am self employed so if I don't work I don't get paid! Have to provide for the baby as well as scan it!
• How much is this costing the economy?! If I was employed, my employer would have to have paid me 6 full days for doing nothing!
• How much is this putting people off employing women? If you had a man and a women apply for a job and they were equally as qualified would this not make you nervous about employing the women? Isn't this bad for us overall?

Am I the only one frustrated by this? The doctors reaction when I said I was worried about missing another day off work made me think everyone else is happy taking as much time off as possible? That can't be the case can it?

Sounds like you've been unlucky needing so many appts. For many people, they will have a GP appt at their own convenience, then 12 week scan, then 20 week scan, monthly appts thereafter, then pop, so perhaps 7 appts in total.

I always booked ahead so I got the earliest appts when possible, so could got to work afterwards by 10am or so. As I was booked in for a home birth the midwife appts happened at my house, usually on a Saturday morning. I reckon I missed perhaps 6hrs work time in total, per PG.

Of course if there are complications, then more care will be needed.

Your post has really annoyed me. You are being ungrateful, unreasonable and a bit stupid.

Well I think you do have a point OP - I had a pregnancy that involved lots of hospital visits, thankfully I was allocated a consultant whose clinic was on a day I didn't work so I didn't have to miss work but if I'd had to I would have not been very popular with my boss.

Yes, in an ideal world employers would be understanding and able to manage without an employee for extended time but reality just isn't like that.

And why is everyone assuming the OP can work in the waiting room without knowing what job she does (or did I miss that bit). Maybe she's a plumber or a fitness instructor - we don't all have white collar, take a PC to the doctors type jobs.

Isn't antenatal care optional? Don't go to the appointments if you don't want them, and let someone more grateful take your place.

I had IVF and was lucky enough to conceive twins. My hospital was fantastic - appointments at 830am or 5pm, and believe me I had a lot of them - scans every two weeks from 28 weeks onwards. I always found them to be very flexible.

I agree it's harsh to complain about thorough monitoring and care of you and your child.

Uncomplicated pregnancies involve lots less time off - I had one of these with DS. I had an appointment around the time of the nuchal scan - then the anomaly scan, then about once a month to 30 or so weeks, when it went up to fortnightly. I never had weekly appointments even at the end; I was very boring and predictable. With DD I had more scares and issues and went in more often - I can see it must be frustrating to not be able to earn money, but would you really wish the potential alternatives of either you or your baby being compromised in terms of life?

I have a team of about 40 people most of whom are women working for me. I'm very flexible/amenable about pg apps

I guess it depends what job you do but there are some where you can't just work after hours because you need other people/am office. I am a teacher so I couldn't teach my pupils in the evening instead!

I think the post is actually saying that the main concern is missing time off work and so struggling for money? That sounds kind of reasonable. I am a first time Mum and so worrying about finances.

Really shocked by some of the aggressive comments. Post says "care about baby but worrying about missing work and losing money".

Can you pick time of appointments? I just get allocated a time and can't change it unless book a different day.

Maybe if you explained the problems it is causing and how worried you are they might be able to give you an early/late one? - Think this is a bit of a postcode lottery by the sounds of it though.

OP not back? Nigel you have hit the nail I reckon!

Should you happen to be real OP, or even if you aren't. The level of care you are describing is fantastic.

It is all too easy for a women who has a straightforward pregnancy, a busy life and feels well, to be dismissive of NHS maternity and the fact that you cannot book an appointment for 8.30am and be on your way by 8.45.

Those of us who have had problems and needed more support and care for our own sakes and that of our babies have a rather different viewpoint.

HTH :)

I think you need to consider whether there's any way of organising the time better. Work is 1.5 hrs away, the hospital is 45 mins away. So to get to 4.5-5 hours you must be adding up going to work and back AND going to the hospital and back (3 hrs plus 1.5 hours). In which case, why the hell are you trundling to work, then (almost immediately) back out to the hospital, then back to work again, then back home? Is there really no better way of doing things than that?

I can't quite believe your post. I have had various problems and no one has given the tiniest sh*t. I would have been thrilled to have been offered a consultant appointment, or even have the standard treatment that seems to be available everywhere else. Instead I've had to pay to see someone privately, and rely on his letters to my GP to prompt essential treatment.

