Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to have fed my baby here?

999 replies

ariane5 · 03/12/2012 11:08

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:08

Sore loser methinkks Golld

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 15:14

Nolittle. Funny how you say you wouldn't make a scene irl, but you're happy to do so on the Internet.

Also funny how you say you work to 'change condescending attitudes towards disability' and yet you are happy to mock bedhopper here - a bb holder herself- just because she doesn't agree with you.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:16

mock her how?

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:17

do you never take the piss out of other Able bodied people then? [forgetting that disabled people are saints and always nice]

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:19

Defending your apinions when requred to do so is not making a scene IMO

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 15:20

Your nasty little jibe about her living ^In her car was mocking her.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:23

her point was glib and it was a funny image to me

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:23

do you never take the piss out of other Able bodied people then?

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:24

boring life you must have

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:33

BTW Condescention and Mockery are totally different things Grin

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 15:35

See, you just can't justify it without resorting to insults. Do you only work to stop condescending attitudes towards disabilty sometimes - when it suits you? When someone disagrees with you, you feel free to mock them. Nice.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:38

Not at alll, show me where I was condescending in respect of disabillity and I will take point.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:39
  • your
NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:40

what do you mean when it suits me, condescention never 'suits' anyone!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 15:50

Mocking and condescension are not so very different. Both unpleasant. Especially when you are so clearly enjoying it.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 15:54

They are actually, and why do you keep feeding the fire? If I'm being such an arsehole and you don't like? Hmm

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 16:02

So it's ok in your professional capacity to mock people with a disability then? Because it's different from condescension.

As long as we're clear.

If you're so serious about changing attitudes towards disability, I wonder why you would bring such a mocking tone onto a thread about disabled parking spaces.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 16:07

I'm sorry I didn't realise I was on here in a professional capacity. I did not mock bedhopper, she made a glib irrelevant point and I responded similarly. My work nothing to do with parking ffs! Grin

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 16:08

BTW if I am on here in capacity, how much does it pay? Grin

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 16:09

Her point was far more relevant than half the posts you've written. Plus, you were mocking - bedhopper herself pulled you up on it. I don't actually understand why you would be so mocking on a public forum if you wouldn't be in a professional capacity.

megandraper · 04/12/2012 16:09

Thank you Sabrina. Yes, Nolittle, I did feel you were mocking me and being condescending when you pretended to think that my disability meant I could only feed my baby in a car and nowhere else.

I also think you are attributing unpleasant motives to me without good reason when you say PS it's a dirty trick to goad someone into talking about your situation without more detail If there is something you would like to know, then just ask. I wondered if you thought it was acceptable for a BB holder to feed a baby, since upthread you said it was not acceptable for the OP to do so because neither she nor the baby were BB holders. That's all. (For the record, I think it is acceptable for both me and the OP to do so).

I don't think there's a need to be so snide and aggressive. At least two people who give out and monitor Blue Badges have said that the OP's usage was within guidelines. I agree with them. You do not. Sometimes in this situation it's interesting to debate. But all you do is restate your position in an increasingly rude way. I don't know what you feel is gained by this.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 16:13

Anytime bedhopper Smile

AndABigBirdInaPearTree · 04/12/2012 16:21

as BB holders are allowed to refuge in the car before making their journey and a BF baby is allowed by law to be fed anywhere they are legally allowed to be then what really is the problem?

The spirit of the BB is to allow normal daily activities to be (more) accessible for those who need it. Having a place to refuge was a needed part for this family to access the activity they were doing. To not do so would mean that the BB holders would miss out and have to stay home.

megandraper · 04/12/2012 16:22

Off to make tea for the DCs now. We will not be occupying a parking space, disabled or otherwise, while I do so - just in case anyone was worried...

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 16:28

Bedhopper you know what you were trying to do, so don't play dumb! The point about living in your car, was simpllly that if you are able to leave it as a believe op shoulld have done! There was no condescention as I neither fellt nor showed pity towards you, and you did makke it sound likkke you were unable to feed outaide the car. As far as being rude and snide goes, I thinkk you and sabrina are both rude to say what you have said about my work, when you have not read any of it or looked into the D Rights movement. I have restated my points and beliefs because I still believe those things. Finally, if you are going to pick hole in my arguments by smugly misquoting the words used, you should be prepared for the response.

What have I learned? Not to be on mumsnet iff you donb't fit the stereotype of the permacheerful brave vullnerable disabled person