to consider giving our new baby a completely different surname to DH and me?

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I posted recently about the problems we're having choosing a name for our impending baby girl due to our tricky surname. It's here if anyone is remotely interested:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1617289-to-find-naming-our-baby-difficult

DH suggested that we consider giving her his mums maiden name instead. Its a lovely name with no real teasing potential and goes with every first name we can think of.

What do you think? Is it just a bit too out there? Has anyone done this? I'm considering it as it means I could give our bundle of joy the first name I want to give her but at the same time still feel it may just be a bit too wacky and extreme. ... Or should we just choose a name that we like but isn't our one of our favourites just so that it goes with our surname. Please give me your thoughts!

I have been asked why my surname is different to my dc a couple of times, on entry to the USA and Cyprus.

I wouldn't do it unless you all change your name. It would almost be like telling your child that people will have a solid, understandable reason to tease her and that it would be ok for them to do that if she had your name. I think that a little bit of teasing will be easier for a child to deal with than having to wonder why they don't have their family name. Your job is to create a solid foundation for her life so that she can deal with any teasing, I don't think you can do that by effectively telling her that the name you have is not good enough.

Mandy Melon

Haha are her initials HM per chance?

Aaargh sorry alliteration not assonance

SchrodingersSexKitten stop making things Googleable...

Helen Mellon

It's not assonance, it's alliteration . STOP NOW. I will have to name change. Grrr.

One of my cousins has my mother's father's family name - which is unique (I google it, I know them all) she married a man who hated his family name
SO
they chose a new surname
for them and their three daughters
that is used at school, post, address etc

they both use their original names for some work
but work more and more in their newfamily name
and the girls will always have the new name

perfectly legal and suits all of them

PS they live in the USA
and I regularly go to the USA with a different name than my children

A friend of mine was worried about teasing potential of their surname. They changed their names by deed poll (remarkably easy) to dp's mother's maiden name (that said, there was extra motivation because dp had fallen out with his father) when they were pg. so the dc took this name. That was all very reasonable but I do think it will cause confusion if your child has different surnames to either of you- some people may assume she's not actually yours?

Rosa has said what I was going to. You may have a few issues with international travel.

I wouldn't want my DCs to have a surname that wasn't either mine or my DPs. As it is atm, they have DP's name, as I will change mine when we get married.

sorry

In my defence I did correct myself before you had chance to (quite rightly) express your disappointment

isn't it better to teach your children to be proud of their name & their heritage? Changing their name just incase they get teased will cause no end of problems. Bullies pick on people they think they can weaken, the most important thing you can teach your children is pride.

If you and dh both have undesirable surnames then why not change both your names to a new one and give it to dd too.

If your surname is Crapper or Crack or a Cock variant e.g,Peacock, Smallcock, Badcock,Adcock or similar then agree that it would be good for dd to be called something else. Go for it!

Your name is your name.. I cant see the point in changing a family surname.

Kids will always find something to tease others about.. teasing about a surname is probably the least likely to upset a kid. And I say that as someone who hated my own maiden name and couldnt wait to get married!!..

Is anyone else curious as to what the mysterious horrible second name is?
Gwann OP, tell us what it is!

so why do so many Women give up their family names?
especially when they are the end of a line?

The B'stard daughters each got their husbands to change their names on marriage so the splendid name lived on.
As did at least one of the D'eath ladies

My ds has a different surname to me. It's double barrel, with his father's surname first and my mum's maiden name following. The reason for choosing mum's maiden name was because it was going to die out, it is foreign (my grandfather czech) and the family were sad about the name dying out. So it's in my son's surname. I don't regret it, the only annoying thing is having to spell it out to people because it's Czech but hey ho, at least he'll continue the family name. People do ask me a lot though, one of his teacher's asked me and then said "Oh I see, I approve" how patronising.

I did non googleable,but my alliteration was crap can I get half a shiny?

Mandy?

Why would everyone in your family have the family name except your dd?
Choose a different Christian name

My daughter has a completely different surname, like Dotty it's a combination of mine and my girlfriends surname, glad to hear it's not likely to get her picked on!

What's this thing about international travel being difficult when you have a different name from your DCs? DH said that to me when I didn't take his name. Surely everyone just has a passport with their correct name on?

Feude
I've had a different surname on my passport from my children and husband for 14 years.
Has never stopped me travelling.
So long as all of the bookings agree with the documents its not a problem.

I think it's perfectly ok to give a child the name of one parent, or hyphenate, or combine names. All of those things honour the child's family history and the child's position within that family.

I do think it is a bit odd for both parents to have the same surname and not pass that name onto their child. It does imply that there is something 'wrong' with the name. I would either keep the surname and find something which works, or all change your name.