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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to have fed my baby here?

999 replies

ariane5 · 03/12/2012 11:08

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
JugglingWithPossibilities · 04/12/2012 12:41

YANBU - you have a blue badge and can do anything you please whilst parked there. Also agree would be dangerous to BF whilst DH was driving, and slightly dangerous to drive with a screaming and hungry baby in the car. She should have minded her own business really, though I guess fair enough to ask, but she should def have accepted your perfectly reasonable answer, and been more understanding and supportive.

MistressIggi · 04/12/2012 12:42

(Thought this was NoLittle's first AIBU?)

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:42

No little because when someone asked you up thread about your knowledge of the research you weren't aware and because of your consistent insistence that the op could move.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:43

And if you don't know the dx you cannot state, as you have repeatedly done, that the need was not a disability related need can you?

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:44

Offered, just how have you assesed my knowledge of Bfing btw? What if the couple waiting were not Christian, should they not go out and do othings over Christmas? Grin

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:46

The DC does not have feeding issues, he would be fed regardless, but if the DX complicated matters and required positioning and or equipment I would have understood!

Afrodizzywonders · 04/12/2012 12:46

Difference is nolittle, I don't come on here to patronise and frighten posters in respect ofmlosing their BB for feeding their baby in a parking bay after they've taken their children with disabilities out to see Santa. Takes a certain sort of person I think to do that and thankfully, no many are on this thread....just. Teeny weeny minority of wind up merchants. Xmas Biscuit

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:47

Mistress it is, why

TuftyFinch · 04/12/2012 12:47

Really with this? Still?
It was fine to feed your baby.

Afrodizzywonders · 04/12/2012 12:48

MistriasIggi - it's just sport remember! At the expense of a decent person who went out for the day with their kids.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:48

offered, so because I haven't done academeic research into BF, I have no knowledge for alll you know I could live in a shoe and have EBF all my DCs!

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:51

Afro, it is sport, when it's so easy. It's not a OP's expense, we shookk hands last night and I have more adquately explained my position to her and she graciously saw it. If you guys give the rope, what do you expect?

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:54

Afro, I thinkk you are VVV patronising myself [OP is brave and decent she has DCs with SN llets canonise her immediatelly yadah yadah] and I never said she would lose the BB

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:55

Mistress stilll don't get you 1st AIBU comment

MistressIggi · 04/12/2012 12:56

Nolittle - this is trollish behaviour. Which is not allowed on MN, I believe. Perhaps you should read talk guidelines. (Which also state not to trollhunt, but I hope I am merely giving a fellow mumsnetter some friendly advice).

squeakytoy · 04/12/2012 12:59

The main problem here is that this was in a busy carpark at the busiest shopping time of year.

The next person wanting to use the bay could not have just "waited", as this would have held up a long queue of traffic. Would anyone else have wanted to spend 15 minutes clocking up parking fees while someone sat in their car feeding a baby.

Disability is not the issue here, consideration for others is.

Lots of cars milling around a car park trying to spot spaces when it is difficult to find one, and one car and it's occupants are sat there would be frustrating for everyone. Much easier to drive off and find somewhere to pull up outside the car park.

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:00

No nolittle I'm saying know the limitations of your knowledge and I apply that comment very widely to all you say.

I think you have behaved appallingly on this thread btw. To make your points it was completely unnecessary to be so joyful about causing others to be upset and frightened.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:01

I am no Troll, I just have strong and passionate beliefs, as many of you seem to. I have not attacked OP, we shookk hands and she tookk my points. I have explained all of my reasons as to why I think she was wrong, if anything I think I have been the one being attacked. Having my professionall knowlledge questioned and ridiculed in some cases. Thank you for the advice though [smille]

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:02

Squeaky - you can't say that disability was not the issue. You don't know what condition the dcs have.

musicismylife · 04/12/2012 13:03

OP, why didn't you just move out of the car park? I don't understand why you would not get your husband to move the car, park up anywhere else and feed the baby. I just don't get it...

squeakytoy · 04/12/2012 13:04

The disability wasnt the issue. The same would have applied to any of the parking spaces on a very busy day.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:06

Offered, I repeat, the OP and I shook hands and she took my point, if she had expressed fright I woulld have apologised. Re my knowledge I woulld bet my llas penny that my knowlledge of the jp of disabillity law is a darn sight broader and deeper than yours. I thinkk you just don't like me as I don't share your views. Que sera sera

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:07

It is the person using the space's judgement that we need to trust btw. I can't see why anybody should have to indulge in, as the op says, "disability top trumps" over spaces. Can we not assume that someone in the space has a reason for being in it? Can we not express politely if we have a need they might need to consider above theirs and leave them alone if they don't move at the very worst? Why is shouting at a bf'ding mother with four children in a disabled bay ever ok?

Offred · 04/12/2012 13:09

I'm not talking to you about your knowledge of disability law though nolittle, although your written posts do show some common mistakes in interpretation of the law. If you were really all that knowledgeable you would know it is almost always a mistake to describe a piece of law as "clear" especially when it actually isn't.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 13:11

Shouting is never Ok, asking pollitely is always ok, as is politelly being told no. FWIW, I thinkkk you have behaved apallingly too, Offered.

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