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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not take 5month old to freezing house for weekend?

85 replies

Camdenstyles · 30/11/2012 00:30

We are suppose to be visiting my DH's Aunt and Uncle this weekend in Dorset and taking DD who has just turned 5 months. I get a phone call this evening from the Aunt saying their heating has conked out (since Sat) and they are waiting for the repairman to fix it who may or may not come to fix it on Saturday. They are in the deep countryside and I find their house cold at the best of times. She has warned us but said we can pile on warm clothes and go for walks to warm up! She has no children or her own so has no clue about babies. I don't feel comfortable taking DD there if it's going to be freezing, AIBU?

OP posts:

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 30/11/2012 00:33

A bit - it's only a weekend, she can do without a bath if it's too chilly to strip off and get wet, but other than that a few layers of clothes will keep her warm.

On the other hand, is there any reason it has to be this weekend? Couldn't you just go the following weekend?

LittleEdie · 30/11/2012 00:35

Why don't you feel comfortable?

AThingInYourLife · 30/11/2012 00:38

I wouldn't take my 5 month old to a house with no heating.

redandwhitesprinkles · 30/11/2012 00:45

What would you do if your heating was broken? If you would stick it out then you should go. My 6 month old seems ok after we had no heating for a week (waiting for parts) just layered him up and used a fan heater to take the chill off his room before we put him into bed (turned it off when he was in there).

Original poster

Camdenstyles · 30/11/2012 00:50

Suggested next weekend but they're busy, then off to live in NZ for next 5 months (they do this every year).

Not comfortable as been really lucky with DD not getting sick so far and although it's only a matter of time don't want to tempt fate.

Hmm, I hate the cold so probably using baby as an excuse .

OP posts:

mynameisalexdrake · 30/11/2012 00:54

I'd take a fan heater with me.

CoolaSchmoola · 30/11/2012 01:10

YABU.

She won't get sick from being in a cold house. Illnesses are caused by viruses and bacteria - neither of which thrive in cooler temperatures, central heating is actually their favourite thing as it helps them breed. Not to mention that central heating is a relatively modern thing and some people still don't have it and manage fine.

It is better for babies to be cool, I don't have any heating on in DDs bedroom all year round. It's currently 16 degrees in there and she's in pyjamas and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag. She's lovely and warm even though to me the room feels cold. Recommendations are 16-20 degrees for a babies room, with too cold being better than too hot. You can always put layers on it's how we survived all those thousands of years without central heating.

DD has had one cold in 14 months and no other illnesses so far and I honestly believe it's down to no central heating in the bedroom and plenty of fresh air. Until recently we were living in Germany where it's a lot colder than the UK in the winter - and still no heating in the bedroom.

Put layers on her and she will be absolutely fine - and less prone to catching a cold than in a centrally heated house . She'll soon let you know if she wants more layers on.

ll31 · 30/11/2012 01:11

yabu,bring warm clothes

CoolaSchmoola · 30/11/2012 01:12

We take our baby caravanning too - we're going over Christmas. She has a snowsuit for outside and layers for inside. She'll be grand! As will your DD in a cold house.

BrianButterfield · 30/11/2012 01:19

God, I wouldn't. Not necessarily because I'd be worried about the baby but because it's going to be really cold this weekend and I'd be miserable.

HappyJoyful · 30/11/2012 01:19

YABU, our DD has was born Dec 2010, very cold winter - we don't have central heating. She's ok... I really don't think one weekend of no centrally heated, double glazed house is going to be of harm to your PFB

AThingInYourLife · 30/11/2012 01:37

5 month old babies can't go for walks to warm up.

It's bloody cold at the moment and it will be miserable being stuck in the middle of nowhere in a freezing cold house with a baby.

What you would do if your own heating broke down is irrelevant.

That would be an emergency.

Why would you willingly choose those same conditions when you have a heated house to stay in?

It is absolute bullshit that people were healthier before central heating. Life expectancy was lower and far more people died of respiratory illnesses.

It is not advised that people sleep in rooms below 15C because it affects their health. It could well be colder than that in the house in question.

