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Original poster

x mas present for dc been ruined by friend wwyd

151 replies

wonderingsoul · 25/11/2012 10:22

not sure what to do about this. but couple of weeks ago i had been in town with a friend. she is a lovely friend. i had brought to presents for my dc. coming to £30. which may not sound alot but it is to me and her. i hadnt noticed the time so had to speed of to get kids from school.

she kindly offered to take them back to hers so they wouldnt see the bags and see whats inside. and said shed bring them with her when she came to mine later that night when the kids where asleep.

she forgot and has forgotton the other times. iv offered to go up hers a few times but shes been at work or out.
but as it is her kids have got hold of them and are slightly dirty (their two talking tomes. 2 for 30 in argos) and used basically.

my delimea is now.. i want the money to buy new ones. or it to be replaced. but shes has big money troubles.. so do i

a- just replace them myself and wait for the money instalments .. though i dont really have the money to replace them along with the other stuff i have to get.

b- just forget about them for christmas and get th emoney in the new year.

part of me feels bad wanting to ask her becasue i know her money troubles but then the other part of me feels like my children shouldnt miss out of the presents i brought becasue of it.

OP posts:
Tabliope · 25/11/2012 12:11

Sorry OP but I don't see how her kids could have got the cats out of the packaging without completely ripping the packaging. How old are her kids? Old enough to have known what they were doing was wrong? Also how grubby were her kids to have made the cats grubby? Sounds like they've been played with quite a bit. Lastly, don't most of these toys either have the batteries separate or not included or there used to be a bit of plastic that you pull out of the battery pack so that you can start using the toy - when it's in place it means the batteries aren't being used up. This would be a deal breaker in a friendship with me unless she replaced them. Like others I've had this type of crap from 'friends' in the past.

clam · 25/11/2012 12:12

They've been played with long enough to have got grubby. How come she didn't notice sooner? Especially if they're talking toys - wouldn't she have heard?
I reckon she thought it'd be OK for them to have a play with them, and let them get on with it - until she realised they'd spoilt them.
I would be furious with her. She is depending on your good nature to get away with this.

Tabliope · 25/11/2012 12:17

The Argos link says batteries not included so maybe they just played with them without the batteries in and just as soft toys. I wouldn't be happy but if you can forgive her OP you're a better person than I.

Millie1 · 25/11/2012 12:25

Ditto what Clam said. If the toys got grubby I'd think she has just let them play with them for an easy life. Feel very sorry for you.

mum11970 · 25/11/2012 12:30

Ooh I'd be well pee'd off. I hope they're not too grubby and they haven't been recording there names on them, you're 7 year old would spot that straight away. If I was your friend I would have replaced them and said nothing, no matter how hard up I was.

clam · 25/11/2012 12:34

Well, then if there are batteries inserted, then there's your proof that an adult was in on it.
In which case she'd be right off my Christmas card list.

Badgersnatch · 25/11/2012 12:43

What did you fall out about before OP? Has she got form for taking the piss?

mirry2 · 25/11/2012 12:43

I would be furious. however if the op is willing to let it go up to a point the least she should do is ask her friend to buy her children a decent Christmas present (ie more than a packet of sweets) to make up for it

Enfyshedd · 25/11/2012 12:58

Don't soft toys in a box normally have some cable tie type things to hold them in place in the packaging? You need a pair of scissors to get through them unless you're capable of ripping them through the cardboard, which not many LO's are capable of.

I'd be livid...

RooneyMara · 25/11/2012 13:07

I think you need to ask her to pay for new ones - even if that means she pays you back in January.

It's out of order.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 25/11/2012 13:25

So she has inserted batteries in them?
How do you know they are not now faulty?

I would be furious. This would be a deal breaker in any friendship for me.

She knows you are hard up. Yet she let her kids ruin your kids toys.

colleysmill · 25/11/2012 13:43

I think the OPs friend's reaction when she sees her will be the most telling.

If my dc had done that to someone's presents I was looking after I would be mortified and wanting to fix the situation as much as possible with lots of grovelling and many apologies.

If she isn't then I would be wary of any friendship in the future with that person.

RooneyMara · 25/11/2012 13:48

I mean she probably let it happen by accident, by being very disorganised, by giving in to them asking...I can totally see how it could happen.

