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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go to this party?

75 replies

MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 08:47

DS is 9 weeks old and EBF. He will not touch a bottle - I've tried to introduce a couple of ounces of expressed milk every day since he was 6 weeks old experimenting with various teats and bottle without success.

I would really like to attend my work Xmas party in a couple of weeks and estimate that I would be out of the house for 7/8 hours. DH is happy to look after DS - AIBU to go while he still won't touch a bottle? Am I selfish to potentially inflict distress on such a young baby?

OP posts:
INeedThatForkOff · 04/12/2012 08:48

YABU, completely! Go next year (or take him with you).

saccrofolium · 04/12/2012 08:49

Leaving a 9 week old without fluids for 7 hours is bonkers!!! YABU!!! He'll scream the place down!

FredFredGeorge · 04/12/2012 08:51

You've tried with EBM? or DH has tried, DD would never take EBM from DP but would from me without problem - rarely that much, just enough to tide her over I suspect.

I think you should go without question.

Bongaloo · 04/12/2012 08:51

Wow that sounds like some party!
Or do you mean travel?

3b1g · 04/12/2012 08:52

How far away is the party? Could you go for part of it so that you're only out of the house for 3-4 hours?

diddl · 04/12/2012 08:53

Have you tried a small cup?

Like the type of thing on a medicine bottle?

Mine were both bfed, but if expressed, never from a bottle.

If you can´t find a solution though, you can´t go.

Personally I´d much rather be at home with baby than a works Christmas do!

ImperialSantaKnickers · 04/12/2012 08:55

If you definitely need to pay up in advance for this do, I'd abandon. However, you've still got a couple of weeks, obviously you're going to keep trying to get ds to take milk from a bottle so that you're able to leave him if necessary (I'm thinking of the situation I had when ddtwins were still ebf and my dad became dangerously ill Sad, we'd got them to accept a bottle from daddy so at least I was able to travel to visit DF).

Is there no way DH and baby can come too?

LadyKinbote · 04/12/2012 08:55

I would spend the next few weeks working on getting him used to the bottle. Perhaps get DH to do it as DS will associate you with boobs. Good luck!

Original poster
MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 08:56

The party is in London, I am in Brighton so I'd get there around 7pm and leave at 10pm plus travel. DH and I have both tried and he won't take it - we thought if I was out of the house that he would succumb, am I being naive, would he really resist for the whole time?

OP posts:
whyoowhy · 04/12/2012 08:58

he won't take a bottle when YOU offer it

TBH, try being out but nearby for a few hours. When they can't smell mum, they do tend to take bottles, especially if your Dh can put a dribble of the EBM on the teat.

ivanapoo · 04/12/2012 08:58

You still have a few weeks to get him to take it, what about cup feeding? Or topping up with a bottle?

Otherwise if you go you'll be inflicting distress on your DS and your DH...

Also your boobs will probably be ready to explode after 8 hours (which is a VERY long party).

Goldmandra · 04/12/2012 08:58

I second trying an open cup. I know it sounds odd but many very tiny babies can drink successfully from very small open cups.

If this doesn't work and you haven't found a teat he will accept YABVU to go.

Would the level of distress he and your DH would experience really be worth it? Could you really enjoy yourself knowing what was happening at home?

I couldn't.

Original poster
MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 08:58

No, no way DH and baby can come

OP posts:
INeedThatForkOff · 04/12/2012 08:59

I think you should go without question

Without questioning the wellbeing of a tiny baby? Ffs.

Have you considered the possibility of delays to your transport over that distance, OP?

Pourquoimoi · 04/12/2012 09:00

I'd also go for trying a tiny cup, mine would both take milk from that but not a bottle. If he really won't take it then I wouldn't go tbh.

Is it your old child? If so, could DH come up with you and you pop out if baby needed a feed?

EauRouge · 04/12/2012 09:01

I wouldn't risk it personally, if he didn't take the bottle then it'd take you ages to get back and feed him. Too much of a risk for me.

Could you take him in the sling?

WorraLorraTurkey · 04/12/2012 09:01

Sorry but that's a bonkers idea.

Have you considered possible travel problems like snow or ice for example?

You could be stuck away from the baby for over 24hrs.

ZacharyQuack · 04/12/2012 09:03

Is there any way your DH and DS can come to London with you, and you all stay overnight?

Original poster
MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 09:03

No we've got DD who is a toddler too - that's why DH is really encouraging me to go as I've been pretty housebound with the 2 little ones, thought the night out would do me good and that I'm being a martyr for being unsure. I'm really doubting my decision to try to go now although I still have 2 weeks to try

OP posts:
MajorB · 04/12/2012 09:04

The best advice I was given to get baby to take a bottle was get someone else to give it to them for their first drink of the day.

So when DS first gets up in the morning, your DH needs to sit with him and give him the bottle, and you do not enter the room that they are in. It may take a while, but it worked for both of mine.

HTH

whyoowhy · 04/12/2012 09:04

Go. Take a manual pump if you have one and pump+dump enough to not get engorged.

FeckOffCup · 04/12/2012 09:06

YABU, the baby's need for nutrition comes before your want of a night out. It's not being a martyr, it's being a parent, it comes with sacrifices.

Goldmandra · 04/12/2012 09:06

You're not being a martyr. You're being a mother.

There are a million more appropriate ways in which you could get a break without potentially leaving your baby hungry and distressed. Sit down with your DH and work out a few alternatives.

In the meantime keep trying. You may find a really good solution.

ZacharyQuack · 04/12/2012 09:07

Can you do some practice runs, where you leave the house for a few hours and DH has a go on his own?

I wouldn't do it myself, I'd be too worried about the baby and anxious about getting home.

WorraLorraTurkey · 04/12/2012 09:09

I can't believe the people who are advising the OP to spend a minimum of 7/8 hrs away from what will be an 11 week old baby, if by then he still can't feed Confused

Fair enough advising the OP to go if the feeding problem can be sorted, but certainly not if it isn't.

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