Is it so bad to ask someone to take off their shoes in your home?

[BlueVernis]

As huge row has broken out between my sister inlaw (SIL) and myself, after I asked her to take of her shoes when she came to my house!
She came over with a few other inlaws late one night as they were passing by. It was raining outside and we have carpet in our living room, which is quite new. Also, my kids like to play on the living room carpet.
My SIL came in and I asked her if she could take her shoes off. She told me that it was a hassle to take of her shoes. I just looked at her and said in a half joke-half serious way that I would have to get some kitchen roll and wipe her shoes then. Then I left her in the hallway and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
A few minutes later I heard her screaming at DH in the hallway, saying that I insulted her by not allowing her into my home and I have no right to ask her to take her shoes off as she is the older SIL. She rang my MIL and was going on and on that I had insulted her etc.
She then went outside, shouting and yelling (I'm sure the neighbours loved it!) and sat in the car and refused to come in.
I'm fuming with her behaviour as I don't think my request was wrong. I have been brought up to take off my shoes in other people's homes, and I even make my kids do the same, whether the house they go to are carpeted or laminated.
Was I being unreasonable?

YANBU, but agree with pp it sounds like your sil has other issue than the shoes.

To those who complain about bare feet, don't you wear socks?

I am shoes off and prefer if guests take theirs off but would only ask if rainy etc. if people do come to living room in shoes I just Hoover when they are gone, but I have a crawling, lick the floor baby so is more about him than state of carpet.

Fascinated by this whole thing, never knew it was an issue before joining MN. Is it a class, or generational thing?

Glad I read this thread, as now understand why my MIL got so stroppy when we asked her to take off shoes, and made pointed comments for weeks after. Must be to drop with her bunions or poor circulation. Would quite like to get her a pair of slippers to keep at ours, as compromise, but will prob illicit more pointed comments and martyr behaviour. Prefer to keep good relationship and Hoover more often :)

Your shoes don't need to have mud all over them to be utterly covered in germs.

if asked to remove shoes,I would do so
what a stooshie

Wasn't expecting that from you Scottish I'm impressed.

what's a stooshie

Dr. Charles Gerba:

"Ten people were given a brand new pair of shoes to use for two weeks before having them tested for bacteria.

After two weeks, more than 420,000 units of bacteria were found on the outside of the test shoes. Of that bacteria, 27% were deadly E. Coli virus. Also detected was Klebsiella pneumonia, which can cause pneumonia and wound and bloodstream infections and Serratia ficaria, which can lead to infection of the respiratory tract.

?The common occurrence (96 percent) of coliform and E. coli bacteria on the outside of the shoes indicates frequent contact with fecal material, which most likely originates from floors in public restrooms or contact with animal fecal material outdoors,? said Gerba. ?Our study also indicated that bacteria can be tracked by shoes over a long distance into your home or personal space after the shoes were contaminated with bacteria.?

Eco Child's Play (s.tt/19h6J)

It's rude and unhospitable to ask someone to remove their shoes in your home.

It is equally rude to enter someone's home and not seek out their rules and adhere to them.

yes it is so bad. And I wouldnt bother visiting someone again if they made me do that.

So get your mom some slippers or have her bring indoor shoes like my mother does.

The person who would wear their shoes in anothers house is the one who should be embarassed - by their poor manners and unwillingness to acknowledge how utterly unsanitary it is. Espcially selfish if the home has young children who mouth everything and play on the floor. Not a tiny matter of a few germs as indicated in my post above.

Someone's arse could be covered in germs.

it's very rude and unwelcoming.

did you ask her not to brush against your wallpaper too?

Do your children roll around on a public toilet floor? Because that is what is on the bottom of your shoes.

stooshie,big fight,carry on,loud disagreement
opand her sil had big stooshie,sil went aff in huff

It's hardly the same! I can't remember the last time I was in a public loo

Oh god pee on your snazzy socks!

Do you not have socks like most people usual? My floors are quite clean becasue I don't allow people to muck about my house in their outdoor shoes.
The people all around you in public places have been in public loos, dog parks, spit stained sidewalks etc then for you mrskeithrichards and are trampling that all over, where you undoubtably have also pick up the same.

Ah right I get you SC.

'So get your mom some slippers or have her bring indoor shoes like my mother does.'

Yes, because, eeew, germs.

Molly you seem preoccupied.on hand,under nails is flora,Inc urine,faces.germs everywhere.Orofaecal route most common transmission.I'd more worry about shared food passed by hand,than shoes on carpets,given you won't ingest carpet

ps.if you touch someone else mobile strong chance has urine,faeces on it.as due to non hand washing then use phone

Bloody hell do people really worry about what the other people using the pavement might have on their shoes?

Why don't you just have yourself laminated and have done with it!