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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that 7.30am is far too early to turn up at a friend's door asking to borrow money?

109 replies

MoomieAndFreddie · 26/11/2012 10:46

bear in mind had a bad night with dc, youngest awake poorly in the night so was shattered and was not in the best frame of mind anyway.

at 7.30am we were woken up by banging on the door. tbh the only reason i went to answer it is because i am waiting for something to be delivered. normally i am awake at this time but still would not welcome anyone knocking my door as normally i am showering or getting dcs up, sorting breakfasts etc

anyway it was my friend and her 2 dcs... asking to borrow £5 as they had run out of gas. i had no money on me anyway so said i might be able to lend her some later on...its not the asking to borrow money that bothers me, i don't have a problem with that. its that i would have seen my friend at the morning school drop off anyway (as dcs in same class) so wtf was turning up at my door at this hour all about

then i did see her at school and she said she had sorted it and borrowed some off her mum

aibu or is she?

OP posts:

IAmSoFuckingRock · 26/11/2012 14:55

suzie if you grew up in a struggling family surely you can understand how sometimes you just dont have the money to put in the meter? maybe she was trying to eek it out til the school run this morning but it didn't last as long as she thought it would. and Op has already said that her DP is shit and was probably in bed. yes she should probably LTB but that doesn't help her at half 7 in teh morning when she has no gas and no money to get some does it?

Kethryveris · 26/11/2012 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMathis · 26/11/2012 14:56

I would be embarrassed if I was still asleep at 730 on a weekday

Well bully for you, naughty. Does it comfort you to feel so smug? The OP had been up with a poorly child fgs.

FWIW when ds was at primary I was rarely up before then; why on earth would I be when we didn't need to leave the house before 8.45?

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 26/11/2012 14:57

IAmSo I have to say it's easier to be 'less crap' with money, when money isn't so tight in the first place. Mind you, this is no excuse for my cousin, she has plenty coming in, she's just no good at controlling it going out!

Moomie - have you suggested MN to her??

Dooin - a 5 minute walk to school would help :) Also the schools around here start earlier. I'm still quite impressed though

NettoSpookerstar · 26/11/2012 14:58

I'm just shit at organising tbh, so sometimes my gas/electric goes off.
Electric doesn't go off between 6pm-9am and not on Sundays, gas does though.

My best friend woke me up this morning, calling round for a natter, she came straight in, we don't knock at each others houses, asked if I wanted her to go, I said no and by the time I stumbled through to the living room, she'd made the tea.
It was 9.15am and yes I was still in bed, I don't sleep well due to illness and DD is 11 and more than capable of sorting herself out, I talked to her before she left for school.

naughtymummy · 26/11/2012 15:00

I am not smug. I was stating a fact, if someone knocked on my door at 730 on a weekday and it woke me up I would be embarrassed.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 26/11/2012 15:00

Honestly, the twattish things you read on MN

I would be embarrassed if I was still asleep at 730 on a weekday

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 26/11/2012 15:02

Netto - you were in bed after 7.30 on a weekday? You should be embarrassed!! Have some pride woman.

IAmSoFuckingRock · 26/11/2012 15:04

why is it shameful if you have no need to be up at 7.30? this is a genuine question? why get up earlier than you need to?

D0oinMeCleanin · 26/11/2012 15:08

If someone knocked at my door at 7:30am on a weekday and I was up and awake I'd be seriously impressed with myself. If I was also dressed I would be worried for my mental state, that is very abnormal behaviour for me

Chipping I work until midnight most weekends so by the time I get home, have supper, wind down etc. It is getting on for past 1am. I couldn't get up before 7:30am even if I wanted to.

We used to be late a lot when I first started this job but have gotten into the habit of being extra organised and can get ready in less than half the time now. Tomorrows school things are already laid out apart from bags etc. that they have with them. They will checked and put by the door when they get in from school. Porridge, milk, raisins and chopped nuts will unceremoniously dumped in the slow cooker before bed tonight. I make sure hairbrish and bobbles etc are all where they should be before bed.

