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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to have fed my baby here?

999 replies

ariane5 · 03/12/2012 11:08

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Offred · 04/12/2012 12:21

And I'm not saying it is easy. I'm saying that in the circumstances it could be assumed that it would not be possible to find a toilet urgently and that as it is your bladder it is reasonable to expect you to plan for this and not expect your need to trump anyone else's (without even bothering to find out what their needs are).

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:23

Offered, I know it's my bladder, and make adjustments to my fluid intake accordingly, but thanks for the reminder.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:24

So what is your point about your bladder then?

MsElleTow · 04/12/2012 12:24

And to a many a disabled person a BB space is a necessary part of getting out. Some people would have to go home of they can't find one. The OP's DH could have moved the car because they didn't need that space for those 20 mins! Yes it could be argued that had she have stayed in the shops she couldn't have moved, but she didn't so she could!

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:25

Except she did need that space because there wasn't anywhere else for her to move to.

Afrodizzywonders · 04/12/2012 12:26

To you perhaps, but not to the majority on here.

Perhaps it's time to not give NoLittle any more 'sport' Wink

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:27

Offered, my point is that after living with my condition all of my life, I am well aware of what I can do to try to reduce the impact of it, however, I will only ever be able to reduce that impact.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:27

I think people forget that being fed is extremely essential to a 7 month old, in all likelihood much more essential than any reason any person would ever go to a shopping centre.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:28

So how is that relevant to the op?

megandraper · 04/12/2012 12:28

Ha ha, think Socrates would struggle with some on here! Logic is not for everyone. I agree, Afro, time to bow out.

OP, you acted rightly. Please don't be put off future outings.

Allonsy · 04/12/2012 12:28

Not read all the posts but YANBU you clearly needed to use the space it made no odds if you were in the shops still or in the car either way the space was occupied. Everyone is ratty at the time of year finding any spaces are a nightmare for everyone you have no reason to feel guilty.

Any suggestion that a baby should be fed while moving is ridicuous, be it breast or bottle its dangerous.

MsElleTow · 04/12/2012 12:29

I don't believe that within a 3or 4 minute drive there wasn't anywhere else where she could have fed the baby, TBH. Had the baby started screaming when the DC were seeing Santa she would have made it wait, if they had been speeding down the motorway it would have had to wait.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:31

Afro, why spoil my fun. I can't help people getting wound up and overly involved in stuff they don't understand, but feel the need to go on about to make themselves seem all lefty, tolerant and accepting whilst at the same time slagging people off for feeding their kids a Pot Noodle.

EldritchCleavage · 04/12/2012 12:31

It is bizarre that people are still saying the OP and her DH should have moved the car, when really the whole point of the thread is that there wasn't anywhere to move the car.

The OP has always accepted that if there had been an alternative to remaining in the disabled space they would have taken it. However, there were no spaces, and nowhere to pull over once they had left the car park.

I think to one or two dissenting posters this thread has been about having a ruck, not debating the issue.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:32

Then you don't understand that it is a. Dangerous to drive with a screaming baby unnecessarily and b. may be impossible to feed a baby (even one who does not have special needs) once it reaches screaming levels c. The damage letting a baby get to screaming level can do.

In reality these people were annoyed because they wanted to do their Christmas shopping and there were no spaces, if they had a need they would have stated it if they were willing to shout at the op.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:33

Offered, I was using my situation to explain to Op why I thought she unreasonable to hold up a space. The only unreasonable opinion is an unexplained one.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:34

Offered, how do you know why other people were annoyed, are you psychic?

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:34

Ironic nolittle ironic, just how have you managed to assess the needs of the op's children from the Internet with no knowledge of breastfeeding and no knowledge of the genetic condition which they all suffer from?

threesocksfullofchocs · 04/12/2012 12:35

why is it bizarre to say the op and her dh should have moved the car?
there were no other spaces, so they were hogging a needed BB bay.
I do love the way the people needing the bay are judge as "just want to do their christmas shopping" how do you know that?

MistressIggi · 04/12/2012 12:35

It takes me 3 or 4 minutes to drive out of the bloody carpark, usually.
If baby cried while waiting for Santa, I imagine she would have fed him, why not?

(off to cuddle my baby, as all this "make them wait!" talk is making me sad!)

Afrodizzywonders · 04/12/2012 12:39

MistressIggi - I agree.

Carry on with you're 'fun' nolittle, you must be very bored!

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:39

Offered, from the information Op chose to give, and how the af do you know I have no knowledge of BF Confused I never claimed to know about the individual DX, but the OP's info was enough to judge the scenario. Or is the point of AIBU not to canvas opininions and judgement anymore?

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 04/12/2012 12:40

As must you Afro to reply ....Wink

MistressIggi · 04/12/2012 12:40

Sorry that was to MrsElleTow.

Offred · 04/12/2012 12:41

Because they shouted at the op but didnt mention a disability related need for the space and because I can't see why anyone would need to go right into a busy shopping centre multi-storey in the run up to Christmas for any other reason. It would make sense to try and avoid being dependent on going there for anything else at that time if you had difficulty travelling/moving around.

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