to wonder why DS has been sent a 'girly' birthday card again?

[CocoPopsAddict]

He is 2.

I appreciate the receiving a card, I really do, but... this couple (who are/were friends are my MIL...now deceased) did the same thing on his birthday last year.

This year's is purple with pink butterflies... last year's I don't remember well but it was pink with a picture of a girl doing something birthday-like.

Cards not received last-minute so it wasn't like they thought they'd miss the post and had to send something they already had at home. Also money (or rather, lack of) not an issue here.

Is it odd thing for them to do? Am I being unreasonably ungrateful?

Chipping bollocks. Why would you blame parents for the choices manufacturers make?

YANBU
end of

YANBU I presume you know your ds well and what he likes, if he's not into flowers and faries than it does seem a bit odd. My nephew 6 would not be happy recieving a card like that as he's into Disney cars and Micky Mouse

Oh come on - I work with many many children in the most "vunerable" age group every single day.

Manufacturers and shops respond to shopper preferences and habits, and lots of market research.

But it is just a way to sell stuff. And as consumers, we buy what we want.
You do seem to be overthinking things far too much.

Is it a card factory card? Because I buy a fivers worth of them at a time so I've always got cards in stock. At 7 for £1 you can't go wrong!

Maybe they buy their cards in bulk from somewhere and the "pink" cards are the only child like ones they've got?

MrsMushroom - what mistakes have the manufacturers made exactly?

Oh my god will the pink/ blue brigade stop being so antsy! Most people would not buy a butterfly card for a boy. Most people know it doesn't matter but there we go, this is the world we find ourselves in. Labelling toys as 'boy's' and 'girls' isn't the biggest issue. We live in a capitalist society: it's called marketing. If the pink/blue stuff was outlawed do you think the split between toys purchased for boys/girls would change? I don't think it would.

Hulababy I like you

Going to bow out for a while, time for bed, thanks all.

This couple are usually quite 'traditional' so really I guess they just sent what they have. That is why I was surprised really, it didn't seem like them to choose what I would see as a more 'modern' choice. Unless they have been on mumsnet reading up about gender-neutrality in toys, cards, etc., in which case I am in trouble!!

:)

"If the pink/blue stuff was outlawed do you think the split between toys purchased for boys/girls would change? I don't think it would"

why not? before this nonsense there people didn't buy different kinds of lego sets for girls and for boys, kids just got lego! red, yellow, blue and green lego! the same sets!

YANBU. It's kind of thoughtless.

Speaking of stupid card choices, my DD was given an adult's card for her first birthday. It was a comedy photo of a baby gurning with "another year older and still gorgeous". I mean for starters, ANOTHER year older?

hiviolet sorry but that made me lol

Aye, there's always one gets on their high horse.

Tufty - its not about pink/blue, really. Its about labelling playthings as 'for boys' and 'for girls' in cases where they really aren't - like science and construction kits. So, because we do tend to buy conventionally for children we don't know well, most of us would tend not to get a little boy a purple butterfly card - fine, doesn't matter - but also many tend not to get little girls proper science and construction toys (which every girl who gets to play with DDs likes) - they go for the designated girl toys of barbies or if you're lucky, bath bombs.

To answer the OP YANBU if the couple don't know your child well enough to know if he likes butterflies etc it is an odd choice.

With regard to the whole gender stereotyping I have b/g twins who have a range of toys that have been given to them both or separately, but we just have out as toys. From quite early on my DS showed a real preference for vehicles, lining up objects and taking things apart - putting back together eg with treasure basket items. DD again from quite young has loved dressing up (covering herself in fabric) hats, people toys (her "men"!) and how objects/things change and filling up bags/ containers.

Now at 21 months he mainly plays with the fire engine etc etc and she gets the soft toys and makes them her babies (her words).

I have consciously never said that certain toys were for boys/girls, they don't go to playgroup and all our friends have similar toys to us so cars as well as dolls. They have only very recently ever seen a tv advert (last 2 weeks).They didn't start at the childminders until 14 months and by then their separate b/g ness was already there.

I agree that there shouldn't be boys/girls toys but that's not to say that they aren't very different from a nature rather than nurture point of view.

MrsMushroom, have you shuffled off to Dadsnet? - can't believe you are even on MN to be honest, rather blatant sexism and lots more

do people really get so tied up in knots about this......??
at the end of the day, you buy your kids what they like....
really I do not see the big deal

I do this deliberately.

I look for cards away from the extreme ends of gender stereotyping, but still choose cards that are 'meant' for the other gender, or are obviously gender neutral. I do the same with gifts.

Obstreperous - would you do this regardless of the child's likes and interests?

Yes but I don't think they do. They can. But they don't have to. We can all share our 'my dd plays with diggers' stories but most people I know buy for the child not the gender. It's the adults that care not the children and as it's the children that play with them...
I'm not 'against' what you're doing but it's not like it's illegal to buy red/blue/yellow lego for a girl or a pushchair for a boy. Lego won't withdraw their 'pink' lego. It can be bought for boys.
Being ansty won't change people's perceptions because either a) you're preaching to the converted
or
b) reinforcing a different stereotype.

Yes, I don't mind pink Lego, only any marketing that says 'this is only for girls'.

DD1 got pink Meccano for Christmas from a relative one year. I at first thought 'Oh dear, it's very pink, isn't it?" But it was actually quite fun making all the models with it, and unique among her other toys.