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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To write to the school about these disgusting graffiti/doodles inside toilet cubicles

59 replies

Fakebook · 01/12/2012 21:42

Dd attends an out of school activity on a Saturday morning in another school. It is a secondary school.

Today she wanted to use the loos before we left so I took her in and waited outside the cubicle.

She is 5 years old and has recently started "sounding out the words" and can read a lot of easy 3-4 letter words. She gets really proud when she reads something and so do I. Except for today.

On the cubicle walls someone had written sex, fuck, gay fucker, sexy gay....just an endless amount of the word "sex" combined with other terms. As dd was doing her business she sounded out the word and said "sex". When I told her to quieten down she said it again and asked me why I'm telling her to be quiet.

Now I know sex isn't a swear word, but it's not something I want to talk to my 5 year old about yet. Ofcourse I will talk to her openly about these things when she's older, but at 5 she is too young. I'm really angry. I don't know why. But I am. I suppose I'm angry because my innocent little pfb read something that shouldn't have been there.

My DH thinks I should phone up the school and tell them to clean it. Part of me thinks We're overreacting. Any views on this?

OP posts:
FromEsme · 01/12/2012 21:43

Yeah I think you should definitely tell them.

pELFicFloorClenchReminder · 01/12/2012 21:44

I would contact the school and let them know, I'd be angry too.

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 21:44

There were also some unsavoury drawings, drawn by someone who was talentless but I could still make out breasts and penises on close inspection. It really should be cleaned shouldn't it?

OP posts:
OpheliaPayneAgain · 01/12/2012 21:45

I hope you never have to use public toilets .....

nellyjelly · 01/12/2012 21:45

Agree.

Btw fromesme is it with love and squalor? Salinger fan?

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 21:47

Ophelia, I'd expect something like that in a public toilet. Not in a school toilet.

OP posts:
Celticlassie · 01/12/2012 21:50

Sounds like their folders. Sad

OpheliaPayneAgain · 01/12/2012 21:51

Sorry but I'm laughing here - you've obviously never been inside a secondary school!

Although - I will agree, if the school is renting its facilities out to 3rd parties, then those facilities should be fit for purpose.

Just don't do a hysterical 'my PFB saw rude words' sort of email - that will be cascaded round the staff room for amusement of all, a simple 'I thought I would tell you the toilet facilities had inappropriate graffiti that may reflect on your school reputation' and address it to the site manager.

whathasthecatdonenow · 01/12/2012 21:53

If I want to photocopy out of a textbook I have to check carefully to find one without an added penis. You should have seen what they did to the geography book which featured a double-page spread on farming...

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers · 01/12/2012 21:55

Thing is though - this is nothing new! This was the way it was 3 billion years ago when I was at school. Do as Ophelia says but don't get overly precious about it if you really feel you must do something. I wouldn't because it'll be back hours after it's all cleaned off anyway! There's nothing like something being shocking to make some teenagers want to do it all the more!

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 21:57

Yeah, okay, I can see how mentioning my dd will look a bit stupid. I'll keep it short and to the point, that they need to clean their toilet walls.

As it happens, I have been inside secondary school toilets and I've never seen such crap in my life

OP posts:
Cherylkerl · 01/12/2012 21:57

The willy ones with the drips amuse me

Simple things eh?

Cozy9 · 01/12/2012 21:58

A lot of schools have toilets in the corridor now to prevent malicious loitering.

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 21:59

Cheryl, would it amuse you if your 5 year old saw it?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 01/12/2012 22:00

While I disagree slightly with your handling of the situation as a whole, I think YANBU to speak with the school.

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 22:02

TidyDancer, how would you have handled it? Good to hear another perspective so I can try it out next time.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 01/12/2012 22:03

Sounds horrible.

Though it's likely you'll come across this again, it would have been fine to tell your DD "Yes DD that's right how you sounded it out, well done. But these are not very nice words that we don't say out loud. Someone has been very naughty writing these words here."

I know sex isn't a swear word but it's not really a nice word for a five year old to be announcing so a simple "We don't say those words" is appropriate for her age. When it comes to discussion about sex etc then you can explain how to use them appropriately.

IAmLouisWalsh · 01/12/2012 22:03

Aged 8, I read the following out loud from a public toilet wall:

No use standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump ten feet
And if you think that that is high
Go next door and the bastards fly

Then said 'why would there be crabs? We're nowhere near the sea'

GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan · 01/12/2012 22:04

Do you know what I did once?

I was a very trusted pupil, always very good, was rather clever and a teacher's pet for a few teachers. When I was 15 or so I was asked to take some supplies from one art room across the quadrangle to another during a lesson. Amongst the box of tricks were some magic marker pens.

I don't know why, but the quad was empty and I was compelled to draw a great big 6 foot high picture of a willy (including semen drips) on a wall with one of the marker pens. It was along the main thoroughfare of the school. Fuck knows why I chanced it - the quad was full of windows into corridors etc and the school had 1300 kids attending.

I still remember the glee I felt as I scampered off and the fact I kept it a secret, and the look on the (hated) caretaker's face as he painted over it (needed lots of coats, you could still see the willy).

I am still really proud nearly 20 years later.

TidyDancer · 01/12/2012 22:04

Well I wouldn't shush a child who asked about sex. That's the part I disagree with.

OpheliaPayneAgain · 01/12/2012 22:04

dare I 'lol' ?

I remember a thousand years ago (I went to a very naice girls school) going into the science lab and someone had sneaked in with the chalk and drawn a large amount of ejaculating penises on the benches with the slogan "Sperm on the loose"

chuckles at the memory

TBH if my 5yo knew what an ejaculating penis was, I'd have more of an issue what was being taught at primary level. Although I'm impressed in a society of falling literacy skills, they can read the word fucker, gay fucker.

Anyway gay in our house means happy. Grin

Cherylkerl · 01/12/2012 22:04

Not at all...I just have to work in a secondary school occasionally and I can't believe kids still do this because they're so crap which is why i as a 34 year old snigger, sorry. Wouldnt like a small dc to see it though. My school was terrible for this - are they all like it? Usually a lipstick kiss and a 'so and so loves so and so IDST', but eventually amended at a later date

Original poster
Fakebook · 01/12/2012 22:07

Yes maybe I shouldn't have told her to "shush". I was slightly taken aback by it though.

OP posts:
AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers · 01/12/2012 22:07
  • thing is, the artists probably think they're frightfully cutting edge when really they're just repeating stuff that was old already when WE were doing it! Bless 'em!
GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan · 01/12/2012 22:08

There is a bit in Michael Palin's diaries, he is looking round secondary schools in the 70s for his son, and whilst they are being shown around a very spruced up school he notices a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of a cupboard bearing the legend 'anyone who reads this is a cunt'