If you don't want the care, cancel the appointments and take the risk. Be grateful it is offered.

Wait til you actually have the baby! I have a one and a three year old and the amount of time I have spent at gp, hv, vaccinations, school and speech therapy appointments is really something! At one point I was having to take a morning off every week for nine weeks. Was very grateful for the therapy which I think has helped but my boss was not happy, especially seeing as I only work three days per week at the moment.

Consider it excellent preparation for the impact of a child on your work/life balance!

(Suspect op is wishing she hadn't started the thread!)

Sorry, I've just worked out the 4.5 hours doesn't include going back to work again. In which case, is there really nothing you can do from home in your job?

I've just found out my area is currently offering an independent midwifery service which is funded by the nhs. I think it's a pilot scheme for the country. They offer appointments with the same midwife from first to last postnatal appointment. They offer as many appointments as you need at your home, at any time that is convenient. (weekends and evenings included!). They also offer scans at their clinics instead of hospital so apparently no long waits. Also hypnobirthing classes etc All sounds too good to be true. Hopefully everywhere else will start rolling out a service like this and women will not be penalised in the work place for missing so much time off at inconvenient times.

www.onetoonemidwives.org/our-service

Get used to it now. When you actually have a child it gets much harder to juggle time.

Appointments for your child at the health visitor up to the age of 5. Dentist/Jab appointments.

When they start school and you have to have days off with no notice as they have d&v, hand, foot and mouth, chicken pox. When you get called at work to come and pick them up for the same reasons.

The pregnancy appointments are a breeze in comparison.

Having a child is a big commitment and your life changes. It starts now.

My experience is the opposite. I've found it very difficult to get them to take anything seriously. I think it sounds like you've had great antenatal care and you're lucky.

chrismissymoomoomee I'm so sorry

I agree, it is a case of your priorities. Once you are a parent you will find yourself losing plenty of days work due to child ill health, child care issues etc. Also consider your good fortune to not require regular appointments yourself for ongoing chronic health problems. And hope that your child is not born with a health problem which means constant appointments and hospital visits.

Yes, you are trying to do your best in a difficult economic context, but getting resentful about the medical care you are getting is not going to help you or your baby. It is not the doctors fault.

Headfirst - maybe it differs around the country but I never had HV appointments to age 5 with my children, routine jabs took about 20 mins each time (all during my ML so no work time lost )and I take them to the dentist with me at a time of my choosing.

I've never found any of these to be as difficult to fit in as the antenatal stuff where as a working woman I had no choice at all about the times either at the hospital or at my GPs where a shared midwive did a 1/2 day clinic once a week take it or leave it.

Might be worth looking at a different hospital - one between home and work, which would cut back on some of the travelling time.

I'm 28 weeks pregnant, DS was premature, because of this all my antenatal care is consultant led, which means regular appointments in hospital. Each time we're there for about 3 hours. We have an incredibly detailed growth scan, followed by a midwifery appointment to take bloods etc, then a consultant appointment. I'm self employed so I'm losing money (not a job where I can make up hours later) and DH needs to take the whole day off (If he went into work he'd just have to turn straight around to come back to take me to hospital, so not feasible)

I don't care. I'm so grateful to every single member of staff who plays a part in ensuring our baby is safe, and healthy in there. Days off work are inconvenient for me, DH and my clients - but when I have that baby in my arms, happy and as near to my due date as possible, it will all be worth it.

YABU - suck it up, it's for your benefit and that of your child.

I am self employed so if I don't work I don't get paid!

So you have the choice to work round standard hours?

I have to travel to work (about 1 1/2 hours each way)

move your office/get a laptop/use a smart phone

alternatively, go au naturale and have you baby out in the wilds with no medical intervention.

You don't have to have any antenatal care at all. But given the great, publicaly funded care you can get on the NHS, then it might be worth it. I guess if you paid to go private you could have more control over your appointment time.

Just wait until you have to have to have a month off work because your children get Chicken Pox 2 weeks apart, then tonsilitis, then bronchitis.