I wince when women refer to being a mum as "a job"

[CQuin]

It's so mimsy ish, so martyr and yet at the same time.

Our parents would never have said this, is it just the heightened expectations everyone has for everything thee days ?
Would dads say this?

Eg I have two jobs, I'm a mother (or worse "mummy ") and a hat maker." (or whatever )

Fuck off.

do you think it would be so invigorating, if you did it every day?

Impty I think the way to defend being a SAHM is to simply point out that this is what you want to do. Or that you have no choice. Talking it up as a job or worth hundreds of thousands of pounds or that it requires a 24/7 watching brief is counter productive as soon any woman who doesn't provide that will be considered a poor parent and the pressure upon women particularly SAHMs will become ever greater.

Comparing the term 'full time Mother' to words such as 'half caste' or 'backward' really is one of the most stupid things I've ever read on Mumsnet. And I've read some shit here over the years.

I used to have a school hours job.
I would drop the DC at school, go to my paid employment, work for 5.5 hours, then pick up the DC from school. Then I would look after the DC and do housework/cooking/general organising.

I'm currently not working so I guess that makes me a SAHM. It is exactly like a holiday - or at least for 6 hours of the day it is. I'm not doing anything that makes it into a job - taking the DC to school, cooking, general organising comes under the category of things that just need to be done.

Hully I would use SAHP as this is a term that makes no assumptions about number of hours or chores or responsibilities the person does.

i agree with wordfactory

But SAHP is so DREARY. No one would want to talk to someone who described themselves thus, even if it was accurate.

Autumn words matter. Only someone without any intelligence can't understand that.

But Hully the term working parent is dreary too! And full time Mum is just too loaded with expectation.

Yes because the word, 'Lazy' has positive connotations. It is not offensive at all, is it??

People who are lazy may also seek out work to avoid looking after their children all day every day. IME people with a hardworking ethos exist in a working capacity and if they decide to be a SAHP they apply that ethos to that role. In contrast, those who are lazy in paid employment, e.g spending working time organising their social life, wedding, always leaving on the dot, expecting others to compensate for their absence- well if those kind of work shy people decide to be SAHP they will continue to apply that ethos to that role and hence be pretty shoddy at it!

They are all dreary. We need new terms.

you implied that the word 'half caste' has the same level of offensiveness as 'full time mother' which is beyond ridiculous. Only a wohm with a massive chip on her shoulder would have an issue with it. There is nothing offensive about it. Indeed there are wohm's on this here thread baffled by the notion of 'full time mother' being offensive. Words are important. But also easily misinterpreted. And sometimes, people with chips on shoulders, will look for and find offence everywhere they look.

YES EXACTLY GOLDENBEAR LAZY PEOPLE EXIST IN BOTH CAPACITIES OF wohm AND sahm...Thats why I dont really see it as something SAHM need to defend themselves against...I dont think any on on this thread has said being a SAHM isnt hard work have they?

Ooo..sorry for shouting. Multitasking

Im glad you find it invigorating. Do it every day, 8.30-5pm
Then do the ASC pick up. Go home. And do all the housework, homework, admin, dinner, packed lunches, school uniform etc

it might not be so bloody invigorating then

It's a nightmare doing both without staff, and one does rather wonder what the point of such an existence is, round and round on the treadmill with a little holiday every year IF YOU'RE LUCKY.

I sometimes tell people I've 'taken early retirement'. Might not work for younger Mums. I'm an old fart, so fits fine.

I agree that if you look after young children (who don't yet qualify for free nursery time) 7 days a week on your own with no help from partner or grandparents or anyone else, it is draining and going to work for the odd day each week would give you a breather and a change of scene. But if you are the kind of SAHM who shares childcare to some degree with other family members and has a network of SAHM friends, I'm sorry but assuming there are no particular complicating factors I think it is a doddle. If you have a DP you can even go out in the evenings with friends without having to find the money for a babysitter.
And no, I don't say this because I feel guilty that my DCs went to nursery from a young age - it was a great nursery, they loved it, and I never felt a second of guilt about them being there. They also didn't go full time - I worked around them for some of the week (not always easy).
I don't have a problem with people who are SAHMs. But stop pretending that it is really hard. If it is a lifestyle choice, and your DP is supporting you financially, you are very very lucky. I think that DPs in this position are carrying a far heavier load, and a lot of the talk about how hard it is to be a SAHM is probably designed to hide from men that this is the case.

I work at home but I have to say it shit like this, smugness and superiority from those with careers looking down SAHMs that stopped me going to help at school - why should I help their children learn to read for free, I will just teach mine at home.

Hmm and another bug bear the professional mothers/fathers who largely ignore me then decide to walk/talk with me in preparation for asking me for free childcare. I may not have a career but I am not stupid, if I like your child I will allow you to think you have manipulated me, if I do not I will be "busy"

I "wince" whenever I read judgemental claptrap such as the OP.

shurrup fishy

full time mum is term term used in real life though, i've never heard anyone say stay at home mum in rl.

people need to stop being so sensitive and get over it.

"If it's not a job, then what is it?"

Has anyone answered this question from page 1?

why do people need to get over it? Do SAHM need to get over being called lazy?

Drome, you can't generalise. Like everything, it depends on the situation. I was a wohm with my eldest and found it quite easy on a practical level.I I became a sahm when I had dd2,, who was not an easy peasy baby like dd1. She cried. She wanted me all the time. I found it hard. Then I worked again when they were at school, about 22 hours a week. It was a lovely job and I had a fantastic work life balance. Then along came dd3 and I'm sahm again, doing small amount of freelance. I'm loving it because dd3 is very laid back, happy smiley. Wouldn't say it's 'easier' than when I worked. I loved the job and genuinely saw it as a wonderful way to spend my time. The job I did after having dd1 was hideous, however. Stressful managerial position working with some very awkward passive aggressive types. I couldn't wait to leave. Depends on the job. Depends on the children.