AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

[RainbowsFriend]

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! ) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder

So WIBU to feed her in public?

Saccrofilium

YANBU though I would have said something to them to prevent them from doing it again to some other poor mum.

It is each mothers individual choice how she feeds her child & no-one has the right to make comment on it be it breast, formula or cows milk-it is not a competition, please don't try to make it one.

Rainbowsfriend YANBU, and I'm shocked that people would talk about you like that. DS has literally apparently just self-weaned, all of a sudden, this week at 3.9yo. I honestly can't remember the last time he fed in public - probably not as old as 18mo tbh, as I was self-conscious and I suspect he picked up on that and never really asked.

The only thing I wondered was if these mums had younger children and hadn't actually noticed what you were doing at all? I've previously been startled at how much of this kind of thing newish mums talk to each other, loudly, in public places. Each to their own, I guess, but it makes me realise how much kinder it is to be non-judgemental in our publicly-located conversations!

Keep up the good work .

I reckon we need to come up with a leaflet "Breastfeeding myths" or something, with a quick list of facts on why it's normal and beneficial to BF children till 2 and beyond, and also stuff in support of feeding on demand / in public.

And then politely hand them to anyone who stares / makes comments.

DD's due in April, might make some for then!

Rainbow I'm sorry you had such a negative experience, hopefully if won't happen again and I just wanted to add my support to say well done, just ignore the idiots, grow a thick skin and keep up the good work!

YANBU Op, would mothers at the other table expect your DD to have only 1 or 2 meals a day? I think not! I would not BF myself, but I support those who wish to, wholeheartedly! I am not a fan of 'mummymilk', as it would make me feel like a cow/ livestock rather than a woman/ mum, but that's up to you and anything is better than 'bitty/booby' [shudder] IMHO. You had paid to use the cafe by buying food and it doesn't sound as though you were occupying the table when you had finished and others were waiting

Yanbu about feeding your dd.
But calling it mummy milk is twee and horrid.
Don't do it.
The other women were rude and judgmental.
Ignore.

at how rude other people are - I can't believe that anyone would be so rude as to comment out loud about what you are doing! It's a sad state of affairs that mothers are judged for feeding their babies in public. And these comments about 'pimping your daughter out' and 'leading men on' (on another thread) - downright disturbing if you ask me!

'But calling it mummy milk is twee and horrid.
Don't do it'

So it makes your teeth itch? Big deal. She can call it what she likes

Yanbu nothing wrong with bf a child of that age if both mother and child are happy with it

They are obviously very rude and ignorant people but try and remember that they obviously don't know any better and don't take it to heart.

I don't think you were doing anything wrong OP. Those women were horribly rude!

I don't think I would personally breast feed for more than 6 months. Hypothetical of course,haven't actually had a baby yet. But if you want to then...fine. It's not weird or wrong. Your baby is still only 18 months after all!

Also...don't get the big deal about using the phrase mummy milk. Of course it's a bit twee...it's what OP's baby calls it. Babies have something of a monopoly on being allowed to be "twee" I find.

I now consider myself educated and know what the word "twee" means! even if I did have to google it- thanks urban dictionary

I really don't think OP is calling it that out in the community, it's just a word she uses with her DD and the way she wrote her post. I must really need help we call it booboo! Or sometimes it is a funny panting sound with a knowing look- by DS (not me of course).

Well done you for getting this far with breastfeeding. Unfortunately we have a culture which encourages women to put babies/ toddlers on to formula and cows milk early. what better source of milk is there than one produced by the childs own mother? I only managed 6 months ebf but would have gone on a lot longer if my son wasn't tongue tied.
Unfortunately by feeding a toddler in public you are in a minority but a minority I certainly plan to join in the forthcoming months after DC2 is born!
Ignore them and continue feeding your child as you like.
and call it what the hell you like, your child, your body - I always called it mummy milk and will continue to do so esp when explaining breastfeeding to DS1 when DC2 is here!

every day I am amazed by how openly rude people can be!

I was car-less for about 2 weeks recently and had to take DS to nursery and back on the bus. It really opened my eyes to how difficult it is to breastfeed discreetly on public transport. Basically it's impossible with a 23 month old who can ask for food.

No one said a word to me but I did get some looks. It's hard when they get older and more vocal.

OP YANBU YANBU YANBU. But you WOULD BU if you were to give up breastfeeding in public just because of these ignorant women.

For the person who said Guess that will be the social conditioning at play - at least you recognise that's what it is! And the more people like the OP (and I, although my baby is only 14 mo) breastfeed in public, the less that social conditioning should become.

YANBU. You're doing a wonderful thing Rainbow

I am equally appalled and saddened by some of the attitudes towards BFing on this thread.

I'm appalled by the woman mentioned BF her pre-schooler in Starbucks. She should have gone somewhere more appropriate, like Costa or another coffee shop that pays a fair amount of tax.

EauRouge, so true!

Good for you OP. Ignore the-ignorant people on here and out and about. You are doing the best for your child and call it what you want too! Icky???? FFS some people need to get over themselves.

I'm rather at the dislike of the term 'mummy milk', esp used by and to a child. Small children tend to call their mothers mummy. Some have milk from their mummy. Mummy milk. I'd have found it rather odd to have talked about 'breastmilk' with my child, for all I'm very much in favour of using correct anatomical terms with children.

I thought the received wisdom around extended breastfeeding was that you should have some sort of private word for it that you make up yourself.

why on earth should I use secret code words for feeding my child, as if it were something illicit? What next, bf masks?

Oh FFS it's not a secret code word, just a private word so that if you want to be discreet you can. Jeez.

Exactly Poppy, I don't particularly want my toddler talking about my 'breasts', especially as they'll talk to all & sundry about things you'd rather they didn't!

If they're old enough to ask, they're too old IMO. I would be repulsed to see this, but that's just me and I bf my DD as long as I could with the issues we had. I just think it's unnecessary at that age if she's had plenty to eat and drink.

And seeing as there are so many who are repulsed by long term bf, perhaps encouraging your child to call it something else, projects them from idiots telling them how wrong it is.