To think a 7/8 year old should not be alone with a 3/4 year old in a park, does not matter what country you live in.

[goodiegoodieyumyum]

Just been to our local park there was a little girl about 7 or eight with a 3 or 4 year old without any parents to be seen.

Now I live in the Netherlands so I know that parents allow there children more freedom than other places, but the park has really steep concrete stairs with no hand rail and there were older children running around her who twice tried to barrel into me and my one year old ds.

I was the only adult there so what would the 7 year old do if either of them hurt themselves. I suppose she may have a mobile phone but last year the slide collapsed and the air ambulance was called so I just can't understand why a parent would allow this.

IfNotNow, I think you make a very good point: there must be many children nowadays who are ferried everywhere by car and don't get much practice walking places with adults; in fact, I bet there are many who never walk anywhere with adults. These kids won't be safe alone, of course, because they've missed out on crucial road/pavement/traffic training.

At the moment, we're trying to suggest how old children should be before they're safe to walk alone (e.g. aged 7 or 8, or aged 11)... Perhaps a better rule of thumb is to suggest how many years of experience they need before they are safe... Say, 5 years walking with an adult every day; 8 years if they only do it once a week; 12 if they never walk anywhere with adults... ?

Because really, the best solution for children is not to stop them going anywhere alone until they're 11 or whatever; it is to make certain that children have plenty of experience of walking places accompanied, as young as possible.

I will just say I did write about a 7/8 year old alone taking sole responsibility of a 3/4 year old, I did not once mention a 7 year being allowed to play on her own although I don't think I would allow mine unless she learns a huge amount of sensibility in the next couple of years.

The children in my road play out, they do not get out of the way of cars or bikes and I am surprised that nobody has been seriosly injured, and do some absolutely stupid things.

Just to add my dd and I walk to school every day and even though we walk the same way, she says she wouldn't know how to get home, she also lives in her own little world sometimes and does not notice what goes on around her always, I know all children are different, but my husband who is Danish would also not let her look after our ds at that age, even though his nieces did at the same age.

OP YANBU - letting a child out to play is very different from them having to supervise a 3/4 year old.

I agree with everything expat has said in previous posts.

It is the parents responsibility to look after children not the siblings. Especially at that age.

Trying to analyse why I don't feel overwhelmed with retrospective responsibility because I played outside with my little brothers as a child.

I think it was because there was a general sense that in an emergency other people would help. Unless you were actually alone on a desert island, even if your own parents weren't within call, there would probably be somebody. It takes a village and all that.

In the same way, I don't shudder with disapproval when I see small children playing out on their own in our Swedish village: I know I'd be happy to lend a hand if they needed it and that their parents would be happy for me to do so.

But I also know that they expect a lot more of their children in some areas. A 7yo who didn't know her way home from school would be actively taught to learn it. Being in a dream world around the practical tasks of life wouldn't be considered more acceptable than daydreaming during your SATS. I noticed that my nephews (who are now in their pre-teens) were considered perfectly capable of handling a hammer and cooking a stir fry, both tasks which require a certain amount of presence of mind, by the age of 7.

I think it is a typically British thing that we expect an awful lot of concentration and application very early when it comes to school, but hardly any in the way of daily life.

Very interesting cory, and very true too I think. :)

Both my boys have been able to do practical 'daily living' tasks since they were quite little (e.g. at 7 - push a hoover around and walk themselves to/from school; at 8-9 - walk the dog, pop to the local shop, use a screwdriver; at 10 - cook something simple, operate the washing machine, use a penknife)... I am aware of being 'judged' by some other mothers who think I should do more for them...

OP, I know you posted specifically about a 7/8 yo being in a park in charge of a 3/4 yo, and (fwiw) I wouldn't personally have asked that of my own kids... But I think your example has opened up an interesting more general issue about how much we expect of children, and at what age... :)