I wince when women refer to being a mum as "a job"

[CQuin]

It's so mimsy ish, so martyr and yet at the same time.

Our parents would never have said this, is it just the heightened expectations everyone has for everything thee days ?
Would dads say this?

Eg I have two jobs, I'm a mother (or worse "mummy ") and a hat maker." (or whatever )

Fuck off.

It's is a job. It not in the same way as paid employment, most people make this distinctions it jinks, just pedant ffs

CQuin stop winding people up :o

So 13 years ago DH had a job opportunity which meant long hours, many nights away a lot a stress and pressure, but a bit more money. The most cost effective way to do that was for me to become a sahm.

New city, no friends (at first), no family. His load was earning the money, mine was (and still is) everything else. Now I know single parents have to do all this, and truly hats off to them.

We move around fairly frequently, so new friends to make, new schools to find, new house to decorate, etc etc.

DH is a 'full time parent' even if he is not actually here physically, I'm sure we all agree. He's earning the money that puts the food on the table and the roof over our heads.

But I work bloody hard too. Therefore I have a job within the home.

I'm not getting into a debate about working/SAH mums - I'm baffled why these choices matter to anyone but you and your families. I work FT... works for us.

However, I must say if I asked a woman what she did and she said she was a carer and it turned out she meant she was a SAH I'd think 'What an ARSE'.

I think it depends on how you define job. To me a job is paid work for an employer. Or self employed is paid work and getting a wage for services provided. So a parent at home in my opinion doesn't have a job as I understand the word. I don't have a job. I worked for years and now I don't. And I don't suppose being on Mumsnet 24/7 counts as a job either.

This thread just convinces me it is working mums with a chip who cause these argumental threads. The SAHMs have made their decision and just get on with it.

I mean I must say if I asked a woman what she did and she said she was a carer and it turned out she meant she was a SAH I'd think What an ARSE
What is that all about Proud? If you're caring for small DCs your caring for small DCs, why not call yourself a carer if you want.
...but I spose you work full time so don't feel entitled to call yourself that so in your opinion no one else is allowed to either cos it rubs salt in (or that's the interpretation I would put on your comments)

I work full time. I still care for my dcs?

I see both sides drizzlecake. There are plenty of threads started by people who say they can't imagine having a child and not staying at home. How they feel sorry for children in nurseries etc.

Once the insults have been unleashed then people jump in feeling offended.

I just don't see it in real life. I've worked and I've stayed at home. I've got zero interest in what anyone else feels is the best for their family.

Me neither Jins. I have always done what suited me best, and I think it was the right thing to do. I really don't give a flying stuff what anyone else does.

I must know a lot of opinionated people as I do come across these discussions/ have these discussions with people I know in RL. I've recently had this conversation with a mum friend from school who is worried she is doing the right thing putting her 2.5 year old I to nursery 4 days a week. I've spoken with my DB/SIL about it, I have spoken to my friend who is pregnant with her first about it, I have spoken to my Dad, mum and MIL about it. Hell I've even spoken to my DP's cousin about it.

I should add I don't care if their opinion differs to mine.

I would never call being a mum a job but have no opinion re "full time mum"... I look afters dds (who are napping right now) and work 12 hours a week flexi time in evenings and weekends, going in to work 10 days a year when dh takes holiday to look after dds... I haven't found a quick way of explaining it and the job I do is very varied so hard to explain but also fairly dull to explain, yet people seem annoyed if I don't give details as if it's a secret. Not something I think about a lot tbh.

a friend's dh put on fb he was babysitting while his dw was out - noooooo, I do hate that, they are his kids!

I think having a discussion with a friend involves asking for other peoples opinions. I would agree with that. I've had those discussions with people who have opinions that I value.

The people who come on MN and generalise and posture with no actual knowledge of the situations that other people find themselves in? Those opinions count for nothing and nobody should pay any attention to them, let alone get offended or believe that's what everyone thinks.

Yes this was what I was referring to up thread about context.

TBF I think I'm pretty unusual in knowing a lot of opinionated people in RL.

The people who come on MN and generalise and posture with no actual knowledge of the situations that other people find themselves in? Those opinions count for nothing and nobody should pay any attention to them, let alone get offended or believe that's what everyone thinks

AAaaah. The calming voice of reason

drizzle was it not you posting that working mums had a chip on their shoulder??

WRT Goldenbear's post at 09:38

^No it's where, as in where do you holiday that your perception of 'a break' is comparable to a SAHP that is doing a good 'job'!

Well being at home full time with my DC- one a toddler, one 5 means I don't have time to think about what work used to be like. Some of its coming back to me though - that's it , turn up, write adverts, research projects, drink good coffee, not have any worries about little peoples' safety ....constantly! Oh that's it, it was not the bad - I've just remembered.^

No, it really isn't where! Where you holiday will not change your perception of what 'work' or 'a break' is.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you remember how easy work was, blah, blah, time to drink good coffee, blah, blah. (you forgot to mention that you could go to the toilet on your own though). Except that your memory is totally incomparable to my current perception since, and forgive me if I am wrong, you haven't actually tried to do both at the same time. So it's a rather pointless point you're making.

Besides which, if you had the time and hadn't killed off your brain cells by sitting on your arse at home all day had read my post properly you'd have spotted that I said it was my experience. other people's may be different of course. But in my experience being at home with the children 24/7 is a holiday.

I love the bits crossed out which show the posters true colours
helps us see the true worth of their output.
Zero.
you're welcome

I'm a SAHM. I consider it a job. I also have full time mummy as my occupation on facebook. Fuck you all

dons armour and 'yummy mummy bag' shield

the 'full-time' thing is a good description.
When I worked, whilst I was of course their Mother 100%
I was not there 100%.
I was an hour away, in good traffic.

you do realise how people are going to view you with that dont you Kalisi?

No, I am at home with* my children full time is accurate

Full time mother implies that working or having school aged children makes you a part time mother.

to people posting on Mumsnet perhaps Tantrums. Not so much in the real world.

Economically inactive is good

I'm ready. I've even got a yummy mummy teacup. Yeah I went there!