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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to have fed my baby here?

999 replies

ariane5 · 03/12/2012 11:08

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 04/12/2012 13:12

It was subsequent posts where people were saying I jad breached bb rules and could technically lose bb for this if reported. Even leaving the car park was lengthy it was so packed took a good 5 mins to get out of ther when we did finally leave.ds2 was starving and crying when we got to car that 5 mins out of car park plus journey home would have made him even worse. I understand it is hard to work out why I did this without knowing what condition my dcs have but their medical info is very complicated I do not feel able to go into that sort of personal and upsetting detail here.

OP posts:
NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:16

No more details needed OP, and I hope you can see I was not attacking you or your DC's. If I made you feel awkward, then I apologise, that was never intended, but I stand by my opinions and posts.

theonewiththenoisychild · 04/12/2012 13:17

yanbu you dont have to leave the space as soon as you get back to the car

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:17

I never said you should or would lose the BB btw.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 13:17

ariane, you were not being unreasonable.

I would just trust in the majority of posters responses here, and Sock's reassurance that you didn't break the BB rules, and put the whole incident out of your mind.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:18

Theone, stop stirring the shit now, we've been over that point a hundred times!

MsElleTow · 04/12/2012 13:18

To whoever said I have no knowledge of BF Hmm I do actually! I BF both my DC, and unfortunately at times they both did have to wait occasionally for a feed. It is not always humanly possible to feed them right away, every time! And my DC are now almost 16 & 18 next week and are completely undamaged from having to wait for their dinner every now and then!

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:19

SabrinaMulhollandJjones OP was NU IYHO!

theonewiththenoisychild · 04/12/2012 13:20

ive only just logged in and this was on the front page of the app hardly stiring havent even read the whole thread yet

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:20

MS have these on me Thanks

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:21

theonewiththenoisychild then don't post til you know what has already been covered simples!

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:24

How have I behaved appallingly then nolittle. None of my posts have been deleted.

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:26

Elle - the baby had to wait until they got back to the car. You can't expect a baby that is already screaming to wait half an hour, that is way more than "a little".

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:27

True, but you have attacked and belittled my hard earned professional knowledge.

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:31

No I haven't, I have taken exception to you using some knowledge in one specific area to deliberately and calculatedly attack a vulnerable person of the kind your "professional knowledge" is meant to be used to help and further than that, your glib expression that doing so is fun for you.

Goldmandra · 04/12/2012 13:31

OP you've had your answer from a clear majority and some added reassurance from someone who administers this system.

The fact that the matter is close to the edge of being reasonable is the reason why you cake here to ask for clarification and reassurance and the reason why some people feel they need to disagree with the majority.

Don't feel obliged to clarify anything else. It is far more important to protect your children's anonymity than it is to pacify people who are getting pleasure from arguing.

I think you should consider hiding this thread because I am sure you have quite enough on your plate without the added stress of reading the kind of comments being made on here.

Please don't let this thread or the idiot who shouted at you put you off taking your children out again. Also don't let them put you off doing what you feel is right in order to meet the needs of all of your children.

theonewiththenoisychild · 04/12/2012 13:31

not going to argue about it dont have time to read a long thread right now just popped on here to destressHmm

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:31

Elle woulld make her own kids wait though, so she's not expecting OP to have done something she wouldn't

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:34

Her own special needs kids, all four of them who all suffer from the same condition as the op's children and she would have made them wait half an hour a minimum of 5mins after they started screaming?

It isn't the same situation. I don't know why you and Elle can't leave it to the op, who is the only one in full possession of the facts, to make decisions about what is best for her children and family.

MsElleTow · 04/12/2012 13:35

I didn't say make him wait for half an hour, I said I would have found somewhere else in the vicinity. I have had to make my DC wait when we were travelling on the motorway, because you can't just pull over.

I think the OP would have had other options, but she just didn't explore them. I think what she did was selfish, you don't.

Goldmandra · 04/12/2012 13:35

I should destress elsewhere if I were you, theone. You'll just add to it if you stick around and read the rest of the thread.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/12/2012 13:36

OP I would echo what Goldmantra has said too - you don't need to explain yourself to posters on here who are gleefully using your thread as 'sport' and unashamedly admitting it.

QuickLookBusy · 04/12/2012 13:38

Yanbu

The alternative was for you to have all got back out of the car and fed the baby in the shopping centre-so you wouldn't have freed the space up anyway.

Or you could have followed one of the other stupid suggestions, feed whilst driving alongAngry, park on a double yellow line, meaning you are parking in a very busy, dangerous spot. Both very silly suggestions, to be ignored.

OP you made the right decision to feed your DS, whilst ensuring the rest of the family were calm and safe. Don't feel guilty about this, you did the correct thing.

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:38

Ok so can you accept that there was not anywhere else to fees because that is what the op said?

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:40

The other place to feed would have been going back into the shopping centre with all the children or alternatively not going to the car in the first place with nowhere to stop which is perfectly possible as many shopping centres are off main routes with no stopping.