I wince when women refer to being a mum as "a job"

[CQuin]

It's so mimsy ish, so martyr and yet at the same time.

Our parents would never have said this, is it just the heightened expectations everyone has for everything thee days ?
Would dads say this?

Eg I have two jobs, I'm a mother (or worse "mummy ") and a hat maker." (or whatever )

Fuck off.

Librarian, no I really did mean WHERE, as in you must holiday In some pretty dull places and expect to have NO rest! Or do you mean your experience in being a SAHM was more akin to having 'leave'-probably a bit more of an accurate description. If this was the case you must have been 'sitting on your arse' all day as any person I know who is good at being a SAHP does not experience this 'holiday' you talk off.

By the way my brain cells are very much intact thanks very much - even if they have depleted I'm not worried as I started out with a lot more than the average person. Its people like yourself that should worry more about this natural depletion!

youbroke, i don't mean because officals like banks, registrars drs use term that means its right [although i do think this dscribes what sahp do] i'm just trying to agree that this is the used most often in rl

just like working mum is the rl term, never heard anyone say oh i'm a work outside of the home mother.
they simply say working mum.

its how things are said in rl rather than the cyber world

But autumn you were quite vocal earlier about people calling SAH
lazy, part time unemployed etc.
So that's ok because it's your issue is that correct?

goldenbear I find it amazingly hard to believe that you don't get 5 minutes to sit down and you are on your feet working for 14 hours a day tbh.
I think SAHM work hard and are bloody amazing for doing so but it's not non stop all day every minute, can't even drink a cup of tea is it?

Why do people think they have to justify things like this? I couldn't care less if you sit watching trashy tv all day but there's no need to exaggerate.

tantrums according to whites earlier post SAHMs pop to the shop/go out for coffee/go to the park/ take kids swimming..they aren't just in the house all day you know!

.....see that is all stuff I look forward to doing when I am on holiday from work

TBH Tantrums, I don't have the time for the exchanges with yourself.

TBH golden for someone that doesn't get a minutes rest, you still find a lot of time to spend on here.

taka yep, that's what I do when I'm on annual leave.
AKA holiday.

I'm multitasking - you become quite adept at it when you're SAHP, well if you have any brain cells you do.

Youbroke, seriously, call me whatever. It doesn't bother me. I was highlighting the hypocrisy and double standards. I just chuckle when I hear words like 'economically inactive' and 'unemployed' because whilst 'full time mum' is a commonly used term used in official forms, to quickly describe a woman who looks after her children full time, it's intention is not to offend. Whilst the others are to cause offence. But it takes a lot to offend me, so not bothered. Very meh non issue.

So you do have 5 minutes to sit down then?

Because earlier on you were saying never getting a rest etc.

Do you want me to explain multitasking to you?

For me it is a job and I actually get paid by the government to do it
I am a Mother of a severely disabled child fwiw

why can we not recognise that looking after people, in whatever form is actually 'doing a job' why are we still stuck in a place where people are derided for caring about other people?

Taka, if your so hard done by why dont you make some sacrifices, you know be a little less selfish, stop being a part time mum and join us (SAHP) on our eternal holiday? Oh sorry have I belittled you and mocked your choices (spouting the bolloxs above)?

Owl because we still live in a predominately patriarchal society that only awards respect and status to work with monetary value. Ideas reinforced by many a female on this thread it seems.

Yes taka make some sacrifices. Don't pay your bills. Live in a shed. Eat breadcrumbs

Actually I didn't think you sounded hard done by, just sharing what you do on holiday. But still.

And golden multi tasking? Pray tell what else you are doing whilst sitting down mumsnetting?

golden I am not hard done by i have already said that I enjoy my work and my SAH role. I like the contrast

But I dont have a choice about working, unless we were to live in a cardboard box

I'm cooking as I'm on my phone - ok with you?

I award respect for honesty.

Staying at home with young children is a difficult job sometimes.
However it is not, as some people choose to describe it, a job where you literally, literally never get to drink a cup of tea.

It is also a job where for the most part you are responsible for your own time management, where you get the freedom to decide that you are going to go out with friends, or go swimming, or the beach or to sit in the park.

That was a rhetorical question that's why I included the bit about what I was saying was bollox. I was trying to point out how one could easily find a fault with your choices. As you seem to think it is fair game to belittle SAHP.

I beg you to point out exactly where I have belittled SAHM?
Please?
Because I have said many times on the thread that I think SAHM do a good job because that's what they chose to do.

Well what job is Tantrums? What Job will not allow you to have a drink?

And then contradicted yourself by implying with Taka that it was one big holiday. I thought you valued honesty?

There are plenty of jobs where you don't have time for a break.

Having small children is tough, whether you're looking after them all day or not. When they are at school, much less so.

I don't think arguing that being SAHP is really, really tough is true or doing us any favours.

Please, don't misquote me.
I said the things that were described earlier were things I looked forward to on my annual leave. Which is true. I have never said or implied that being a SAHM is one long holiday, even when someone, was that you ? Was reminiscing about work being just turn up, drink good coffee blah blah blah.

I have said, and will always say I admire people who stay at home to look after their children if that's what they want to do.
But let's not kid ourselves that what you do is so utterly time consuming you cannot have a coffee when in actual fact, it is not.
As above, you manage your own time, you choose if you want to go swimming, for coffee, playgroup etc or have a day at home.
People who work for an employer don't have that option.

It's not a competition, who has the hardest life, so why try and turn it into one? Accept the choice you made, accept it may not be a bed of roses 24/7 but for the most part you are happy and content and just get on with it.