to think that 7.30am is far too early to turn up at a friend's door asking to borrow money?

[MoomieAndFreddie]

bear in mind had a bad night with dc, youngest awake poorly in the night so was shattered and was not in the best frame of mind anyway.

at 7.30am we were woken up by banging on the door. tbh the only reason i went to answer it is because i am waiting for something to be delivered. normally i am awake at this time but still would not welcome anyone knocking my door as normally i am showering or getting dcs up, sorting breakfasts etc

anyway it was my friend and her 2 dcs... asking to borrow £5 as they had run out of gas. i had no money on me anyway so said i might be able to lend her some later on...its not the asking to borrow money that bothers me, i don't have a problem with that. its that i would have seen my friend at the morning school drop off anyway (as dcs in same class) so wtf was turning up at my door at this hour all about

then i did see her at school and she said she had sorted it and borrowed some off her mum

aibu or is she?

She might have needed some gas to cook with (before the school run) or to put the fire on (before the school run) for her DCs. If she's not in the habit of doing this, I'd cut her some slack?

Gas as in cooker or Americanism for petrol? If the latter and she was on fumes, then I can understand the urgency but would question why she didn't ask before the needle went on red.

If the cooker, did she need it for breakfast? Porridge? Kettle blew so hot water on the Hob for tea? If she has a microwave then YANBU as she had no urgent need. Is she the type to panic?

If she was desperate then needs must.

Tbh, I think this is one of the things that you do for friends - it just seems a kindness to me. I appreciate you did not have the money, but I certainly wouldn't be upset about her coming at 7.30 a.m. to ask.

My DH was away overnight quite often - one day I fell down the stairs at 7.30 p.m. I managed to crawl to the telephone and rang my next door neighbours who rushed around to help and then took me to A and E (I had fractured my left big toe and my right ankle). My neighbours are good friends; they certainly wouldn't have expected me to wait until later to ring them. I know this is rather an extreme example, but, as I said, it's the kind of thing you do for friends.

Lack of sleep fuddles your brain, I don't think I'd be happy getting to the door at that time in the morning, but I think she did the right thing.

M

I am there for my friends 24/7, if they need something they can ring/come round. They know that. But i get up at 6.20am every day .

Still you were up, and if you did have the money it wouldn't have taken a second to give it to her.

Maybe she was embarrassed to ask for it at school.

on a week day no i dont think.it is too early and presumably she was desperate.

feel mean now

No need to feel mean, you didn't have the money in the house and you did heck up at school she was OK.

How about getting her a treat when you are next shopping, if you can afford it, something she might to be able to buy herself if money is tight, a bar of chocolate etc

Heck up! Sorry should read check up.

Very good idea, Hopeforever.

Maybe she wanted to

Warm her kids up
Make a cup of tea
Have hot water for the kids to wash

I imagine she was desperate to have bundled her children over to yours at that time in the morning.

I know how nangy I can get after little sleep and how it is easy to blow things out of proportion.

I imagine you are feeling differently now and it isn't too late to make it up to her.

If I were her I would have called first to sound you out.

Yanbu for being irritated and unable to help. You can't help having no money or feeling like crap. However, it sounds to me like your friend was really desperate so YABU to still be peeved now. Friend in need an all that. I would definately have given her the money if I had it.

My friends could knock me up any time.

Your friend wanted food and heat for her kids. She turned to you. Shame her need woke you up early. Be kind, eh?

I have a horrid vision of poor friend and DCs huddled in the cold waiting until they could legitimately call round. Half seven on a school day is late enough to be certain you'd be awake.

A fiver. You must have been gutted you didn't have it to hand.

In her situation I wouldn't have called at that time over this - I can't see any reason why it couldn't have waited until later on. However my friends can (and do) call anytime they need anything and it wouldn't have even occured to me that it was early/wrong or whatever.

if she needs gas to wash and feed the dcs then i can see why she called so early. there have been mornings when i have woken up and the electric is about to go off (at 8am) and i need to shower. i think in her shoes i would have called or texted you but then maybe she didn't have any credit/landline so couldn't do this.

and tbh i would really have needed to have that shower or whatever before i would go round to a friends with the dcs at that time of the morning so it sounds like she really needed it.

i would give the dcs cereal with cold milk and fruit and do without tea myself but then it is really cold at the minute so maybe they really needed the gas for warm milk.

I just think the fact she's asking to borrow a fiver says how desperate she must be.

I feel sad for her.

Unless she has extenuating circumstances, she didn't need gas to wash and feed children before school. She could have used the kettle for a bit of hot water, or failing that, given their hands and face a wash with a cold flannel or wipes. They could have had cereal, sandwiches, fruit, yogurt - I doubt there was only food in the house that had to be cooked.

As I said, I wouldn't have knocked at that time of the day for gas money, but wouldn't have minded in the slightest if one of my friends had.

Iamso - why/how does your electric go off at 8?

i think its because i personally wouldn't do it

kitty it actually annoyed me that she brought her dcs with her - however cold her house is, its colder outside - she is not a single mum, she brings her dc everywhere cos her "d"p is too much of a useless fuckwit to look after his own kids. i would imagine she bought them out as he would have been still in bed and didnt want them to disturb him.

but now i do feel bad, i maybe should have invited them in to get ready here and have a hot drink or something :(

am going to say sorry to her later when i see her at school.

Everlong - me too. I can't imagine being that short of money. I mean things are tight here right now, but nowhere near that level :( It is scary that people are going into the winter so short of money/gas.