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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have fed my baby here?

999 replies

ariane5 · 03/12/2012 11:08

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 20:49

SamSmalaidh: For the last time if she's not in the car she can't move it! If she is she can! I support BF for those who want to, I couldn't give a shiny shite if I could see her BFing or not. I just don't think she should have hogged the space to feed the baby if it was not SN related.

SamSmalaidh · 03/12/2012 20:53

You're not making sense though nolittle - you don't mind her hogging the space (which she has paid for) to feed the baby inside the shopping centre, but you do mind her hogging the space for exactly the same amount of time in the car.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 20:53

FWIW I don't think OP would be right to hog any space for feeding, it's a car park not a feeding park afterall

Original poster
ariane5 · 03/12/2012 20:56

If that is th case then I choose to define my family as a 'disabled family' therefore feeding ds2 was attending to a need of a member of my disabled family.

OP posts:
NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 20:57

If she's in the shops she Can't move the car, unless she's magic! Out of the shops she could move out of the space, park on the verge, feed and go home!! I don't get what you don't understand. If she hadn't finished shopping she could have fed him inside and I would have supported her in that. If she's not in the car holding up as space I couldn't give a monkies what she was doing!

LemonBreeland · 03/12/2012 21:00

I can't believe anyone can say YABU to this.

So next time the OP should sit on a bench inside the shopping centre to feed her baby just so nobody can see her taking up the parking space for longer than necessary? Ludicrous.

OP YANBU at all.

SamSmalaidh · 03/12/2012 21:01

Well there you go OP - if this happens again and the baby needs a feed just as you've got to the car, get everyone out and go back inside to feed so you won't be "holding up a space". And take your time Wink

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:01

ariane5 He would need to be fed disabled or not, and I am offended that you, as a parent think it's ok to trivialise such an important and hard fought for distinction TBH. You have not said or suggested he has feeding issues so 'disabled family' or not makes no difference. Read up on disability politics and culture then will talk, you won't think it's so funny when your DCs are older Angry

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:01

we'll not willl

YoHoHoAndABottleOfSherry · 03/12/2012 21:01

But she couldn't move the car, because there was nowhere to move it to. The family still needed the space.

And for all anyone knew, the family could have just arrived, and were feeding the baby in the calm privacy of their own car rather than the crowded, overstimulating shopping centrebefore going into the shops. Would that have been OK?

It is extremely stressful to drive with a baby who is screaming to be fed, and much more sensible and much safer to feed before moving off.

And comments like it's not a feeding park are breathtakingly offensive.

Original poster
ariane5 · 03/12/2012 21:02

Nolittle-THERE WAS NOWHERE INSIDE TO FEED.it was packed.benches full.cafes full.we have a double buggy a single and have to watch dd1 very carefully as she often collapses it was just too busy for us inside the shopping centre and ds2 was v grumpy.

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 03/12/2012 21:02

Nolittle-THERE WAS NOWHERE INSIDE TO FEED.it was packed.benches full.cafes full.we have a double buggy a single and have to watch dd1 very carefully as she often collapses it was just too busy for us inside the shopping centre and ds2 was v grumpy.

OP posts:
SamSmalaidh · 03/12/2012 21:03

Disabled parking spaces aren't just for doing disabled activities Hmm

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:04

SamSmalaidh: I have a feeling that you are being deliberately obtuse and I likke it! Grin

merrymouse · 03/12/2012 21:04

What verge?

I can't understand the logic that its better for BB holder A to sit in a cafe and take up a space for half an hour to feed a baby (because that kind of thing never takes 10 minutes with 3 other children) than it is for BB holder B to sit in a car for 10 minutes.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:06

but it's not a feeding park, and she had finished her transaction with the facility which provides the car park. Genuine question, what is so offensive about 'it's not a feeding park' let alone, breathtakingly so?

BigBirdisSaved · 03/12/2012 21:08

The woman who got all shouty wouldn't have got the space if she had moved anyway, it would have been the polite couple.

OP, you are fine, someone got their knickers in a twist. The shouty lady had no idea what your DCs issues are and was overstepping... especially when you had to pay for the space.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:08

Pedantry strikes again merrymouse: kerb, edge, most car parks have such things, a space not used for parking.

merrymouse · 03/12/2012 21:09

I would imagine that the disabilities of her children impact on all areas of ariane5's life, including when and where she can feed her baby.

YoHoHoAndABottleOfSherry · 03/12/2012 21:10

She hadn't "finished her transaction with the facility."
She still needed to use it.

Original poster
ariane5 · 03/12/2012 21:11

Iam not trivialising it at all.dd1 is 11 so I have some idea what it is like to have an older disabled child and it is no fun.It is irrelevant exactly what any of the dcs issues are, they all have serious problems due to their condition and I don't feel comfortabl going through their whole medical history, they have serious mobility issues and other problems one of which does affect their digestive tract but that is not th point.

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 03/12/2012 21:11

Iam not trivialising it at all.dd1 is 11 so I have some idea what it is like to have an older disabled child and it is no fun.It is irrelevant exactly what any of the dcs issues are, they all have serious problems due to their condition and I don't feel comfortabl going through their whole medical history, they have serious mobility issues and other problems one of which does affect their digestive tract but that is not th point.

OP posts:
BigBirdisSaved · 03/12/2012 21:11

we have a double buggy a single and have to watch dd1 very carefully as she often collapses it was just too busy for us inside the shopping centre

So there, she had a disabled reason to feed in the car, to help keep her blue badge holding DD safe. Happy now?!

FGS.

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere · 03/12/2012 21:11

SamSmalaidh: Firstly, wtaf is a disabled activity an activity that doesn't do what other activities do? Secondly, if they aren't designated to attend to the needs of the disabled, why designated them at all [confuse]

BigBirdisSaved · 03/12/2012 21:12

I don't feel comfortabl going through their whole medical history

You shouldn't have to! Noone should have to trot out their medical history to justify themselves.