AIBU to be upset at husband's lack of DIY skills

[helendont]

We've recently moved house and it needs a total overhaul in terms of decor - we've moved our 2 year old into bedroom number 3 while we do up bedroom 2 for her and have so far spent a fortune on ripping out old build in wardrobes and having the walls and ceiling completely replastered. Hubby has put a coat of white undercoat on all the walls and ceiling and has since applied the (damn expensive) extra durable, scrubbable paint I bought recently to two of the walls.

I'm currently off work with a bad back and am 4 months gone with baby number 2. Have just gone upstairs to have a proper look at the progress of this room in the daylight and am so upset I could cry. It would seem he has all the painting skills of our two year old. Paint has been slapped on, is patchy, drips (now dried so impossible to get rid of) all down all the walls, awful brush marks where the roller and edging brushes havent even tried to be blended... and no attempt to even begin to go slightly behind the radiator to concela the bare plaster.

Now I knew he wasn't the most dextrous and we normally so painting together but am so disappointed with what he's done I could actually cry. Am probably being over fussy and unreasonable but we have gone to such a lot of effort to get our DD's room perfect for her and spent more money than we can really afford trying to sort it that I am just heartbroken. He's used up every scrap of paint so there's no room for even going over it again without forking out another load for another full tin that we don't need to correct it. Oh, and he's also got paint all over the carpet as he didn't bother to cover it properly.

While I'm upset I know equally how crestfallen he will be if I tell him what a bloody awful mess he has made (obv woudn't word it quite like that) as he's very touchy about his DIY skills.

What should I do?

Perhaps because of the implication that he should be good at it.

I can't help thinking that a thread about being "upset at my wife's housekeeping skills" would be met with similar s

The OPs DH is "not the most dextrous" so really she shouldn't be surprised he bodged it.

This has brought back happy memories of when I painted the hall stairs and landing at 8 months pregnant with DD though :o

I just wrote a big response to this then my compter crashed... basically it went along the lines of thanking LRD - being sexist was never my intention and I think I have been clear enough there - male or female it's a crap job done. And to reiterate again, the reason I'm not painting isn't because i am pregnant, it's because I have a bad back - because of painting!

Funny how people say DIY doesn't go with a willy and then - get a man in to do it.

Anyhow I would usually say get a man in / woman in but I've never had a job done well in my house even by professionals, not to the standard you'd expect when you decide to shell out money, except for plastering. So at least if you don't pay, and try to do it yourself, you're prepared for the flaws.

However this mess sounds horrific and if you can't afford to get a man in can you beg a friend or relative. A friend might do it either for a very big favour, or for a lot less money, cases of wine or beer or something less than the £££ that a professional would charge.

I don't think sexism is the lady's problem. I think a crappy nursery is the lady's problem and setting the world to rights may be secondary to that.

I mean, it needs doing, and you can't afford to pay a professional, and he can't do it and you can't do it. Do you have friends who can help, are you in a church that might rally round.

Not everyone is good at decorating... it's a skill. Unlike plumbing or electrics, you can do a poor job of decorating and get away with it.

I have the reverse problem... Mr. Grumpy, a retired toolmaker, thinks he can do anything, from wiring to plumbing to carpentry to decorating. He's currently making a mess of building a new mantle.

It's a good thing I've got low standards.

Yes I can't do it but I've done it because my husband would rather commit harakiri than pick up a paintbrush. When you are a perfectionist it's actually harder than if you can think "that'll do". My cutting in is appalling but I've done filling and sanding, painting walls, woodwork, fixing doorknobs, toilet seats, silicone, all that stuff.

I'm with you OP. I would be gutted that he has done such a half-arsed job when you know you could have done it yourself a hundred times better.

My DH is rubbish with anything liquid like concrete, plaster, paint etc. but bloody brilliant with other forms of DIY. We stick to our strengths and therefore I get the horrid task of painting.

This is slightly off the OP's original point but I'm of the view that everyone should be taught basic painting, decorating and most house maintenance skills. Eeven if you don't have the time or the health to do it yourself, it doesn't half give you a good handle on what workmen are doing if you do have to have them in for something - and you generally get a better job done.

I exclude gas from any list. I know broadly about gas theory but in practice I know just enough to know when it's time to call in the professionals.

My DH went to college for 4 years and did an apprenticeship to learn all the tricks of the trade. He is so quick - he can do a room in next to no time - in and out as he says time is money.