Too much time in playpen for toddler?

[lexiss]

This morning DS 17 months woke up at 6am. I got up bf him and put him in the playpen. It is one of those extra large, hexagonal playpens.

Around 6.15 I gave him some water and changed his nappy. Then I went back to bed after making sure the playpen had only safe toys and the baby monitor was plugged in.

I fell asleep and woke up at 8.30. I went out to see DS and he was happily playing with this toys. He is very into small manipulative puzzles, shape boxes, stacking cups etc at the moment and he was busy playing with these.

He had been in the playpen for nearly 2.5 hours! Is this too long? Is there a problem that he plays happliy for this length of time by himself?

Most days I have a nap during the day for an hour or so and DS spends this time in the playpen but I have never left him for 2.5 hours before.

What do you think about this?

(Thank you MrsDV I was starting to think I was going bonkers!)

If I wanted to say Golden you are a twat, I would say Golden you are a twat.

I'm not playing any cards, victim or otherwise.

This is the sentence which I think has strayed beyond debate into nasty -
Fourthly, you did indeed call me a twat in a passive aggressive, indirect, cowardly way. Maybe YOU should look at why YOU do that and hopefully come to the conclusion that it is indeed and I quote, 'a twattish' thing to do?

As I said, I'm not sure who you are quoting as it isn't me.

As for "Group conformity" or whatever the hell you're calling it I honestly can't remember how much MrsDV and I, or indeed anyone else, agreed on anything and tbh I can't be bothered reading back to find out.

Because It Doesn't Matter.

Fuck me I was actually trying to be helpful!

Randall I just quoted you saying I'd come across, 'less twatty', less of twat - what is the difference exactly. The difference is that was is less direct than the other. One is less brave! You have been very very rude to me - unsure why? But it is easier to be harsh to someone when they have an alliance- now that's nasty if you want to label anything so.

mrs I don't know of the websites you talk of. No I have no 'real' experience of the neglect you speak of - thank God but saying CC is wrong does not take away anything from these cases. It's a seperate issue. I know from my Mum's experience on CP cases that a picture is built up over time and different things can mean neglect is established as a sum of parts in many cases.

Sometimes too late as well as people don't get involved.

There is a massive difference between saying something is wrong and saying it is neglectful

agree with Bonsoir. I am astonished, stunned and completely at a 17 month old playing by themselves for 2.5hours. How is this possible?
I have a 2.3yr old and a 4yr old and they don't leave me alone for minute. Even going to the toilet is a chore and they insist on accompanying me. 2.5hours?????? What am I doing wrong?!

Goldenbear, and you are 100% certain that it was all due to the CC your friend did at 5.5 months? It couldn't just be that all babies are different and do things at their own pace, and some babies are just naturally more clingy than others?

And I think what you mean to say is that CC, a technique I haven't used but do know of some people who have had goodresults with it, is wrong in your opinion. Unless you became queen of the world while noone was looking?

Well bugger me if you think suggesting ways to rephrase things so you come across better and don't annoy people so much as "very very rude" then life must be bloody tough for you.

And for God's sake stop with the alliance bollocks.

I don't think I've ever come across someone who has posted so aggressively.

You seem intent on reading some sort of hidden meaning into every one of mine, and many other people's, posts. I have no idea if you're just not reading them or if it's something else.

Now I wouldn't presume to speak for anyone else but I can assure you there is nothing passive aggressive in any of my posts. The words I have said are exactly the words I meant. Nothing more nothing less.

It IS passive aggressive to indirectly call some one a twat. You know what you said? What is the difference between twatty and twat? Please answer that question?

No CC is wrong absolutely not IMO!

IF CC was wrong IYO it would be illegal and be classed as neglect. Its not fact so it is YOUR OPINION.

Just because it is wrong in your opinion doesn't make it wrong. Not that hard to understand is it?

Something doesn't have to be illegal to be considered wrong. It is the general consensus on something that attributes it wrong or right. There are so many examples of this proposition in the world that I'm not going to bother to explain this.

