Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to go to this party?

75 replies

MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 08:47

DS is 9 weeks old and EBF. He will not touch a bottle - I've tried to introduce a couple of ounces of expressed milk every day since he was 6 weeks old experimenting with various teats and bottle without success.

I would really like to attend my work Xmas party in a couple of weeks and estimate that I would be out of the house for 7/8 hours. DH is happy to look after DS - AIBU to go while he still won't touch a bottle? Am I selfish to potentially inflict distress on such a young baby?

OP posts:

Original poster

MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 12:31

Yum thanks for the faireenuff - did you bake t yourself?

For those of you with constructive advice, yes makes sense for me to not be around when DH is trying the bottle and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and there's always next year for a party.

OP posts:

sparkle12mar08 · 04/12/2012 12:31

I'm all for going out and enjoying yourself, and can't abide matyr mothers, but my ds2 was also a breastfed bottle refuser and couldn't be left for more than 3hrs at that age. Do keep trying in the meantime though and if he starts taking a bottle in the meantime, then bloody well go out and enjoy yourself! If not then you just have to accept that this year it won't be possible. We had tried ds2 with bottles of expressed milk every single day for four weeks from when he was 6 weeks old and he refused every single time. Nothing, but nothing would make him take it. Me there, me not there. Hot, cold, luke warm. Four different types of bottle, spoon, syringe, cup. Morning, noon, night. Nothing. Some babies just really are that stubborn. I hope yours won't be

Original poster

MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 12:40

DD was the same and never took a bottle so I vowed to save myself the money and stress of trying all sorts of bottles and teats with DS but here I am again in the same position, Never mind, I'll have a nice mince pie with DH instead.

OP posts:

footyfan · 04/12/2012 12:44

I personally couldn't do it. I wouldn't enjoy myself worrying if my baby was ok. However, that's your call.

My DS wouldn't take a bottle either, even with me out of the house. However, he would happily drink from a syringe, spoon and a bottle top (check for sharp bits first!), might be worth trying those.

Also, you'll have to pump - or have a stretchy dress on to take the strain! Eight hours without feeding could be very painful.

I agree with the suggestion of all of you staying in London - that's the only way I'd even consider it.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 04/12/2012 12:46

By all means go, if you feel that a drunken night out with work colleagues is so important that you can leave your infant......

Original poster

MakeTeaNotWar · 04/12/2012 12:49

Gold I don't drink? If DS doesn't happily accept a bottle of expressed milk in the next two weeks, then I can't go

OP posts:

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 04/12/2012 12:56

Doesnt matter if you dont drink, the rest of your colleagues will be pissed!

Kalisi · 04/12/2012 12:59

If you do go OP, for the love of God don't forget breast pads.
Yup. I did.

sparkle12mar08 · 04/12/2012 13:01

Yyy, seconding Kalisi! Been there, done that, got the very wet tshirt!

AvonCallingBarksdale · 04/12/2012 13:09

We went to a wedding when DS was 3 months old and were lucky in that he was happy to drink my expressed milk from a bottle. I expressed loads so that my aunt had a v large supply. I then spent a good part of the wedding celebrations in toilets expressing and throwing away ounce after ounce of milk. In retrospect, the whole thing was a massive logistical effort and I wished I'd not bothered tbh! IIWY, I'd just wait till next year, and plan some nights out nearer to home.

Ontesterhooks · 04/12/2012 13:19

See some of the attitudes on here is what really puts me off breastfeeding because it seems like a huge sacrifice is expected - I think 1 night out in almost 3 months is reasonable!

Faireenuff · 04/12/2012 13:23

Sorry isn't homemade OP. I'm far too busy looking after and enjoying my baby.

givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 13:27

Yabu.

That's one of the downsides to breast feeding but you knew that before you chose how to feed. If is only 9 weeks!

Pilgit · 04/12/2012 13:31

Don't have any advice - there seems to be lots of good suggestions (and rather a lot of judgy pants being put on.....). Your husband sounds great though - supportive and willing to deal with it. Hope you get the bottle or cup working.

