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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that it's rotten to put somebody off their favourite baby name?

65 replies

gail734 · 03/12/2012 21:04

My best friend is pregnant after having a hard time TTC. She has always planned to call a baby girl Elizabeth, not because she's a big royalist, but because she loved Liz Taylor. Once pregnant, she told her sister about this and the sister was obviously not impressed. She harped on about it apparently, telling my friend that "Betty" would be picked on at school for having such a "square" name, that people would think she'd named her baby after the queen, etc. When I said something about name choices today she replied, sadly, that she'd let the idea of Elizabeth go because of all the crap that her (younger, childless) sister had given her about it. I think her sister is being a total, well, I won't say it here, but it's not a nice word. I told her to think about her name choices, discuss them with her DH and keep them a secret from fannies like her sister!

OP posts:
MissCellania · 03/12/2012 21:05

Can't have loved it that much if one person put her off so easily.YAbu

MadStaringEyes · 03/12/2012 21:06

Elizabeth is my number 1 girls name. YANBU, who gives a toss what other people think.

squeakytoy · 03/12/2012 21:08

There is nothing wrong with the name, and nothing wrong with it being shortened to Betty either..

SantaWearsGreen · 03/12/2012 21:08

Why would you let someone put you off your all time favourite name so easily?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/12/2012 21:09

I agree she can't have like it that much if she was put off so easily, but no, it's to nice to be horrible about someone choice of name.

I can see the need to question a name choice if the choice is truly awful, but Elizabeth is a pretty standard name, and wouldn't make most people automatically think of the queen. Even if it did, so what?

jennycrofter · 03/12/2012 21:09

YANBU

Mil did a similar thing to us. Pursed lips, the whole "I don't think so" shebang. We made light of it, even though we were upset, and it still rankles - though DD has a lovely (different) name, which is just right for her.

They've just it again with another relative, and she stuck to her guns. The upshot is that the extended family call the beautiful little girl something similar to, but different from her actual name. That makes me even more Angry and Sad.

I'd try to focus on it being thoughtless rather than hurtful, if possible. Life's short.

HairyGrotter · 03/12/2012 21:09

My middle name is Elizabeth...nuff said. Tis an awesome name

StinkyWicket · 03/12/2012 21:10

I LOVE Elizabeth! Tell her that, and maybe she'll change her mind.

She IBU though to let others opinions rule what she wants to name her child. What does her sister suggest anyway? Jordani? Princess? Tinkerflopsybell? After all, they are much more 'modern' aren't they?

(PS, although I personally think it's VILE Lily Allen named her baby Ethel which is taking old lady names to the extreme!)

Pancakeflipper · 03/12/2012 21:13

First rules of Baby Names - don't ever tell anyone the baby name.

We cannot all love the same names. So tell people after baby is born what the name is.

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 03/12/2012 21:13

when i was pregnant with DD I told my family I was thinking of name A. I then changed my mind and thought of name B. When I told my sister she said, with genuine relief, 'thank god, A is an awful name'

DD is called A (with B as a middle name). If you love a name you can't shake it!!

(in first pregnancy SIL laughed out loud when we told her what we were planning to call DS - still called him it!)

HairyGrotter · 03/12/2012 21:14

People commented on my baby names, but I loved them, that was enough for me. I still get raised eyebrows but DD suits her name, no worries

quoteunquote · 03/12/2012 21:14

I bet the sister uses Elizabeth for her first born DD,

all the elizabeths in our family(we have a few) get called Lilibet or Betty, I like them both.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 03/12/2012 21:18

YANBU

Mil put DH off of the 2 names we'd chosen for a boy. Now at 38 wks we're back to arguing discussing again. And it doesn't help I still like the 2 mil managed to veto Angry

Pilgit · 03/12/2012 21:23

My bil doesn't like our dd's name so calls her by a shortened version that she never gets called. Winds me up. But he's a dick and dd just looks at him weirdly.

HollyBerryBush · 03/12/2012 21:25

Elizabeth is a beutiful name - it has so may diminutives , Beth, Bella, Eliza, Elie even Betty or Liz. It's one of those timeless names that transcends any generation and can be adapted.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 03/12/2012 21:26

My sister's favourite name during her pregnancy was Chlamydia Grin (until our mother told her what it was...)
I guess if your friend is willing to let her sister put her off, she didn't like the name all that much. If she really wanted it, and was set on it, she wouldn't care.
There's an Elizabeth in DDs class at school, and I know several of all ages. It's one of those timeless names that is always nice, and won't date someone who has it like other names can.

WilsonFrickett · 03/12/2012 21:30

I had Elizabeth for precisely that reason holly - you can adjust to suit the child. A Beth is very different from a Betty.

abigboydidit · 03/12/2012 21:30

I am always amazed that people pass comment! When I was pregnant with DS I told a friend that if it was a girl, we would be giving her my granny's name as a middle name. My granny died when I was little but was still a huge part of my life and I explained this rather tearfully thanks to the hormones. My friend's response?

"that's a name you'd give a dog, not a baby"

Xmas Angry
Kalisi · 03/12/2012 21:33

Yadnbu! I hate this and wouldn't dream of saying it to somebody. When I was pregnant with DS it seemed like the world and his bloody wife had an opinion on our chosen name. Sod the truth, if the response isn't "Oh that's lovely" I don't wanna hear it! Wink

TwitchyTail · 03/12/2012 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theboutiquemummy · 03/12/2012 21:36

Amen gail734 the sister is just being jealous your advice is sound

GaryBuseysTeeth · 03/12/2012 21:39

If a friend had her heart set on Adolf, I may say something.

A name like Elizabeth has so many nicknames that it's a shame if one not so great one would put her off.
I'd call her Elizabeth anyhoo just to see if younger sister thought she was boring & square then.

HairyGrotter · 03/12/2012 21:41

I dunno, I think I'd scoff at 'Adolf' in a non-committal way Confused

DeWe · 03/12/2012 21:46

I like the name Elizabeth. One of my dd's has it as their middle name. I love also that they can make so many different abbreviations out of it.
Liz, Lizzie, Libby, Eliza, Liza, Lisa, Lilbet, Beth, Bets, Betsy, Bessy, Betty... I'm sure there are others.

The only thing I'd say is if there is a name that has an association that will be picked up very quickly (eg initials spelling something) it would be fair enough to let the person know gently.
I know someone who had recently moved to Scotland when they had their first, that they planned on calling Donald. The first person they told promptly broke into singing "Donald where's your trousers" and they were a bit Shock. When the 4 and 5th also broke into the song they decided it probably wasn't the best name.
18 years down the line their son (who knew he'd nearly been Donald, but didn't know why they'd changed) said "I'm so glad you didn't call me Donald. Whenever I've mentioned it to anyone they've always started singing Donald where's your trousers..."

breatheslowly · 03/12/2012 21:48

I think it depends on the reasons. My DM put me off our first choice of name for DD, but with quite a sensible reason (no one could spell the name we had chosen). I don't regret it in the least and love the name we chose in the end. But the reasons your friend's sister gave are just rubbish and that is out of order.