to wonder why DS has been sent a 'girly' birthday card again?

[CocoPopsAddict]

He is 2.

I appreciate the receiving a card, I really do, but... this couple (who are/were friends are my MIL...now deceased) did the same thing on his birthday last year.

This year's is purple with pink butterflies... last year's I don't remember well but it was pink with a picture of a girl doing something birthday-like.

Cards not received last-minute so it wasn't like they thought they'd miss the post and had to send something they already had at home. Also money (or rather, lack of) not an issue here.

Is it odd thing for them to do? Am I being unreasonably ungrateful?

I loved football at school and didn't become 'girly' until I was in my 20's!

DS2 and DH wear pink sometimes but DS1 prefers blue or green.

MrsMushroom, it's not that I am ignoring it, it's really that i'm not going out looking for it. I have always encouraged my DC to just like what they like. DDs are 8 and 7. Younger one has always liked boyish stuff. By that, I mean Thomas, Sportacus from lazytown, Harry Potter. She dressed up as HP for World Book Day. As did many of her girl friends.
Have DS 1. He likes footballs and so far, hairbrushes, frozen peas and mobile phones.
Both DDs are at school. Neither have been affected enough by their peers to stop liking what they do. Do you know why? Because they have their own minds and opinions and personalities. I doubt very much that a sign in a shop saying where the boys toys and the girls toys are will change their interests.

Really tanfastic? How odd.
How did you come to the conclusion that flowers,fairies, princesses were for girls and trains, cars etc were for boys?
Hmm, could it perchance be that genderstereotyped marketing that segregates toys and activities for children into boys stuff and girls stuff? Well of course a girl can play with boys stuff, if she wants, no one is stopping her from being abnormal....if that's what she wants

I used to work as a facepainter....little boys, usually under 5 would ask to be a butterfly. About 1 in ten parents would allow this. They would say oooh no...be a tiger!

And the poor little glitter loving lad would have to give in after a few arguments. I took to saying ...what about a moth? Parents would say oh ok yes..that sounds good.

It was a blue fecking butterfly...they were happy..

I guess I have no point except for objecting to you telling me I have to ask myself why DS1 would hate a pink card as I am pretty open minded TBH.

Sorry - I am being over sensitive!

bed then why bother having it then? If kids are so free thinking...we may as well ditch the gender shite no?

But I have a girl. Shes 10y and she really isn't affected like this. She likes what she likes and that's it. Colour phases we have been through - green, blue, pink, purple, red, yellow and currently orange.

I work in an infant school. At school the children genuinely play with whatever is there. I am in Y2 at the moment - the boys will happily play with the pink and purple hama beads with the flower templates, and the girls happily play with the science kit to make burglar alarms (both were DD's toys previously). Previously I was in y1 and the children all dressed up in the role play clothes regardless - fairies, princesses, pirates, chefs, aliens, space suits, etc - the girls and boys were happy with any.

Yes, some children have phases and yes, some 5y girls will love pink princesses and sparkles and some 5y boys will only like cars and blue. But many children will interchange and many will like the opposite gender stereo type stuff too. But in my experiences, even at 6-7 years old, they are not overly driven by expectations. Most just have phases of liking different things.

"Well of course a girl can play with boys stuff, if she wants, no one is stopping her from being abnormal"

abnormal!!!!!!!

www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151325956666321&set=a.386553516320.200363.302555991320&type=1&theater

When I say have to ask* I don't mean YOU alone...I mean everyone has to ask that. WHY do some boys look down on pink etc? And they do>...just like some little girls will go YUK that's a boys toy/colour/design/ whatever.

MrsMushroom that is awful from the parents as the DCs should be able to have whatever they want. I guess I was trying to make a point earlier that it is fine if that is what the DC wants but I just wouldn't send a 'girly' card if I didn't know thats what the DC would like specifically.

Sorry again for being OTT about your comment!

MrsMushroom, are you not getting that it's just one other way to sell stuff? Kids are generally very free thinking. It's the adults that seem to make a big deal of stuff

Hula I do wish people would not come along and say ooh but MY child isn't affected by this.

It's not about looking at it from this perspective...it's about the bigger picture. T

DS1 probably hates pink as I am pink obsessed!

Sarcasm baubles

baubles - I think you missed a heavy does of sarcasm there [bgrin]

bed it's wider than the pink/blue thing. It concerns the type of toys which are IN each section.

Children's brains are very suggestible. Looking at many displays it seems that Science and discovery equals boys, crafts and hoovering equals girls.

it's not just a way to sell stuff

MrsMushroom - you wish people wouldn't come along with their own experiences and opinions - is that what you just said?

MrsMushroom - I am talking from my experience of many children, not just my own child. I just cant get het up about it too much as I don;'t really see many children being affected by it. I see parents getting het up about it - albeit almost only on MN, but a handful in real life - but I don;t see children getting affected by it.

Chipping no. I just feel we could all say My child this and my child that....it takes a wider view to understand the full picture.

beds - thing is, its fine for us who have kids who aren't swayed by signs and peer pressure, and who cheerfully ignore such things ourselves, but unfortunately a lot of people are heavily influenced.

Maybe the genderisation of playthings has absolutely nothing to do with half the schools in the country having no girls in their A level physics classes - but then again, maybe it does. No one else ever bought K'nex or lego or meccano for my DD, it was mostly barbies and polly pockets.

Hula it's not necessarily something you CAN see.

Funny how some children are guided by their parents and some are guided by their occasional trip to a toy shop. Maybe the parents with 3 year olds who think toys aren't for girls or aren't for boys should be looking at their parenting, not toyshop shelves?

Yes Grimma exactly. And the reason why people go when they meet a male carer or nursery worker.

Baublesandbaileys - I am just saying that over a good number of years, pink and purple have become associated more with girls than boys, for a lot of people. Rightly or wrongly. Also, one might expect a child's card with a picture of a girl on to be aimed at a girl. Perhaps I care too much about what other people think, but I would wonder what the parents would think. Because it goes against what has been the 'norm', I was just wondering if they were making a point. Perhaps not. Probably as people have said they were just using what they had in the house. And before you say it's about the child, not the parents, if that is the case completely then why does anyone send a card to a child who cannot yet read, and is more interested in the presents?

I suspect stores also started splitting things into gender areas because it was something they researched and found parents looking at. Same as splitting things into age ranges. Shops respond to shopper preferences.