BUT that doesn't mean she can give them back with damaged packaging, used batteries and grubby. She needs to stump up. It just puts you in the position of having to ask her to, which is really uncomfortable and unfair for you.

The thing about not being available for you to collect them from her house is making me Hmm though, big time.

starfishmummy · 25/11/2012 14:15

I would be furious, she should have put them somewhere safe and i would expect to get them back in the same condition as I left them. The dc were bought new toys so that is what they should have.
The friend should have got replacements to hand over without needing to be asked

Whocansay · 25/11/2012 15:15

I am completely Shock at this. She has clearly let the children play with these toys. They managed to get them out of the packaging (which would have taken time and possibly scissors), they are grubby (so they must have had them for a reasonable amount of time), AND she put batteries in them! She must have a real brass neck returning them at all! Tell her to give them to her children for Xmas and buy you replacements. Why should your children get the worse deal because she won't set proper boundaries for her children?

Also, I don't think you should be worrying about her financial situation as it is not something you can help or control. I don't think you should feel guilty for demanding new toys. She is completely in the wrong here and frankly isn't much of a friend for not just replacing them in the first place. If she'd done that, you'd never have known and wouldn't be put in this situation.

mirry2 · 25/11/2012 15:47

I always insisted my dc ask me before getting things out of shopping bags. Am i being a bit old fashioned here?

wewereherefirst · 25/11/2012 16:00

My son NEVER opened anything without my permission (by that I mean I gave it to him). She has no respect for your things, if either of my Dc's did this I would be going ballistic and buying new ones for my friend, because their children shouldn't miss out because mine have no respect.

MurderOfGoths · 25/11/2012 16:12

"Don't soft toys in a box normally have some cable tie type things to hold them in place in the packaging? You need a pair of scissors to get through them unless you're capable of ripping them through the cardboard"

That's what I thought.

I'd be fuming

clam · 25/11/2012 16:23

"she prob would pay the money now but i know her kids will lose out and thats not really fair."

Her kids haven't lost out. They've had a ball with your kids' brand new Christmas presents. And were naughty to do it anyway, so need some sort of punishment or sanction, whichever you prefer to call it. So it's perfectly fair.

What's not fair is that your kids lose out.

BuntyPenfold · 25/11/2012 16:55

I'd be fuming too. Basically, she has given them to her kids to play with. Your kids get them second-hand.

She wouldn't remain my friend. She may be broke, but she knows you are too.

Original poster
wonderingsoul · 25/11/2012 17:08

well i am back.

one was ok. the other had some wheatbix/ready breck on the back of his head but iv been able to clean them up. i literally knocked, asked for the toys told her i was very pissed and hurt at her and just to give me some space and ill phone her next week. she did appogise again and i know she feels at least shamfull over it.

i would imagin her or her one of her nephews (18 year old little "thug" who lives with them in the shed in the garden) has opened it and gave it to the kids as it wouldnt have been easy to get out of the box or it was her eldest who is big for his age and has quite a temper on him so its a possablity. .. but something went on there with no thought to me or my children.

right now imm giving her a wide birth.

i'll wrap them up, my eldest may notice about it not being in a box but ill tell him its so he can play with it straight away.

OP posts:
clam · 25/11/2012 17:11

So, there's an 18 year old on the scene who, in the run-up to Christmas in a household with young children, saw some new boxed toys in a carrier bag and thought it would be a good idea to open them up and give them to the kids at the back end of November?

ENormaSnob · 25/11/2012 17:13

She's a prick.

A fucking selfish prick. She needs to pay up and replace.

I would be more concerned with my own kids missing out because hers have had a ball playing with your kids presents. Tough shit if she has to go short, she should've thought about that.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/11/2012 17:15

So she didn't offer to do anything to make up for it or to help you pay for new ones? Shock

What a bitch!?

Original poster
wonderingsoul · 25/11/2012 17:15

well i dont know. im just trying to think of how it could have happened. i dont think she would have said" here.. play with these" but shes not the best on keeping an out on things and knowing what her children are doing. they could have got it out and he could have helped open them not knowing any better if they where theirs or not.
i dunno. all she said was that they got hold of them.

OP posts: