AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

[RainbowsFriend]

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! ) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder

So WIBU to feed her in public?

Evenifiseeyouapoppy you post was very defensive. It's not about breastfeeding masks, it's about finding ways to bf in peace. You divvy.

I am absolutely shuddering with laughter that someone would be repulsed at the sight of my 3.5 year old breastfeeding. He asks for boob. He calls them his, and happily tells me that one tastes of apple juice and the other like warm, sweet milk. He says it's nicer than cow milk, which he also drinks. My breast milk sustained him through norovirus, through chicken pox, and all matter of upset. He fed through injections, through the scary times when his father was drunk and abusive. Would that still repulse you?

I think it is the most natural thing in the world. My sons, who tandem fed for a while, are the most secure and well-adjusted boys I know. The eldest used to stroke his baby brother's head as they both fed together, and he used to sweetly talk about teaching him how to feed. I guess that would repulse you too.

YABU. At that age, they should be getting the nutrients they need from the food they eat.
As some people on this thread have pointed out, even the ones for it, it's primarily a source of comfort and they 'don't want' to stop as it's creating a bond with their baby.
So, more a case of what the mother wants then, in my opinion.

Nice to debate on such a high level of politeness and sophistication, saccro.

You are very aptly named, Donkey.

You're welcome.

Thing is blondiedollface, my Dd's been able to ask for milk since she was 10 months old. She is 15 months now, my friend's dd is 18 months and can only say 'quack' - is it alright for one and not the other??

{grin]at *LIareggub. Love this site. Can't be arsed with debate or want to see another person's point of view apart from your own? Yay, let's just throw insults instead! {grin]

Oh crap. Emoticon fail

YANBU, of course you're not.

Now, off to read OP and thread.

Anyway, was just pointing out what others even FOR b/f have said. It's a comfort, and they (the mum) doesn't want to stop. So for them, then!
Out of their mouths themselves.

Belmo - I'm sure most children can communicate and ask for it without using words. It's a personal thing and what works for some doesn't for others I just find it very uncomfortable seeing this happen but would never discuss it verbally and would have to look away as it makes me too uncomfortable.

Totally agree with what Donkey said - my Aunt always said she would stop when her son could ask - when her son was 14mo she spoke to myself and my mother and said he didn't 'need' it as much as 'want' it any more and most of the reson she was doing it was for the continued bond. That's fab for her, but I still find it awkward to see older babies and children breastfeeding. Those of us who didn't continue for longer still have an amazing bond with our children - you don't lose out on the cuddles and the closeness just because you stop! Your child will always want and need comfort from mummy...

Repulsed? Oh for godsake.

Btw I still see 18 month olds using bottles. Is that any different?

Not at all unreasonable, op. I've fed all three of mine to that age. But it would be (and this is not the point of your op, I know) to expect people to wholeheartedly support what you're doing given that it's not a societal norm. I do still feed my dd2 in public at 17 months. It's my right to do it, but it's also other people's right to think what they think. Shame they were rude enough to express it loudly enough for you to hear. Fwiw, I would have and have felt the same as them, I've had a shift of opinion and I could still be right or wrong. Seems to be okay for now.

Yabu. Let your child grow up

To clarify my earlier post, I call it "human milk" or "nursing" when talking to other adults and "nursies" when speaking to my daughter.

This is because I see breastfeeding a child as being about more than milk. It's the comfort and reassurance, as well as the immune benefits and the nutrition. Nursing is a better description imo.

And yes, my daughter is a toddler and therefore runs around shouting. I'd rather she didn't hurtle towards me in a crowded area shouting "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS" as that would draw more attention to my nursing than I require. It's a perfectly normal part of caring for my child, not performance art.

Oh for goodness sake givemeaclue the child is 18mths old!!! It has the rest of it's life to 'grow up'!
I am shocked by some of the comments n here the WHO clearly advocates feeding until 2 years - why does everyone have such a problem with mothers who wish to follow that advice!

The world health organisation advises breastfeeding until two years for the full health benefits. Mine could ask for a breastfeed by one, so the belief that you must stop when a child is old enough to ask is not backed up by any scientific evidence.

OP YANBU

Ooh, just managed to tick a few things off my bingo card. Keep them coming!

"If they're old enough to ask, they're too old IMO."

They can always ask.

A minutes old baby can clearly express their need to be at the breast.

I had DD3 5 months ago, and by third time around I could read the feeding cues so clearly it was as if she was slapping me in the breast and saying "excuse me mater, could you make your nipple available for me this instant?"

:o

I'm still giggling at Llaregub having a breast that serves apple juice :o

YANBU.

I had these kind of experinces from about 6 months onwards - so I was just feeding at home around 12 month or just before.

The exception were when they were very distressed and bf was a way of calming them down - but that was rare usually a cuddle was enough.

It would have been nice not to have to 'hide' and not avoid talking about it to avoid dealing with judgement and grief from other but I didn't want to deal with others judgements. People assumed I'd stoped.

Would also been nice not to have to deal with nursury staff disapporval of DD1 then DS bf their toys.

They also still refer to it as mummy milk - youngest long since weaned but bf crops up every so often in their conversations.

It would be nice to change people - but IME older DC gets more and more people feel need to comment and judge so it won't get any better any time soon.

My friends laugh because, whilst dd2 only really says "mi" when asking for milk, and doesn't put her hand down my top or anything, to those in the know there is a very purposeful lean back onto my lap

Yes, in developing countries the who advice applies. I didn't realise op was in a developing country.

What makes you think that the advice only applies to developing countries?

mrskeithrichards said: I'm pretty sure no one said anything.

I agree with you.

I breastfed and couldn't care less how other people choose to feed their children, but I find it interesting that I only hear about these extremely rude (and detailed) strangers on Mumsnet and never on RL.

Anyway, you know you're not being unreasonable and I would hope you wouldn't stop breastfeeding your child because of anonymous comments online, so I don't understand your post. Unless you need some validation, in which case, well done for lactating - go you!