My 5 month old is my PTB, not my 1st or 2nd, and there is no way I would be taking them to an unheated house in November unless I had to.

People on MN are idiotic about heating for some reason.

Would you take your family away for the weekend to a place you knew woukd not have enough food? I doubt it. This is no different really.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/11/2012 01:44

Why don't they visit you instead?

I would not be happy, not because of the baby but because I loathe being cold. I need heat.

AThing - I know, what is that? And I know some people struggle to pay the bills, but with others it is clearly a point of principle. People who work from home who won't heat the house during the day 'just for themselves' - WTF is that about? Are they somehow less worthy of being warm than their husband and children??

HappyJoyful · 30/11/2012 01:48

Am not sure what you mean by my 5 month old is my PTB ? so could have missed something but - you can add layers and plenty of warmth without fucking central heating. Sorry, it just irks me that the people actually consider this. NO FOOD, hate to say it but 5 month old would be ok?

Loveweekends10 · 30/11/2012 02:01

No they don't give birth in cold countries do they? Yes it's a shame no one has babies in Russia or Mongolia isn't it? Of course you can take the baby. Just wrap up in warm clothes. I think people on here need to travel more. You will then see that babies are fine in most living environments if appropriately dressed.
One of the most ridiculous comments I have ever read is comparing someone heating breaking down to having no food!

butterfliesinmytummy · 30/11/2012 02:12

DD1 was born in the north of Scotland and often it was too cold in the room at night for the baby monitor to register a temp (ie below 12). We all survived but if I had the choice, I wouldn't take a baby in that temp and I wouldn't go myself. It's not about having to cope, because you don't have to, so chat about Russia is irrelevant. I would postpone rather than being miserably cold.

CoolaSchmoola · 30/11/2012 02:51

Life expectancy was lower not because of lack of central heating - but because of lack of modern medicine and no NHS.

We do willingly choose to stay in those conditions when we have a heated house every time we go camping in winter.

That said - I do heat the downstairs of the house whenever it's cold, even if there is only me in. It's the bedrooms I don't heat. DD was considered to be at risk of SIDS so we stick like glue to the recommended room temp range of 16 - 20 with an optimal temp of 18.

We're all fit as fleas and I do think it's down to not heating the bedrooms as it's the only thing we've done differently since having DD.

EMS23 · 30/11/2012 03:04

Urgh, I hate the cold. I wouldn't go, YANBU.

LDNmummy · 30/11/2012 03:05

I wouldn't take myself there let alone my DD.

RudolphTheRedNosedTapir · 30/11/2012 03:13

YANBU

Invite them to come to yours if feasible; being cold is very miserable especially when you don't have to be.

LDNmummy · 30/11/2012 03:32

I wouldn't compare no heating to not having food though, that's just not the same thing now is it.

But I still wouldn't go.

LulaBear · 30/11/2012 03:54

They have done the right thing by calling you to tell you there will be no heating. This is your very small baby that will be cold. I would say, thank you, but no thank you, we will come and visit you soon (when you have heating!). It's already reaching 0c in London. As an adult, if I was invited somewhere that had broken heating, I would make my excuses! Don't feel guilty.

IceNoSlice · 30/11/2012 04:06

We have a cold house (DH and I like it that way, hate being too hot) but I was concerned that my 3mo would either be cold or wrapped up like the Michelin man inside. So, rather than have the heating on all day, I got an oil filled electric heater which I move between the downstairs room and nursery (although I note the point about optimal temp for babies, but 19 deg is a lot nicer than 16!)

Could your aunt buy a couple of freestanding electric heaters? Or could you take with you?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 30/11/2012 04:18

We have no heating. (Its temperamental and we cant afford oil)

So we are heating the house with a fan heater and the fire. DD2 is 3 weeks old. Yes its not ideal, but its hardly the same as not having any food

I grew up in a house that didnt even have a heating system plumbed into it, the windows were draughty and the roof leaked. Its really not hard to put on a few extra layers.

CheerfulYank · 30/11/2012 04:23

I grew up with only a woodstove in Minnesota where it gets to be -40 in the winter, so I think YAB a bit U. But if you really don't want to go, that's up to you. :)

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