MikeOxard · 04/12/2012 13:32

I think I personally wouldn't bother but if you really want to go, what about getting dh and the dc to stay in a hotel very close to the party. Feed him at the hotel before leaving, pop back to feed him a couple of hours later. You still get to enjoy the party but ds also gets fed.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR · 04/12/2012 13:36

Actually it is important to get a baby used to taking milk from a bottle and being fed by someone else. Because there are all sorts of circumstances in which a BF mother might have to be away from the baby for several hours - older sibling knocked off his/her bike and rushed to hospital? Mother arrested? Mother becomes ill and needs meds that will transmit through breast milk to dangerous levels? It's actually common sense to involve other close family members in feeding the baby from as early as possible, if you can.

Ignore the whinyarsery about how wicked and unnatural you are: it stems from the same misogyny and insistent belief that women exist for others' needs and not their own as all the rubbish about what pregnant women should do and not do.

Ontesterhooks · 04/12/2012 14:16

Whinearsery :)

GreenEggsAndNichts · 04/12/2012 14:28

Okay I stopped reading responses after a while, as some of them are very U, imo. So I apologise if this has been suggested already, but: I'd try going out for a shorter period, and see how your DH gets on with feeding her. I BF my son for a year, I'm all for BFing, but I'm also in favour of finding ways to let the mum keep her sanity during that time as well.

I realise it's a very small baby, though, and if you haven't sorted anything by partytime I'm afraid I'd say you'll have to wait for next years party. Or, try to have drinks closer to you, with some select co-workers?

Good luck!

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR · 04/12/2012 16:04

Thing is, the OP has already said that she won't be going if she can't get the baby happy to drink from a bottle. SHe was asking how to improve the possibility of doing this.
Not dumping the baby in a neighbours' porch while she romps off to a drug fuelled 48-hour orgy, but still all the 'Waaa, blaa, now you're a parent you must never have any fun ever again' started up.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 04/12/2012 16:32

oh sorry I've re-read my post and should clarify: I meant, try going out for a shorter period SOON, pre-party, this week sometime, and see how it goes. A test period. Give DH milk and see how it goes.

I didn't mean go to the party for a shorter period, as I can see most of the time is being spent traveling to and from the party. :)

Pinkforever · 04/12/2012 16:43

Some of the posters on here really need to take a looooooooong hard look at themselves-imferring that the op is a bad mother because she wants ONE fucking night off? get a life the lot of ye...

Op-I would continue trying to get your dc to take milk from a bottle-or even try formula. Despite what many posters on here would lead you to believe its not poison and one or two bottles wont kill her....

parsnipcake · 04/12/2012 16:51

I'm a foster carer and have had to foster a couple of tinies who were ebf. I found a 50ml syringe from eBay, dripping the milk in worked far better than cups, and would definitely recommend you try it. Ultimately, babies don't starve themselves, but it could be quite a difficult evening, and babies that have had to move to alternatives do sometimes reject the breast when they are offered it again ( my experience is with mum who needed emergency surgery and mums who were arrested)

dinkystinky · 04/12/2012 16:58

OP - some babies just dont really take to the bottle - DS1 and DS2 were like this. The only way I could get them on the bottle (and even then it was drastic measures as I was due back to work a week or two later and wanted to ensure they were drinking milk during the day) was to go cold turkey - 48 hours with no bfs, and poor DH just offering bottles of EBM to them - and that was hard for all concerned. I wouldnt go down that path unless you absolutely have to.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 04/12/2012 17:08

I hope you manage to sort something and get your night out Op.
Like other posters have suggested, give it a trial run for a shorter time and see how it goes.

HairyGrotter · 04/12/2012 17:11

A baby doesn't NEED to get used to a bottle. I EBF DD and I'm a lone parent, I was even hospitalized several times due to gall bladder issues, but continued to EBF. That might make me a martyr, or it might just make me a tight arse who refused to buy a product I could produce myself for free .

The argument that a baby must become accustomed to a bottle is a bit daft, it's up to the parents to decide what best suits them.

In this case, as the OP asked, I wouldn't go that far away.

Flip

1 2 3