Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

You're not your. Fuckity fuck I've caught bad grammar.

Jenna what do you think is them neglecting their children though? Are they leaving them at home alone or are they organising proper childcare/activities where the children are having fun or learning something?

I have 5 years off with the DCs but now I work 4 days a week. They have to go to breakfast/after school care once a week which they both love, every other tues I take them and their friend to a sports lesson and on the other week their friend's mum does it so I can work late. One day a week my mum takes and picks them up and on the 4th day I work a shorter day so I do the school runs.

Am I neglectful or am I now providing them with a well rounded life as we can afford for them to have sports/music lessons etc and general life experiences.

I wanted parents to explain is it really worth it, when they constantly compete with the' we don't have any time, we work constantly etc'. I guess the dc will be the judges when they grow up

Youre right there! Ask my DS whos 19 and has loved his childhood because as well as the basics e.g food and a roof over his head hes had lots treats, fun family times and most important memories to last a lifetime - hes a smashing well rounded young man even if I do say so myself and will make some lucky lady a lovely husband one day. So I reckon he would think its worth it, no need thanks to feel sorry for him or any of the rest of my younger children. Actually its you I feel sorry for, so screwed up by their own childhood experience of an overbearing and critical Mum and an absent Father who probably gave you everything you ever wanted apart from attention - recipe for disaster really.

can't any of the WOHM see the irony here?!
In defending their working status, most of them are taking pot shots at sahm's and saying some pretty unpleasant, often untrue and frequently daft things whilst they're at it. Which makes many of you just as bad, blinkered and judgmental as the lovely OP.

I havent said one unpleasant thing about SAHM at all.

neither have I said anything unpleasant (apart from to the op)

I'm not taking any pot shots at SAHMs, not a single one. As I said earlier: I have a great deal of respect for SAHMs (and dads). I have a great deal of respect for WOHMs. I have no respect for someone who judges either...

No, I can not downsize from a two bedroom semi. I already live within my means, but as the main earner I couldnt afford not to work. I could move into a council house, quit work and claim housing benefit so that I could stay at home I suppose, but I am not sure that would work either.

Autumn I am not sure if you are referring to anyone in particular but maybe some of the WOHM's comments have not been well thought out as the OP was so bloody rude!

Maybe I should have added that I chose not to work as I believe that I should be the one to bring up my children in those early days but if we had not been able to afford to pay the mortgage then I would have had to go back to work when the DCs were little.

I have a career but I still would not have worked for no/very little financial gain when the DCs were young as I loved being a SAHM but it is not for everyone.

I find it hard when people are so critical of SAHM or WOHM - I have been both and can honestly say there are benefits of both - of course in an ideal world a happy medium would be good but not always possible.

There have been pot shots. I've been saying it for pages!

However, I have said throughout that I know they're aimed specifically at OP. It's just in doing so, they insult all SAHMs.

I dump my kids and go out to work to earn a big salary in the City .

Now that they are of school age I dump them at school, I believe this quaint practice is called the school run .

Prior to them starting school I dumped them on DH who was a SAHD.

What's a wohm? Sorry!

I can't get upset by either view autumn because whether you CHOOSE to stay at home or not is about as relevant as what you CHOOSE to have for tea tonight.
You suit yourself. The only problem comes when you imbue that choice with some sort of "moral righteousness" on either side and need to quote statistics, for example, to support your choice.
Neither is better. Once that is established there is no "debate" to be had. You may as well debate over whether red cars or blue cars are "better."

Save your energy and righteous anger for the real debate - why do some women NOT have choices?

I'm a SAHM, and I haven't seen potshots being taken at me and others like me.

WOHM - working mum
stands for something like Working outside the home mum v SAHM - Stay at home mum

Thanks Chaz - was trying to make all the letters stand for something and was getting confused!!

But Autumn the lists were in response to the OP asking why on earth you'd choose to be a WOHM And some of them were written by SAHM

In all fairness, then this whole thread was started as an insult to WOHM. I think maybe some of the comments were not thought out but this isnt a war or competition.
cant we just say we all do the best we can, which may seem the wrong way to some and the right way to others?
I have never been a SAHM so I cant comment on it tbh except to say that I know i couldnt do it and I have a lot of respect for parents who do.

Only one thing left to ask really .

OP , what are your thoughts on 4 x4 's ?

As you were .

Hahahaha. My mother was a SAHM and was miserable and felt she'd wasted her degree and her talents. It made her very bitter and we are only just repairing the damage it did to our relationship.

I would love to stay at home, don't give a shit about a career but have to go back 3 days a week in the new year to pay the bills.

Anyway, what I'm saying is everybody is different and should do what best suits them. And anybody who thinks they now better is a cunt who should fuck.right.off.

Oh Plomino - not again!! At least we know we are a good tag team on 4x4 debates!!

Sorry , couldn't resist !