To wonder what the fuck is going on?

[namechanger11111]

I've got to be quick because not so dp is coming over soon.

We've in the last few weeks got back together after splitting for a few months. It's not been 100% great and we might have rushed things a bit. He was seeing someone else but broke it off for us to get back together.

He hurt me a lot during getting back together by putting her feelings before mine.

Anyway I've just logged into his yahoo inbox and there are several video calls between the 2 of them from after we got back together. I'm shaking and I feel sick that he's done this. I want to talk to her but I don't want him knowing.

He's also just come back from a weekend away he was supposed to take his son on but ended up going alone so he says.

I want to talk to her and find out the truth before I confront him because he'll fill me full of bullshit as usual.

He lost his phone the other day and freaked out that i'd taken it and it never leaves his side.

You've done the right thing, the bloke's an arse.

Thank you I'm feeling awful but proud of myself.

Well done, in the future you will look back and realise you made the best decision. Good luck to you, sounds like you're well rid.

If you fill up your life with arseholes you don't leave any space for nice people. Good for you, onwards and upwards .

Well done OP, and if he does go straight to her then pity her, you've got your pride intact and your head held high whilst she has thrown her self respect away. It's not a competition and he is not a prize. Well except a booby prize maybe!

He wants to come over now apparently to see the kids. I've told him not t but he probably will.

Are they his dcs OP? Not that it matters if you have said no to a visit tonight he should still stay away.

Don't let him over the doorstep OP, if he wants to see them then you need to arrange a proper time in advance so he can take them out. Dropping in when he feels like it is not a precedent you want to set.

Yes they are.

I bumped into my friend earlier and she was inviting us out this weekend. I told her the bare bones of what happened and the look of shock on her face that i would put up with that said it all.

I've. been very reasonable over the weekend. I said if he cuts contact with her then I'll do whatever it takes to make us work. He can't promise me that and that says it all.

Hold your resolve. This isn't a healthy relationship. You're seeing it clearly at the moment.

You're brave and are definitely doing the right thing. You cannot live with doubt and without trust, it is not worth it. I did for six years and it nearly broke me, but I look back now and cannot believe what a doormat I was. Keep strong and keep messaging xx

Good for you OP (I've just read the post where you've split up).

You've done the right thing. You may never know the whole truth but it doesn't matter

I've been very reasonable over the weekend. I said if he cuts contact with her then I'll do whatever it takes to make us work. He can't promise me that and that says it all.
I hope for your sake you aren't having second thoughts. You shouldn't be giving him an ultimatum to give up the OW, because you can't force someone to be faithful. If he was worth keeping he would have already given her up.

I've already given him the ultimatum. He said he couldn't tell me he could give her up because he didn't know if he could!

So i got fed up of waiting for him to effectively choose me and told him it's over.

I'm pretending to him I'm being strong but i don't know how strong i really am.

Name . If you let him wriggle his way back in to your life you will never settle. From your previous posts it sounds like he has done this more than once. It will be a constant nagging doubt in the back of your mind, permanently worrying about where he is, and who he is with.
The phone never leaving side is a huge red flag billowing in the wind . You need to be brave in the short term, Ignore his lies and TELL him the situation with regard to seeing the dc's.

Others in same situation recomend no 'inside visits' / putting little ones to bed, just poppping round , type of arrangements . Unmumsnetty Hug ., good luck

One phrase comes to mind when I read about your ex-DP - "cake and eat it".

He has done this throughout our relationship many times. This particular woman was who he was seeing after we split up. He ended it with her for us to get back together. Well he did eventually he told me he was going to and then took weeks. Then after he'd told her on the phone she wanted to come and collect her stuff. He ended up taking her out for lunch to say goodbye!

OP, your request that he stops seeing the OW was entirely reasonable. Please don't start thinking that you've been too demanding. You can get through this, you made an entirely justifiable criterion for the relationship continuing. He bailed on the relationship, not you. Stay strong.

He makes me feel like such a psycho control freak that i do try very hard not to come across that way. Possibly going too far the other way at times.

Well done for taking back control. You only get one go at life, don't waste precious time chasing after him, keep your head up and looking forward. Apart from anything a clean break and proper visiting arrangements with the kids will make life a lot simpler for all.

read his texts tonight while asleep

opps great youve lest him

Thankfully he's not living here at the moment.