Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give a v. small Christmas gift to DD's Muslim teacher?

68 replies

bowerbird · 02/12/2012 16:39

Just that really. Have usually given a very small gift (a little bauble for the tree, or some homemade ginger biscuits) with a card made by DD to the teacher at Christmas break. DD's teacher this year is fantastic and an observant Muslim.

Would like to give her something, if only to mark the holidays and say thank you, have a nice break etc., but don't wish to offend. Any advice, particularly from Muslim MNers?

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 02/12/2012 16:41

Why not get her a "Happy Holidays" present? Some home made biscuits would be good. Nothing with alcohol/christmas connotations.

DS1's lovely muslim teacher gave his entire class happy Eid presents which taught them that its nice to celebrate all types of celebrations with the class.

hattymattie · 02/12/2012 16:42

I think it is the thought that counts and it's a lovely gesture - I wouldn't be offended at all.

poppycat04 · 02/12/2012 16:43

I think it's a lovely gesture. I'm sure she would be very pleased. Just a couple of things that I'm sure you already know, but no alcohol and make sure the ingredients are suitable for vegetarians if you do make biscuits. Oh and she probably won't have a Christmas tree.

CailinDana · 02/12/2012 16:46

I'm not Muslim but I know from working with Muslim people that most are perfectly happy to observe Christmas in a non-religious way and to get involved in the festive side of it. In the last school I taught in the vast majority of the children were Sikh/Muslim/Hindu and yet we still had a tree, did a Christmas concert, the whole shebang and their parents were perfectly happy with that.

Lavenderhoney · 02/12/2012 16:46

I gave ours (ta) a happy holidays card and a gift wrapped in non Santa paper. The teacher who is not got a Christmas card and a Santa wrapped gift. Both v happy:)

It's a nice thing to do, it's a good time to show appreciation.

fortyplus · 02/12/2012 16:47

I always used to let my 2 choose their own gifts for their teachers. When ds1 was in year 2 he insisted on buying his Muslim teacher a church tealight holder. She wrote a very sweet thank you letter saying 'thank you for the cottage candle holder - I have put it on my kitchen window sill where it looks very pretty' Smile

TrazzleMISTLEtoes · 02/12/2012 16:47

Obviously this doesn't count for everyone, but all the Hindus and Muslims I know have a Christmas tree and exchange small gifts on Christmas Day.

It's the thought that counts. No one I know would be offended by being offered a Christmas present.

fortyplus · 02/12/2012 16:49

ps I have Muslim friends who give eachother wrapped presents at Christmas and have turkey (smeared with tikka paste because plain turkey is too boring!)

fortyplus · 02/12/2012 16:50

pps would you be offended if a Muslim friend gave you a present at Eid? Of course not! Smile

TeaBrick · 02/12/2012 16:50

My Muslim neighbours sent Christmas cards to the whole street (and were the only neighbours to do so as far as I know).

Original poster
bowerbird · 02/12/2012 16:52

Thanks all you lovely people for taking the time to respond.

OP posts:
catgirl1976geesealaying · 02/12/2012 17:15

YANBU - I'm sure it will be fine

The two Muslim people I work with join in Secret Santa, come to the Christmas party and are happy to recieve Christmas cards and gifts etc

lovebunny · 02/12/2012 17:18

you could always ask him/her if it would be ok.

BegoniaBampot · 02/12/2012 17:19

I collected for a class Christmas present for the teachers. The TA was Muslim but we didn't want to miss her out and she seemed pleased at the thought. Guess it is a bit strange as the school celebrated most religious and cultural holidays equally and don't even know if the majority of pupils were Christian.

MrsMushroom · 02/12/2012 17:27

God I never thought. I've helped DD aged 4 write cards for her classmates and we have included her little Muslim friend. Is that not on?

BegoniaBampot · 02/12/2012 17:32

Depends on the parents, but my friends are strict Muslim but always send us a Christmas card and some chocs or such. They also have no problem with their kids being involved in the nativity play in the choir or narrating etc so I doubt they would be offended if their child got a Christmas card.

witchface · 02/12/2012 17:37

I got sweeties for eid once, was a very nice surprise! Im sure it would be the same the other way round.

mato3 · 02/12/2012 17:42

I'm a Muslim and although I would accept the gifts, card out of politeness i would be very uneasy to do so.

Why don't you give the teacher a gift at the end of the school year that way you are not associating it with Christmas.

amirah85 · 02/12/2012 17:44

I am muslim,I don't celebrate christmas but wouldn't find it offensive at all to receive a card/present for other religions festivals.

GrrrArghZzzzYaayforall8nights · 02/12/2012 17:49

How lovely! A gift is always good, and the thank you sentiment always appreciated. I would bend to make it more of a thank you gift with non-Christmas wrapping.

I don't celebrate Christmas, and am not offended by presents at this time. Presents are fun - I give some out during my holidays and teach my children and try to live by the idea of helping everyone to celebrate their own identity.

The only time I've been upset is by people who were real knobs about it (sadly, there are too many of these) - Those that go on and on about, or try to convince me on what I'm missing (I have festivals almost every month but I think people would think it odd if we tried to tell the majority what they are missing out on with only 2 a year) or rudely going "Here's your not Christmas gift". Remarks about my poor kids (or even worse, remarks to my kids Angry) upset me most. Or those who refuse to call holidays by their proper names, instead going [religion/culture]'s Christmas which makes me kinda erased and in the mood to give people a long history lesson. (Blush sorry for rant, I've had a few of these lately!].

Your gift is through kindness, I'm sure it will be fine. I find sparkly paper works for all backgrounds Smile.

Chandon · 02/12/2012 17:55

Dinky, why isit nice of the teacher to hand out things to celebrate Eid, yet we would offend her if we would give her something to do with Christmas?

If you lived in a Muslim country, would you be offended if someone gave you an Eid related gift?

What I am really asking is, are we not beg Overly Sensitive on behalf of someone else?

Imo, I would be happy to receive an Eid related gift, but I would not be offended. Neither would I expect a Muslim friend or teacher to be offended if I gave them a Christmas card ( maybe not a religiously themed picture or message on it though). i men, is Christmas in itslef that offensive? Have not experienced that myself.

Kleinzeit · 02/12/2012 18:04

I am not Christian, nor from a Christian background, and I would far prefer to be given a ?Christmas? gift than a ?holiday? gift. A Christmas gift is gracious because it is being given by a Christian. The assumption that all other religions have a holiday at Christmastime is just crass.

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 18:07

I would give her a packet of fresh dates all Muslims I know LOVE dates.

MadamFolly · 02/12/2012 18:15

That's a funny stereotype dinky

No idea if it's true.

whois · 02/12/2012 18:17

People at work handed round sweets for divali, eid etc and aren't offended by Christmas connotations. It's nice to involve others in celebrations.

I think giving a gift and a 'thanks' card would be appreciated.