AIBU to be upset at husband's lack of DIY skills

[helendont]

We've recently moved house and it needs a total overhaul in terms of decor - we've moved our 2 year old into bedroom number 3 while we do up bedroom 2 for her and have so far spent a fortune on ripping out old build in wardrobes and having the walls and ceiling completely replastered. Hubby has put a coat of white undercoat on all the walls and ceiling and has since applied the (damn expensive) extra durable, scrubbable paint I bought recently to two of the walls.

I'm currently off work with a bad back and am 4 months gone with baby number 2. Have just gone upstairs to have a proper look at the progress of this room in the daylight and am so upset I could cry. It would seem he has all the painting skills of our two year old. Paint has been slapped on, is patchy, drips (now dried so impossible to get rid of) all down all the walls, awful brush marks where the roller and edging brushes havent even tried to be blended... and no attempt to even begin to go slightly behind the radiator to concela the bare plaster.

Now I knew he wasn't the most dextrous and we normally so painting together but am so disappointed with what he's done I could actually cry. Am probably being over fussy and unreasonable but we have gone to such a lot of effort to get our DD's room perfect for her and spent more money than we can really afford trying to sort it that I am just heartbroken. He's used up every scrap of paint so there's no room for even going over it again without forking out another load for another full tin that we don't need to correct it. Oh, and he's also got paint all over the carpet as he didn't bother to cover it properly.

While I'm upset I know equally how crestfallen he will be if I tell him what a bloody awful mess he has made (obv woudn't word it quite like that) as he's very touchy about his DIY skills.

What should I do?

Get a proper tradesperson in?

Unless you could have done it any better, then YABabitU.

I think you'll either have to do it yourself when your back's better or pay a painter and decorator.

No-one can be good at everything and this is obviously something he's not good at.

Where is it written that penis ownership automatically means DIY skills? Yellow Pages... Decorators.

I've never understood the notion that people should be doing things in the house over weekend and with the help of a readers digest book that other people train for years to do.

YABU. My DH isn't great with DIY (he's not bad at it either, I just have higher standards!) so I do it myself.

Both of us are crap at DIY, we don't even try these days in fact we've just been sniggered at by a handyman for phoning him out to shave a few doors and rehang one.......my builder despairs of us and the lists we wave at him whenever we spot him

I can sympathise, I'm also 4 months pregnant and trying to get baby's room ready. My husband is completely useless when it comes to painting and decorating. So I don't get him to do it. He's good at doing the hard, heavy preparation (stripping woodwork, paper, sanding etc) but I'd be mad to let him loose with a paint brush. Thankfully my friend is coming for a week to do the papering and painting.

Oh and dp recently tried changing dds lightshade and managed to twist th bulb thingy off so we now need an electrician

My husband is sodding useless at DIY, possibly even worse than me. We've accepted that all painting / floor laying / installing type jobs will involve getting a man in.

Which means nothing actually gets done. Our stairs were replastered in 2009 and still haven't been painted

As he has only done 2 walls you will need to get more paint anyway so why not wait until you can do it together and go over the badly painted ones with another coat. You can rub down the drips with sandpaper and with another coat you wont see the bad brush marks. Or if you need it done sooner get someone in to do it.

And don't let him loose with a paint brush alone again!

As for the paint on the carpet, that would get me mad. I don't know what you are going to do about that apart form cover it with furniture.

I would have done it myself but the reason my back is bad is because I took a day off work to paint the bathroom and put it out. I'm no expert but at least that room looks decent... I know it sounds awful but DD's room just looks horific after his efforts.

We can't afford to get any more tradespeople in as have spent so much on moving, plastering etc etc and had so many problems with them not turning up on time/at all that even if I could I'm starting to lose confidence.

I guess IABU but after all his talk about 'doing it right' and making it a perfect room for our DD it just felt like a smack in the face to see what a dismal amount of effort he seems to have actually put in himself. Even if I could do it myself now the damage is done in terms of the wall surface and smoothing it out (without plastering it again or skimming or whatever) and then paying for the paint again... I just don't think I can face it but am just really really disappointed

TThanks Sootica - the paint on the carpet is right when you walk in the door!

The idea was paint 2 walls in one colour then the other 2 in another - so we're totally out of the first lot now. I just can;t bring myself to tell him it looks shit!

I would always pay someone to do this stuff, it's worth the money IMO as it gets done more quickly and efficiently and looks better in the end than if we'd tried to do it ourselves. Also we both hate DIY and are rubbish at it.

I probably would have done a similarly bad job as your DH.

In future you've going to have to factor in the cost of paying someone else if you can't do it yourself.

The last time we changed the wallpaper, we saved for the paper and paint and then saved for longer to pay someone to hang it as we're both useless at wallpaper hanging.

It's all in the prep work...no point spending out loads of plastering etc if you are then gonna finish it off badly.

Either you can do that sort of stuff or you can'y. Personally I am crap at anything like that but luckily I happen to be married to a painter and decorator :)

I do all the DIY myself. Thus I am always happy that it is done to my expectations.

I think painting is on of these things people assume is easy and it's totally not!

I don't mind getting people in for major things as I wouldn't have a clue - but is it really that difficult to paint a wall? I'd never dream of wallpapering myself but painting - we've never had an issue before but then I have always done it myself or we've done it together?!? I don't think I'd ever pay someone to do that - it would never cross my mind - although maybe now it will if hubby is the one in the frame for the job on his own... Hopefully my back will get better and we can do the next part 'together'.
Am probably just being a massive control freak but at least I'll be able to oversee if I am helping...

I remember ages ago when our NCT group was chatting away about how rubbish our respective spouses were at DIY. One lady noted how we would all feel if our husbands sat around rubbishing our cooking skills, "just because a woman is supposed to be good at it".

I think we expect better plumbing/electric/building skills from the men in our life, even though we can do as good a job as any of them. Is that why you feel let down? Maybe its not a lack of DIY skills, just carelessness or he was pre-occupied with something else though. I do feel for you, paint is damn expensive...

I am married to a decorator but our house never gets done, he is generally good at all DIY but won't touch electrics. I sometimes get to see other people's homes that are beautiful and look at our tired decor.

I am useless at destroy it yourself, my limit is changing a lightbulb

Helen - yes of course if is quite hard to paint a wall if you want it to look nice - there is a technique of doing it or why would anyone hire a pro to do it.

I painted a wall once...just once....years ago and it was shockingly awful, brush strokes galore. My DH does it and of course it looks gorgeous.

He is a general builder and does everything but no, he doesnt touch electrics either unless it is something quite simple.

I think I just feel so rubbish because i want to help but can't with my back being so bad, and he made such a big deal of how good it was going to look.

We have painted so many times together I am just gobsmacked that he doesn't remember the little thigns you need to do to finish it off properly. I know he's not great at DIY and so does he but I thought he could manage this one thing without me stood behind him nagging away all day!

"but is it really that difficult to paint a wall?"

It is a skilled job to do it PROPERLY, yes.

My Dh is both rubbish and has no interest in DIY or fixing things. I either do it myself (because I quite enjoy fixing things) or get someone in.
This is why I'd never move anywhere that needed work doing to it.