There is so many examples saying it does no harm to. If it was abuse or neglect it would be at least on NSPCC guidelines like smacking. SS would take a dim view which they don't and Drs wouldn't recommend it. Prem baby unit babies wouldn't be CC trained either.

And I'm not saying its wrong or right, just it is not what you are saying it is.

I can't be arsed to read down only no now that the subject of cc?? Why is it wrong? Some people DONT like it some people DO! Doesn't mean it's wrong! I used cc on my daughter! As I will give her a light slap if her behaviour is beyond ridiculous and warnings havent worked! There may be a 'consensus' to what is right or wrong but that doesnt make that correct either ??

That is far too long for a baby to be left unattended while you go back to bed. What if your child had fallen ill during this time?

good example mrsD, I could link to all the SIDs cases from co-sleeping if you'd like golden bear.

Crinkle - how do you know if your child has taken ill while you are asleep at night?

Oh dear God, I said "What you said sounded twatty" NOT "You are a twat".

Surely with all your aforementioned education you understand the difference.

For some reason you refuse to take the words I have said on face value, despite the fact that I have confirmed that what I said is what I meant. Nothing more nothing less.

I really don't know how else to explain it.

Goldenbear you said:

"Thirdly, they haven't been rounded on because they haven't been back. I have continued to express my opinion, that doesn't conform to the majority, as a result I have become the scapegoat."

I used the word neglectful - and I posted twice, so I came back. Some people agreed with me, some didn't - the reason I'm not in the middle of your massive drama despite using the word neglectful isn't because I didn't come back - it's because I didn't go batshit crazy when someone disagreed with me.

I stand by what I said - but I also accept that not everyone will see things the way I do.... After all, it's just my opinion. One made through working for Social Services, and also seeing my DN put on a Child in Need plan because the neighbours saw her tapping at her bedroom window for hours in the mornings because her Mum was asleep and she wasn't allowed out of her room until her Mum got up. Which was occasionally 11am but most days it was "only" a couple of hours and her room was "safe" - SS still put her on plan so clearly her being left alone in a safe environment whilst her mother slept wasn't acceptable to them. Maybe I should have put this in my original post - but tbh she has done so much worse since, that I completely forgot that this was where it started until today.

Treaclesoda

"My neighbours' child climbed out of her cot in the middle of the night whilst they were sleeping and broke bones in the fall. Should they now take it in turns to sit beside her cot at night whilst she sleeps, in case she should wake and try it again? Or do they put it down to a freak accident and go back to putting her to bed at night and going to bed themselves like most families do?"

For me this would be the point where I'd put them in a bed - less distance to fall so reduced risk of injury - maybe with a bedrail, or a quilt on the floor to lessen any impact - and a baby gate on the bedroom door. If the child is a climber then I'd buy one of the Lindam dog gates - because they are a foot taller than a baby one (I'll be getting Bear Grylls DD that one once she's in a bed!)

I wouldn't put it down to a freak accident and carry on as though it hadn't happened because toddlers tend to repeat things once they know how to do something - but I wouldn't sit up all night watching either. I'd put her in a bed - because that's the generally recommended response when a child can climb out of a cot.

'batshitcrazy'? What a charmer? You seem to think I care that you work for SS, I don't. It doesn't validate your opinion to me because you have a 'professional' title. TBH your last says it all about how effective some 'official' services can be. Personally, i couldnt continue to see my DN be treated badly. My mother was often flabbergasted at the ineptness of that particular service when she was on CP boards- dreadful mistakes that subsequently ruined childrens' lives and probably their adult lives. like I said I'm a grown woman so band wagon or not I will say what I have to say without being worried about back up. Some of us have the courage of our convictions!

The general consensus on whether something is right or wrong is of course relevant to deciding something is wrong inneed

I have never heard of the general consensus on cc it seems pretty even for for and against in RL and here.

Unlike co-sleeping there isn't leaflets advising against it...