Is it so bad to ask someone to take off their shoes in your home?

[BlueVernis]

As huge row has broken out between my sister inlaw (SIL) and myself, after I asked her to take of her shoes when she came to my house!
She came over with a few other inlaws late one night as they were passing by. It was raining outside and we have carpet in our living room, which is quite new. Also, my kids like to play on the living room carpet.
My SIL came in and I asked her if she could take her shoes off. She told me that it was a hassle to take of her shoes. I just looked at her and said in a half joke-half serious way that I would have to get some kitchen roll and wipe her shoes then. Then I left her in the hallway and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
A few minutes later I heard her screaming at DH in the hallway, saying that I insulted her by not allowing her into my home and I have no right to ask her to take her shoes off as she is the older SIL. She rang my MIL and was going on and on that I had insulted her etc.
She then went outside, shouting and yelling (I'm sure the neighbours loved it!) and sat in the car and refused to come in.
I'm fuming with her behaviour as I don't think my request was wrong. I have been brought up to take off my shoes in other people's homes, and I even make my kids do the same, whether the house they go to are carpeted or laminated.
Was I being unreasonable?

SIL over reacted but insisting guests take off their shoes is so Mrs Bucket.

Ever since the kids were born we've alwys taken our shoes off in the house. When you have crawling babies/toddlers who put everything in their mouth the last thing you want is mud on the floor.

Now I do it automatically at other people's houses, and most people I know do the same. It's not a big deal!

I have nothing at all to complain about. I'm advocating manners and pleasant behaviour, not whining about having to show my hooves in public.

Once again, didn't insist.

Sorry blue but saying you would have to wipe her shoes is the same as insisting.

Actually I do wonder if insisting on shoes off is a class issue.

And some of us don't find it 'pleasant' to be asked to take our shoes off or to have other people wandering around our house in bare feet. Just because people don't agree with you MissC doesn't mean they're 'whining', 'looking for things to complain about' etc.

No... Wiping her shoes would have meant that I would have got the soggy leaves off and she could have worn them on the carpet. If it was a summers evening I wouldn't have asked.

The first rule of hospitality is to make your guests comfortable. This means that sometimes they will do things differently to you.

It is a bit Mrs Bucket, actually. Like keeping the plastic wrap on the sofa or getting out the best china everytime a neighbour pops in for a quick coffee.

It is completely Mrs Bucket

I would think its bonkers to trapse soggy crap all over someone else's carpet.
Now that's rude.

Don't you have a door mat?

Rather be a Ms bucket than waynetta slob though eh?
Thanks for all the common sense comments x

Or having a knitted doll to hide the loo roll.

It seems I'm meant to be the doormat if I expected to allow crap to be trodden into my carpet.
However, yes the hall is laminate with a sisal rug thing inside and out on the doorstep.

A leaf on the 100% laminate. Quelle horreur!

Here too shoes off. I have to say though I've let it go a few times now and my new wood floor has 3 chips already. Mil and sil once came to se new baby and traipsed all over the house on their heels.
I fumed and then made sure I returned the favour next time I went to their houses.

I think you need to re-read my original post. I have no issue with the laminate. That's the point of it being in the hall. The carpet in the living room is my concern.
word you seem to want to argue for the sake of it. Either you are my SIL or Matthew wright.

It's your home and your rules. I can't stand people walking into my home with shoes on, especially if it has been raining. I have a carpeted hallway (not by choice) and workmen/delivery men have already made it grubby - I can hardly tell them to remove their shoes when they deliver a fridge freezer. Last time I laid plastic sheeting down and that did the trick. Other cultures wouldn't dream of walking around their homes/other people's homes with their shoes on. I have a nice big door mat where I get the DC to take their shoes off, they now do this automatically.

Shoes on inside is grim! I would be pissed off if someone walked crap into my house, almost everyone asks if it is shoes on or off though.