Is it so bad to ask someone to take off their shoes in your home?

[BlueVernis]

As huge row has broken out between my sister inlaw (SIL) and myself, after I asked her to take of her shoes when she came to my house!
She came over with a few other inlaws late one night as they were passing by. It was raining outside and we have carpet in our living room, which is quite new. Also, my kids like to play on the living room carpet.
My SIL came in and I asked her if she could take her shoes off. She told me that it was a hassle to take of her shoes. I just looked at her and said in a half joke-half serious way that I would have to get some kitchen roll and wipe her shoes then. Then I left her in the hallway and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
A few minutes later I heard her screaming at DH in the hallway, saying that I insulted her by not allowing her into my home and I have no right to ask her to take her shoes off as she is the older SIL. She rang my MIL and was going on and on that I had insulted her etc.
She then went outside, shouting and yelling (I'm sure the neighbours loved it!) and sat in the car and refused to come in.
I'm fuming with her behaviour as I don't think my request was wrong. I have been brought up to take off my shoes in other people's homes, and I even make my kids do the same, whether the house they go to are carpeted or laminated.
Was I being unreasonable?

Some people like them off, some say keep them on. I think it's the person who's house it is that decides. You would be a rude guest for not going along with their reasonable request.

That's another problem. I go flying over people's shoes when they take them off in my house as I wasn't expecting it.

Oh, I'd much rather have a houseful of happy friends and family comfortably enjoying eachother's company and not worrying if they dropped a bit of whatever on our floor.

My MIL would rather be part of the shoes off, minging slippers on, don't eat that in there, keep the kids out of the 'good' room, keep the handtowels straight brigade. Shame really, they get very few visitors...

No shoes people where do you draw the line or is it really as simple as no shoes ever?

I do find that odd.

I'm thinking about situations like my nana's funeral. We all met at my aunts house before hand to get the cars etc. About twenty of us in the house for about twenty minutes. Would a no shoe person really have made twenty grieving members of their family all dressed for a funeral take their shoes off?

What about the meter reader? Or the grocery delivery man? Or a mum picking up their dc from a play date?

You are if they ask you to, VonHerr. Which was the point.

What? No not U at all. Some houses have a shoes off rule some don't. (We don't though usually take shoes off out of habit because it's better for our feet.) I'd always expect people to stick by house rules and would be pleased to be asked if I didn't spot that house rules was shoes off.

Seriously, can someone answer my question? How does this shoes off rule work in Summer when people are usually bare footed beneath their shoes?

I bet there's someone selling twee as fuck wooden plaques informing guests in a sugar sweet passive aggressive manner to remove their shoes

In summer, they also take off their shoes. Whats so hard to grasp?

You sound lovely MissC. If it was as simple as 'I'm right and you're rude', I doubt there would be over 150 posts already on this thread.

YANBU

Why bring the street in to your house especially if you don't wear shoes indoors. If however, everyone was wearing shoes then it would be rude to ask one person to remove their shoes.

Your house, your rules. Simple.

Everyone I know here in the UK seems generally happy with taking off shoes when entering someone's home. I've never asked people to do so (I think I only would ask if their shoes were particularly muddy) but they all do, anyway. And when I visit homes, I've never been asked to take my shoes off but there seems to be an unwritten rule of sorts at all of them (eg, if I'm late and others are there already, there's a pile of shoes by the door.)

The only house I don't take my shoes off in has dogs which are constantly in and out of the place, so I don't really see the point. :)

Please please someone tell me they have blue shoe covers for the sky man!

What's 'so hard to grasp' MissC is the thought of people with bare hot feet walking around my house. I would hate that. Yuck.

It's as simple as you do whatever it is the people inviting you into your home wish you to, basic manners as always win out.

I don't have a strict shoes off house, so its not a case of me being right. We take our shoes off, visiting children are asked to, visiting adults can take off or leave on as they wish, nothing is said to them.

Neither do I usual

Jane, then don't ask them to take their shoes off. Honestly, talk about making up things to complain about!

I'm not making things up to complain about. Some people on here think its unhygienic to wear shoes in the house. I'm saying I find it equally unpleasant to have people walking around my house in their bare feet. It's a discussion forum MissC we're all entitled to make our points.

I agree usual. I take my shoes off in my home because I have wooden floors and don't want them to get marked and have to clean them. But I have never, ever, ever asked anyone visiting me to take their shoes off. I would think that a bit rude, to be honest.

Me neither usual and mrskeith

I think you'll find it's you that's making things up to complain about, MissC ...