to have fed my baby here?

[ariane5]

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

Feeding was not disability related! and in RL babies have to wait sometimes, Op had other options if necessary. What about my need of and right to dignity sherry, do you not see that? It's sad OP finds things hard but she is not the only one and being a lactating mother to kids with disabilities does not give her the right to do as she pleases, anymore than my disability would give me the right to eat a sandwich in the car, whilst others were waiting, even though I struggle to eat 'tidily' because of it, and would feel more comfortable doing it in private. Also why do you think all people with disabilities have to be nice/ compassionate, we are not saints and nor should we be treated as such!

OP world's smallest violin was directed at you not the DC's you have to make the best of it and have a grab the world by the balls attitude, otherwise you would feel sad forever and get nothing done or changed. That's just how I feel, you've got to reliquish sympathy from society to make your Dc's place in it more equal I've found, that's what DM has taught me,

OP, Nolittle expects that rather than feed your screaming and distressed baby in the car, in the space that you were entitled to use, you should have waited in a queue with your disabled children for a spot in a cafe in a crowded and over stimulating environment with your baby screaming all the while getting more and more distressed. OR that you should have sat on the floor with your disabled children. OR that you should have parked dangerously and illegally to feed your baby with your disabled children and faced the possibility of having to move the car quickly with the baby not strapped in. OR you should have driven home with the baby distressed and screaming, which is not only distressing for your baby, but I can imagine would be dangerously distracting and distressing for your disabled children. The baby's condition will have a big effect on the welfare of your other children too. If they weren't with you, it would have been much easier for you to just feed somewhere else but it doesn't really work that way does it? The blue badge is there to enable your family to live as close to normality as possible and to HELP your kids get out of the house, which it did. Without having got the space so you could feed the baby you wouldn't have been able to take them out at all.

It would have been perfectly reasonable to feed the baby in the car with the kids there using it as a quiet spot then gone back to the shops to carry on with your day! It's understandable that people were frustrated that they couldn't get a space, but that's not your problem. Don't feel guilty about inconveniencing others who didn't get there as early, be proud that you managed to get the kids out for the day. I don't like the way people are suggesting you just let the baby scream for however long it takes to get somewhere safe to feed. The baby is a person too. Why should it put up with discomfort just because it's not an adult?

Also, OP, you sound like a nice considerate person. I bet that if the people waiting to use the space had let you know that there was a medical emergency you'd have moved, but that wasn't the case was it? They were just impatient to get into the space you were perfectly entitled to be using. They were no more entitled to it than you and the sane majority seem to understand that.

You would think that ryledup but nolittle will be back with another post soon enough!

All bb holders are deserving of a bb space, but some more deserving than others

Mackchu I never said they should find a cafe once. I did say, as others have, they could have moved the car! no waiting required for anyone then!

Spoke too soon

But she's already said she couldn't move the car. Where was she supposed to move it to?

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf never said that either, just said she shouldn't hold up the space when she could have moved away. Or is the baby Jesus?

err out of the carpark???

But she couln't move away. There was nowhere to move the car to.

Nolittle will have the google map up of where op was and will be suggesting the places she could have stopped next.

Nolittle with respect you were not there, you do not have intimate knowledge of the car park set up. We only have what the op has told us to go on. You seem to think making up scenarios constitutes fact.

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf what is your problem, can I not express my views? That is what OP has done on a public forum no less, or can you only join in if share your view? Need to know for future posts

She couldnt move the car. She had the children in it to keep them safe whilst she fed the baby. She had nowhere else to go and she was parked in a place that they were entitled to park in. This isnt just a breastfeeding issue, its an issue about keeping her other children with disabilities safe whilst she tended to the younger one. What part of that exactly do you not understand???

Presumably if it was that busy in the shopping centre that there was no where to park in the car park they'd have had to drive around for a long time out of it before they could park anywhere outside it on a busy shopping day close to Christmas.

Nolittle so you would double park your car so you could use the facilities. Would you expect other people to hurl abuse at you because you were stopping them driving around the car park/getting in or out of a space because you had an essential need?!!! The baby NEEDED feeding. You obvi

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf neither were you. What made up scenarios? suggestions, yes, made up no.

No I suppose feeding was not DIRECTLY disability related but ds2 is very hard to feed esp if he is overtired and crying.he was tube fed initially as was very ill at birth and still cannot have any solids so milk is his only food and whilst it is not a huge issue it is still significant to me I do get stressed when he is hungry I don't like him waiting and screaming.if we could have moved we would have but there was no option to and it does upset me to get shouted at Iam not a confrontational person at all.

OP world's smallest violin was directed at you not the DC's you have to make the best of it and have a grab the world by the balls attitude, otherwise you would feel sad forever and get nothing done or changed. That's just how I feel, you've got to reliquish sympathy from society to make your Dc's place in it more equal I've found, that's what DM has taught me

Your DM may have done better to have taught you a little more tolerance and compassion. You're needs do not morally override the needs of others automatically because you are an adult with a disability.

The OP would not have been using that space any less by remaining in the shopping centre to feed her baby. She would still have been using an accessible parking space for longer in order to meet the needs of someone who was not entitled to a blue badge. Where she was sitting while she fulfilled those needs is irrelevant. Whichever venue she chose she did not have the option to move the car before feeding the baby.

If it is OK to remain in a space while others consume food it is also OK to remain in the space while the baby does the same. Our society has no unwritten rules which stipulate that parking spaces in shopping centres are only to be used by people making purchases.

Chunkychicken as I have pointed out I would ask where else to park, but yes I would do that and put up with abuse, rather than piss myself

You obviously have never had a screaming hungry baby then - the crying goes through you like a knife, you get anxious & can't concentrate on anything else and can even end up soaked in milk & have the embarrasment of walking around in wet & stained clothing...

(Sorry for 2 posts, posting on my phone whilst bfing my DS...)

I have no problem, do you?

Surely then nolittle you would think the ABUSER was BU not YOU??!! So why is the OP BU to use the space as she sees fit?

Hope you aren't in a bb space chunky! Nolittle might need it!

Glaikit

Goldmandra, I never said my needs over ride anyones when there are no other options, but when there are, and were, then they do, as anyone else would override mine in a similar situation. I'd rather have guts and be ballsy than be pathetic, so I think DM has done a brilliant job, I have achieved as much and more than most of my able bodied peers, which considering my difficulties is amazing.

Nolittle you have stated that the op was in breach of bb guidelines. Can you please provide the link that shows this.