To not want DH to go abroad on stag do when I am 38 weeks pregnant?

[LittlePickleHead]

Just had a conversation with DH and feeling a bit upset. He is usher at one his best friends wedding, at the end of May. I am due very beginning of May, and as the wedding involves camping there is no way I can realistically plan to go. DH is still going and I've arranged that my mum will be down at that point to help (also have DD age 3). The stag is abroad (European country, 2 hour flight) and is most likely going to be mid April. He's just said he's going to go for one night, as the chance of me going into labour that very time are slim.

He may be right, but I feel it's a risk and feel really worried about it. Especially as ill have DD to think about and no family close by.

AIBU to think he shouldn't plan to go if it ends up being so close to my due date, or am I being overly paranoid?

Btw I'm missing two weddings and a foreign hen do which are all happening close to the birth so I'm probably feeling a little left out that he can go off an have his fun whilst I wait around gestating his child...

Nooooooo... I'm a bloke and I wouldn't have dreamed of travelling that far at 38 weeks. There's every chance you could go into labour while he's away.

I think he should bite the bullet and tell his mate he can't go - if he is a good friend he will understand and why should you be the only one missing things. I had DS at 37+4 and DH would have been gutted to not have been there. He can see his friends after their wedding but he can't re live being there at birth of his child. Good luck to you.

He's a bit clueless if you ask me, you might even have had thr baby by then!!! In any case, if you're anything like me you might be exhausted and need all the help you can get with DD at that time.

Yadnbu

I am due April and my dh wouldn't dream of doing this.

I don't think YABU actually - it may just be a 2 hour flight, but it would take longer than that to get home, there might not be a flight or seat available if he needed to come home immediately plus the risks of not hearing a phone/having a signal/being pissed...

DH vetoed travel abroad when I was 36 / 37 weeks onwards, he was a regular traveller with work.

It may just have got him out of some work though.

YANBU, you shouldn't feel anxious at that point without having the father there. He knows he is being unreasonable or he wouldn't have suggested one night instead of two. At that stage, what is the difference.

His reasoning is partly that dd was overdue (I ended up being induced) so I really don't think he believes it will happen. He would be utterly gutted to miss the birth I know, but he really wants to go on the stag.

This site is a good one for finding out probability, which might help him to get a clue: spacefem.com/pregnant/due.php

YANBU and he shouldn't go - agree being a twat but provided he can provide you with suitable cover etc I don't think worth digging heels in over.

No way should he go

I have friends who have military husbands, they have no choice but to go abroad when told even if their wife is going to give birth while they are away.

If they had the choice, there is no way they would be 2 hour flight away (plus all the extra time it takes to travel

He needs to put his family first

Ah that was going to be my next question, is it your first? Seeing as it's not and second babies are statistically likely to be earlier than first babies, YADNBU.

X-posted massively. I know I'm not being unreasonable really but just wanted back up. Hopefully I won't need to have an argument over this and he'll realise how silly it is!

But it's your 2nd baby, you may not be overdue and the birth could well be quicker.

He shouldn't go.

He needs to grow up! Gimme a break!

Foreign hen/stag do's are stupid, anyhow.

He is being totally unreasonable. My DH stopped travelling abroad when I was 30 weeks. I'm 36 weeks now and he's working from home 2 days a week to come to appointments and help me with the school runs. No way would he leave the country now!

Is it just the stag you don't want him to go to? The wedding is ok cos its in this country and your mum will be around for you? I'd be fine with the wedding plan on the understanding that he wouldn't drink so that he could drive straight back if needs be.

The stag abroad should be an absolute no no for ALL the reasons that have already been mentioned. It's the wedding that's the important bit, not the bloody stag do. I really wish people wouldn't organise these events abroad as people do have their own lives to lead without everything revolving round a bloody wedding and all the pre-events that seem associated with them these days.

Tell him my dh went to London for a meeting when I was 37 weeks pg with ds3 and missed the birth

In hindsight I can't believe I let him talk me into it.

I might just try and make him think and say to him, however unlikely it is that it will happen that specific evening (if I haven't already given birth as someone pointed out!) then could he live with himself if he missed the birth?

Plus I'm not sure what cover he could organise really - there isn't anyone else that I would want at the birth with me

he really wants to go on the stag. Well, of course he does, but his heavily-pregnant-wife-who-may-go-into-labour kinda top trumps his need for a glorified lad's night out .

But it's not even the going into labour thing that needs discussing. You will be 38 weeks pregnant and you have another DC don't you? Surely you will be needing his help to look after your other DC?

DS arrived, first baby arrived 10 days late

DD arrived 2 weeks early, I had no idea I was going into labour until just a couple of hours before she showed her beautiful face to the world

Sorry I realised the baby will be born by the time the wedding comes round. I'd still be fine with my dh going as long as i could call on someone for help. Fwiw.

I gave birth first time 2.5 weeks early.
It does happen!
He is bvu!