to have fed my baby here?

[ariane5]

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

Yanbu at all! You had paid for the space, you have a blue badge and your baby needed to be fed.

I have sat in the car loads to bfeed after shopping, fussy babies that wouldnt feed with distractions.

If yoi had gone to a cafe etc you woild have been longer, as it is there was no alternative.

Op you did nothing wrong!

Offered, how do you know what I use my knowledge for? I have explained myself to OP. FWIW I use my knowledge to get rid of the condescing attitudes to persons with disabilities, as often expressed on here, and to push for full equality, which means fighting against the abuse of the societal structures that are put in place to help people to be equal, and to stand against people who interpret things one way when it suits them and complain when it doesn't. Moreover, I am not sure that it is entirely justifiable to called an indepth knowledge of the JP implications of Disability Law across all strands of the UK and EU frameworks a limited area. I have a family and living with a disability, I probably know more about the day to day impllications of it than most TBH. I still thinkk you have behaved appalinglly.

Tis the season of goodwill to all...

Poor op - ywnbu - I am sorry you have got such a drubbing from some rather embittered sounding individuals. Some really jaw-dropping harsh and horrible comments on this thread - I just could not read it all and not post even at the risk of continuing the 'debate'.

I used to work in a London Borough issuing parking permits and badges - the central London Orange badges as well as Blue Badges. If anyone had called in to complain about the circumstances described in the OP - the Council would not have requested the return of the badge. It is cruel and scare-mongering to suggest it.

I am well aware that parking seems to bring out the worst in people, as soon as any commodity is made rare, spaces for Blue badge holders are definitely in that category, all empathy for others needs seems to go out of the window. The op was forced to feed her baby in the car by circumstance, the other spaces were occupied so the people looking for a space questioned the continued presence of op's car. If spaces were available no one would have given them a second glance. I very much doubt even NoLittleBuddha, having found a parking space would have tapped on the op car window saying 'move beeyatch your time is up!'. The issue was the crowded car park not the op.

But having been shouted by so many people for parking related frustrations - (even celebrities I had "don't you know who I am!" shouted at me by a furious non driving pop star wanting a resident's parking permit) - abosolutely nothing should surprise me about this debate.

Thank you for that bigmouth.

I would, Bigmouth, but I would have said:

"Excuse me, if you are not going to be shopping would it be possible for you to pull out of the space to allow me to pull in as I need to get out urgentlly due to my heallth issues."

Then OP would have been perfectly justified to say something allong the lines of:

"We will be here for a little while longer I'm afraid, my DS has health issues too and I need to attend to them."

Me: "I see, do you mind if we wait for you to leave? or [there is a pulll in spot over there, that might be more comfortable for you, as there are lots of people waitng you can take as long as is needed."]* If I knew the area

OP: "Yes/No I'm not comfortable with that, we won't be very long.

Hopefullly in the scenario Op described, if the above exchange had occured the Op would come to the conclusion that she was being unreasonable as feeding was not SN related and moved, no need for rudeness from anybody

Nolittle, do I conclude from that that you'd be happy to wait for the space then, until the op had finished bf her baby?

Bigmouth said

"I very much doubt even NoLittleBuddha, having found a parking space would have tapped on the op car window saying 'move beeyatch your time is up!'"

You missed her point entirely.

Nolittle - In the imaginary scenario I described you have a parking space and I was positing it was unlikely you would disturb the op as you had parked in a space - in the situation the op described there were no parking spaces available - that was the problem - not the op's actions but the lack of alternative spaces.

Nolittle - out of interest, would you also have expected me to move the car in similar circumstances? - i.e. no alternative spaces available to move the car to. I am a BB holder, and sometimes feed my baby in the car.

snap Goldmandra but, verging on wilfull, point missing, is the way nolittle rolls on this thread, that is the way it reads to me anyhow.

Parking space or no, I would have said something, Gold and Bigmouth, but politley alll the same, more along the llines of others are waiting rather than myself. She was wrong. IMHO . Bedhopper, can you not feed your baby outside of the car at alll, that must be very itme consuming/ boring if you have to live in your car.

I thinkk you are the ones willfulllling missing the point TBH

Nolittle. Of course I am physically able to feed my baby out of the car, I think you are either trying to be funny or wilfully misunderstand there.

But sometimes it makes more sense to feed in the car. Just as it does for all non-disabled mothers. Why should a disabled mother not be allowed to feed in the car on the way to/from somewhere?

Why does it make more sense when people are waiting? I don't thinkk anyone should hog any space to feed a baby. Babies can wait a very short while for food with no harm done. If OP was going into the shops, rathan coming away I say no probs as she woulld be using the facilities to which the CP was attached, however, as she had alllready used them, she had no right to prevent others from doing so. BTW, you did make sound as though you coulld only feed in the car. DC's do not rulle my llife, they are a wonderful part of it but they are not the be all and end all. My DC would have been made to wait a few mins i'm afraid.

In going into the shops with the older DCs the bb space was being used correctlly, once they were alll back inside that was not so

The problem is the lack of spaces - if there are plentiful spaces to park no one will worry about how many minutes it takes you to fed your baby/ secure the children in your car/ check that all the shopping bags are properly loaded/ find the radio station you wish to listen too/ scratch your bottom/ check your make-up/ etc. before you pull out of the parking space...

But for someone sitting in a car, going round and round trying to find somewhere to park, then whatever someone else in a car, in a parking space is doing, becomes verrryyyy interesting and they are utter utter bastards for not immediately vacating their space and letting you park, because you are not here because you enjoy driving round and round car parks y'know!

I do understand - that is not the same as agreeing with the point being made.

Bigmouth, I didn't sayy yyou have to agree and I takke you point, I was merely reasponding to your jibe about willfullness makking my points less valid

Nolittle. How do my words suggest I can only feed my baby in the car? I said I am a BB holder, and sometimes feed my baby in the car

It seems that your argument hinges on the idea that feeding a baby immediately before going into a shopping centre forms part of the 'shopping outing' while feeding a baby immediately after going into a shopping centre does not. I, and most others on the thread, disagree.

You haven't said if you think I am misusing my BB by occasionally feeding my baby in the car.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones no I wouldn't be happy but wouldn't make a scene

The meaning of the verb to park is to leave in a certain place temporarily. Not feed a baby. A parked car taking up a parking space is literallly a car left there. Not a place for feeding a baby. I think it's selfish and inconsiderate.

Bedhopper, I don't see what you're on about. I have explained what I think about Op's actions if you did the same I would feel the same. Feeding before shopping is different because you woulld be using the space for the llegitimate purpose, after the purpose [shopping] is done, you would not. Disagree away, and I shall disagree with you.

PS it's a dirty trick to goad someone into talking about your situation without more detail

Again you missed the point of Bigmouth's post so she is clearly right about it being wilful.

Some people do not feel validated unless they have had the last word in threads like this. I suggest we allow for NoLittle's insecurities and award her this honour. There seems little point in going round in circles while such skewed logic is being applied.

I'll be taking my own advice and hiding this thread now as it has become utterly pointless.

I just hope you chose your next soapbox with a little more care and compassion, NoLittle. Much as you like to belittle this forum, it can be a lifeline to those who are less convinced of their own infallibility.

Vivienne Mary, I think I love you!

Goldmara, as you are so superior, prey tell me what I've missed