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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to rant because this really upset me.

79 replies

SecretCervix · 22/11/2012 22:07

Completely can't believe what I saw earlier whilst sat in the bus stop, bloke came across with his 2 kids (primary school age) and says "wait here I will be back in 2 mins," then walks up to the off licence and came back with a can of lager, which he proceeded to drink on the bus. Whilst his two children ran unchecked around the bus. It really upset me to see how some people treat their children. If you can't wait till your kids are in bed before you crack out the alcohol, you have got a serious problem, if you do it on the bus out in public with your kids with you, you are sick in the head as far as I am concerned. Rant over.

This is basically a copy of what I just put on my FB status, I was so shocked (but I do live in an area where you see people passing your window swigging on a bottle of stella artois at 8 in the morning, but to do it when you are in charge of young children beggars belief!

I want to add that I am currently 4 months pregnant and a tad emotional and hormonal at the best of times, so I might be overreacting. I'm just so thankful for my DP as he would never ever consider doing that!

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:10

if you were half cut on bus with your kids damn right id judge

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:11

monsterchild · 22/11/2012 23:12

I agree, YANBU about the drinking on the bus and leaving the kids to buy beer. that's not very good.

But YABVU to say that any drinking in front of kids = serious problem.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 22/11/2012 23:12

I can't believe I am writing this, but I agree with scottishmummy

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:14

well being halfcut i imagine youd be oblivious and impaired of thought and mood
so yes when drunk i imagine you would be unable to assess your impact upin others
or their reaction to you

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:16

Half cut? I said tipsy I don't think 2/3 drinks with food over the course of 2/3 hours makes oblivious and impaired. I did say tipsy and yes I would notice and giggle

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 22/11/2012 23:21

I don't agree with drinking alcohol whilst in charge of children

Well, that's half of MN off your Christmas Card list then There's absolutely nothing wrong with it at all and I find people who wont drink when there are children around a bit odd actually and strike me as the ones who are most likely to have issues with alcohol & to create them with their children by making it more interested and forbidden fruit.

There's nothing wrong at all with leaving primary school children waiting at a bus stop while you nip into a shop, unless the bus stop is on the M25 or similar.

There's nothing wrong with having a beer when the kids are around.

There's nothing actually wrong with having a beer on the bus, even though it's not something I'd do.

Lots of people let their kids mess around on the bus - not something I'd do, but hardly the crime of the century.

How exactly, is any of this, treating the children badly???

WorraLiberty · 22/11/2012 23:24

Primary school children age from 4 to 11yrs anyway.

The OP hasn't given us any indication of how old they actually were.

I'd have no trouble whatsoever leaving my 10yr old at the bus stop while I popped into the shop.

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:24

brandy if you're not caring why are you backtracking to emphasise tipsy not half cut
a lush out with her weans, yes id judge you as reckless and inappropriate
and no semantics about whether youre tipsy or half cut changes it

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:27

Have a reread SM I even go out for meals with my friend and our dc and get tipsy type pissed and catch the bus home with the dc.

maddening · 22/11/2012 23:29

Indeed - if you were very pissed - falling down drunk where you put your children in risky situations or in danger and neglected them then that would be wrong

But you weren't doing that - I assume you were just tipsy e.g. couple of glasses of wine with food having treated your dc to a lovely sociable day out with friends and using public transport so acting responsibly not drink driving and I assume you took wonderful care of your dc. Everything here is totally fine.

But between fine and wrong is a whole world of gray - at a certain point it moves from fine and acceptable to wrong and in the case of children we judge each situation - this slice of that family's life struck a chord of not being right with the op. Maybe a little ott to paste it all over fb as she doesn't know the situation fully - he may not have been that drunk, it may be a one off - only people who know him could say and potentially intervene. What the op saw can invoke a quick judgement but she wbu to have said anything as, although possibly indicative of other problems, is totally legal and nothing untoward has happened ( possibly more by luck than judgement ) to her knowledge.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2012 23:32

A FB status judging? That'll learn him.

Sounds like a class issue to me. A glass of Chardonnay with Jocasta and Tarquin over lightly poached salmon = fine. A tin on the bus = not fine. I would have judged but at least I know I'm a snob.

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:33

There is a difference IMHO between tipsy and falling down drunk definatley. And yes much better then drink driving and I do see your point about the grey area. No I wouldn't stand around on the bus stop having a can or super strength but I don't see the problem leaving them to pop in the shop or having one or two drink s (or 3) around your dc.

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:33

brandy you started all hey yea man judge me i dont care.tipsy on bus.woohoo
however given your touchy and defensive response,you do care how people judge
if i saw a mum half cut,tipsy,intoxicated on bus yes id judge.so would most i suspect

DinosaursOnAnAdventCalender · 22/11/2012 23:34

I would judge. It is really trampy to be sat on the bus drinking a can of lager. Even worse when you have children with you. It's scummy. Sorry but it is.

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:35

Gosh SM you could make an argument in an empty room

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:35

tipsy on bus with kids id think sad ole lush

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:36

I am so sorry you always seem so angry SM

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:36

no brandy you were all yea man,tipsy on bus.woohoo judge away
i do judge if i saw tipsy mum on bus
you clearly aren't as relaxed about peoole opinions as you make out

InNeedOfBrandy · 22/11/2012 23:38

Oh do I have to copy and paste my post for you to read properly again and I don't care if you judged me for being tipsy on the bus with my dc I really wouldn't, your opinion does not affect me.

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:40

^tipsy type pissed on bus home with the dc.

missymoomoomee · 22/11/2012 23:42

It is illegal to actualy be drunk and responsible for a child though isn't it. I'm sure I read someone was charged for it in the UK, or am I making things up.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2012 23:47

Yes missy a child under 7.

scottishmummy · 22/11/2012 23:49

drunk in charge of a child under the age of seven years,contrary to section 2(1) of the licensing act 1902.

missymoomoomee · 22/11/2012 23:51

Ahhh thank you MrsT

7 seems like a bit of a funny cut off age, I wonder why they decided on that.

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