I wince when women refer to being a mum as "a job"

[CQuin]

It's so mimsy ish, so martyr and yet at the same time.

Our parents would never have said this, is it just the heightened expectations everyone has for everything thee days ?
Would dads say this?

Eg I have two jobs, I'm a mother (or worse "mummy ") and a hat maker." (or whatever )

Fuck off.

Should havw probably name-changed for that one

You can get those even if you work, you know

Should you so wish

True enough autumn

Yeah but you can't admit to it on MN!

I'm a full time mum and a full time lawyer. I don't stop being a mum when I'm at work and I don't stop being a lawyer when I'm at home. If the definition of being a 'full time mum' is being at home with your children what are those people called who have school aged children and stay at home? On that basis they should be calling themselves 'part time unemployed' as clearly they cannot be a mum whilst their children are at school .

I have two horses

If I didn't work but looked after them "full time" (and believe me I could, there is enough to do to take a full day), I wouldn't describe that as my job.

It would be a lot of hard work. It would occupy my full day. But it wouldn't be my "job". If I pay someone else to do it, it is their job, but it would not be my job if I did it, because they are my horses.

It not being accurate to describe looking after them full time as my "job" doesn't detract from the amount of work involved in doing that, or devalue it or mean I would not be occupied. It just isn't a "job".

Nor do I consider the raising and care of my child a "job" part time or full. Motherhood is not a job - it's a role.

If you are a SAHM with school-age children, you are likely not to be doing more than an extra few hours child care than a WOHM, so in those cases the term "full time mum" is inaccurate as well.

following the logic of your argument, you must be a 'part time Mother' when at work. Because you can't change nappies and help with homework whilst in a courtroom.

not that I'm bothered. And not that most of the wohm's on this thread are bothered. Is depressing that wohm's are yet again using this opportunity to be unsisterly and anti feminist by referring to sahm's as 'sitting on your arse all day' 'part time unemployed' and 'on holiday.' If I accused a wohm of being an absent parent, missing milestones and sub contracting their care to some teenager with one GCSE, there'd be a very understandable uproar.

Your opinion but doesn't bother me. I use stay home mum or full time mum on forms. But I don't mind housewife either. I do see it as my job for now. If that bothers you then that's your problem really?

I think the term full time mother is ridiculous. It applies to all mothers who have care of their dcs irrespective if they are WOHM or SAHM. That was the point I was trying to make.

It is used pretty often though. It was put on my youngest DC's birth certificate. Their choice of phrase. Usually on forms it is 'looking after home or family'. I think full time mum is OK as it just implies you are literally looking after DC full time, usually pre school.

Yes Jellybeans. Except on mumsnet where it's a hideous affront to the sensibilities of wohm's. ffs.

its not an affront autumn

I just question why anyone would be happy to be called a part time mum, either because they work or because they are SAHP with school age dcs

My children are teenagers now so I dont feel any great angst about working, I also SAHM are lazy or whatever else was said.

*DONT THINK

autumn - it would be nice if you addressed the point upthread about at what point you will stoip using a term when it is clear, for whatever reason, other people find it offensive. Just because some idiotic registrars use it doesnt make it right either. They are not saying it officially because they have been told to, they are saying it because they are dense.

I do find 'full time mum' quite annoying - what am I today then - am doing 8 hours work and looking after the dc.

Do we have part time grandmothers because they live away or part time dads because they are at work? The terms we use are important, they have meaning and influence culture.

I think Kalisi has the right idea; do whatever works for your family and call yourself whatever you want. My kids are all in school now and I don't work so I think I'll change my status to "SAHM to fur-babies" I have a mug that says English Springer Spaniel Mom.

there's nothing to address though. It's a non issue.

But it may be an issue to others though autumn

well then it's their issue. Not mine. I'm not going to start calling myself a domestic engineer or 'economically inactive' or a 'housewife' (I didn't marry a house) to please the professionally offended.

Professional napper?

yes full time mum is the term officals use, that was also what the registrar put on my sons birth certificate too.

and when asked i think i said stay at home mum, and the registar put down fulltime mother

so its is the term banks registars and drs etc use
heck ive even seen it used on tv quiz shows and tv in general

I can start calling you economically imactive though or a housewife even though dont really like it though yes? Because its your issue and not mine?

When you say ' I am a full time mum' you are really saying 'I am more of a mum than you people who do any amount of work' its so bloody Daily Mail.

Youbroke, you can call me what you like, no problem. I know what I am!

Well if bank registrars and the tv are using it then it must be right.

You can call me what you like. You can also call yourself what you like. Including full time mum if you wish. Having a job outside the home just means you have more options. You can say on Monday ' I'm a brain surgeon' and on Tuesday you can say ' I'm a full time mum. Neither are incorrect.
I only have one option at the moment, until I crack Hollywood