to wonder why DS has been sent a 'girly' birthday card again?

[CocoPopsAddict]

He is 2.

I appreciate the receiving a card, I really do, but... this couple (who are/were friends are my MIL...now deceased) did the same thing on his birthday last year.

This year's is purple with pink butterflies... last year's I don't remember well but it was pink with a picture of a girl doing something birthday-like.

Cards not received last-minute so it wasn't like they thought they'd miss the post and had to send something they already had at home. Also money (or rather, lack of) not an issue here.

Is it odd thing for them to do? Am I being unreasonably ungrateful?

Some relatives of mine used to send me an age card every year, that was one year older than I actually was.

Wannabe where did anyone say that? jumping to conclusions slightly there aren't you?

MrsMushroom - yes I hear your point about science kits being 'for boys' (or not). How far would you take the argument though? Would you say that only stocking skirts and dresses in 'womenswear' is gender-stereotyping and should be stopped?

As for 'catching the gay' - I'm not sure how you managed to get that from me thinking his birthday cards from this couple have been slightly odd choices. I'm not remotely bothered if my son turns out to be gay or not.

I sent a blue train card to a 3 year old girl once.

Shoot me.

(She loved it)

My son's favourite colour is purple. He dresses in it head to toe every day unless his favourites are in the wash. He would love that card.

I have a relative that pretty much gives everyone the same card. DS2 got his birthday card from her this week and it's the same card that DS1 got in September (DS1 is 8, DS2 just turned 1). It was lovely for her to think of them but I was a bit when I opened the card.

Coco I can't comment on clothing...the group on MN are only focusing on toys....personally I don't give a shiny shite what men or women wear...to me, it's all fine together and marketed as clothing.

But we're talking about cards for kids....you were complaining about him getting a pink card. Pink is a colour. Not a sex. Yabu to bother moaning. At least he got a card. You also posted about his last card featuring a girl doing >something girl like< which is bollocks really. Unless it's related to her bodily parts.

My two year old son would love the card you describe. Are they of an age where they see children as children and not their gender first?

MrsMushroom - I could say that those people putting massive energy into worrying about tesco putting science kids under boys toys would be better off worrying about something that matter more - like raising funds for cancer research.

I just dont see the need for the comparison between science kits and the ops situation.

Your post read to me like you felt the op was letting the side down. Im too tired to explain myself properly.

'Whatever' yourself Chipping.
The OP posted about a gender issue.
I generally let a gripe out where I find one.

He is 2 FFS!!!

2 year olds like butterflies, they like colours of all types, yes?

He has not yet learnt that as a boy he is required not to like or respond positively to butterflies or the colour purple. SO, he won't mind about the card. So I really wouldn't worry about it.

However do not panic OP, regardless of this card or others, he will inevitably learn as he grows up that he only likes boy colours and boy things, and live a life devoid of colours other than brown, khakhi, and sludge, and be interested only in 'boy insects' such as slugs and spiders.

What a world we live in, when birthday cards for TWO YEAR OLDS are rigorously gendered.

Oh Good GOD, do people really get worked up and bosom hoiky about labelling toys as boys and girls? Do some people not posess the ability to, er, maybe, use their own initiative whether or not they think the recipient might like it?
Jesus fucking christ, now i've heard everything.

Chipping yes cancer research is a very important thing. We're starting with gender stereotyping within toys, so that girls may feel more comfy accessing science based toys and grow up to be research scientists who can look at cures for cancer.

Wannabe it starts in cards and cardigans...and blankets and teddies...then before you know it, you are a parent and you're trying to steer your little girl towards BOTH sections of the toys....because her side is full of prams and glitter and it's PINK....like she's been TOLD she likes....and the boys BLUE side is full of microscopes and cars etc. Prams are cool...dolls are nice but so are all the toys on the boys side...because they are blue however, she's avoiding them,...,..so yes...it MATTERS that people get irritated when someone dares to break the rules over a card.

I suppose that must be it... they are using cards up.

He isn't known for being particularly into purple/pink... the cards definitely stood out amongst all the others he has received. But as people have said, he is 2, and not bothered.

It just seemed funny to me as the same happened last year and I did wonder if they were trying to make some kind of point, or if I was just reading too much into it. I guess the latter.

MrsMushroom I said something birthday-like. She was opening a present or something perhaps. Not 'something girl-like'.

bed tell that to a 3 year old who thinks that blue is only for boys...because she's been told that girls are pink princesses....yes we can choose a boys toy in blue for our girls...or the other way around...if that's the case then WHY put all the boys things in one place and the girls in another? Why not have them together and in a mix of colours? And WHY make the different sides have different toys? Why not the same things?

Trying to get rid of the "colour pink is for girls only and Dolls too" type thinking is hardly anything new.
There was a lot of this going on when I had my first baby in 88. Dh and I couldn't care less what he played with or dressed as, same as our friends couldn't care about gender toys and clothes, but we all found the older generation would freak out over an outfit that looked too "girly" and the fact that DS's favorite toy was a cabbage patch premie doll who he would drag to the babysitters each day. Apparently he was going to be gay from us not manning him up like we should.
So the struggle continues, happy kids play with whatever toys they enjoy. But for many older people sending a purple card with butterflies on, to a boy would still be an odd thing to do.

But Bedmonster - the op didn't like this card because of years of such labeling.

So, poor card givers fucked up even though they used their own initiative.

I think they think you've got a DD (possibly with an "odd name for a girl")

In the last 20 minutes quite a few people have come along and said they would send a 'wrong gendered' card too. I don't think they are trying to make a point. They just don't think it's an issue.

Thing is though, I dont need the toy shops to rearrange their aisles.

If a child is going to be a research scientist I dont think wearing pink or playing with dolls will stop them.

My friend bought DS a purple My Little Pony for his 3rd birthday because that is what he said he wanted when she asked him. I have no issue with that at all and he loved brushing its hair (so did his older brother) but I would still find it odd if someone that wasn't close enough to know what he really liked sent a card like that to him.

DS2 would probably like pink or purple cards but DS1 would hate it!

You're being naive Wannabe. It's about expectation. I do not want my DDs growing up in a world where they think girls play with craft stuff and dolls and boys get science kits and construction toys. ALL of those toys are cool...I want my DDs to have the confidence to pick what they want.


My 8 year old DD got given a lego set last year...she said I thought lego was for boys! I love it though.

WHY did she think that?

MrsMelons you've got to ask yourself why DS1 would hate it? Why?