D0oinMeCleanin · 26/11/2012 15:09

I work week nights not weekends, although I work those too. Cannot wait to get a better job after uni

akaemmafrost · 26/11/2012 15:09

Wouldn't bother me.

naughtymummy · 26/11/2012 15:09

Ok those of you who have no need to be upat 730 despite having school age children. How would you feel if someone knocked on the door (in a fairly desperate situation) at 730 or 745. Pissed off they had disturbed your beauty sleep ?

Hopeforever · 26/11/2012 15:10

I hardly ever get up by 7.30 other than to say goodbye to DS as he leaves to catch his bus. DH is awake at 6.30, see no need for us all to get up.

But I would answer the door to a friend in need or be there for my kids when DH is away

NettoSpookerstar · 26/11/2012 15:12

I'd help my friends at any time of day or night naughty, as they would do me, and have done.
My friends would know to wake me.

naughtymummy · 26/11/2012 15:12

Doing I also get in at 1am after work frequently. I do get up at 7ish afterwards. Why not ? I''ll have a lie down once I've got everyone to school.

D0oinMeCleanin · 26/11/2012 15:14

I can't do that Naughty, I work split shifts and have to walk dogs and do house work before starting work at 11:30am, plus I have college work to keep on top of and I am the main care giver to two children.

There's no time for napping, even if there was my bed is over run with lazy hounds during the day there'd be no room for me

IAmSoFuckingRock · 26/11/2012 15:15

well if it's supposed to be beauty sleep it aint working!

no why would i be pissed off? a friend was so desperate for help they drag their dcs out of the house at 7.30 am for a fiver, i'd be concerned for them. i wouldn't be pissed off.

i still dont get the shameful part

IAmSoFuckingRock · 26/11/2012 15:18

and my school age dcs dont get up til 20 past 8. why would i need to be up at 7.30?

naughtymummy · 26/11/2012 15:24

This is getting out of hand. I didn't' say ashamed , I said embarrassed as in a bit sheepish (even tho all my mate's know I do shifts) my problem I am sure. The main point was why OP didn't' ask her mate in . Even if she had been up in the night. Unless dc was hospital sick I would have sorted her out with the fiver if she felt she had to knock on my door at that time

JenaiMathis · 26/11/2012 15:28

Only slatterns have a lie down in the day.

naughtymummy · 26/11/2012 15:31

Ah that explains the state of my house, thanks Janaimathis

Naoko · 26/11/2012 15:33

I can't even remember the last time I was up at 7.30am. If it's 7.30am, I'm asleep, unless I haven't been to bed yet. (This happens, I'm not lazy, my sleeping pattern is fucked due to medical problems - I usually end up sleeping about 4am-11am, would love to change it to something 'normal' but I can't seem to manage it).

And if a friend knocked at that time in need of a fiver because they had no gas, in weather this awful, with kids, I would stumble out of bed, put the kettle on, and make them all a cup of something warm before handing over said fiver if I had one to hand.

YANBU for not giving her money OP, you didn't have any cash, you can't magic it up out of thin air. But I think you're being a bit unreasonable for being annoyed; I can't imagine anyone turning up at someone's house at early o'clock to ask for money unless they really, really had no other choice - it's not something you do for fun.

IAmSoFuckingRock · 26/11/2012 15:35

apologies. i dont know why i thought you said ashamed!

but no i wouldn't be embarrassed either. i would be in my jammies or dressing gown and any of my friends that would come to me at that time wouldn't mind at all.

ihearsounds · 26/11/2012 15:39

My door is always open to friends in need and they know it. It swings and turns, sometimes its them that is desperate and needs something because of whatever reason, like when the bank went down for weeks a few months back, and friend could not access money. Or loosing bank card. Wages not paid in.. There are millions of reasons why she might not have been able to get money, not because she cannot manage money or whatever... But like others I would have invited them in to have breakfast etc if I didnt have cash on me.

As for up before 7:30, that's the earliest we wake up, and only when we have to leave at 8:15. Nothing to do with beauty sleep, just dont see the point getting up earlier, which incedently when we have gotten up earlier than needed we were late lol

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